By Carol Bradley Bursack, AgingCare.com
They say hindsight is 20/20. If you could go back in time: what would you now as seasoned caregivers say to your novice self about how to be a caregiver?
As a seasoned caregiver of multiple elders, I can choose to torture myself with my perceived failures at being a perfect caregiver, or I can choose to forgive myself for being imperfect, and recognize that I did the best I could at the time. You have the same choice.
Much like an adult who realizes that he or she has a “wounded child” living inside – a child who suffers from unearned self-blame or low self-esteem because of life events – many adult caregivers carry the guilt from their “infant” caregiving years to their grave. They spend precious time thinking about how they should have understood someone’s needs better, could have been more patient, would have done any number of things better, if only they knew then what they know now.
The very people who take on caregiving roles are often the most sensitive to other’s needs. Many also tend to be overly sensitive in other ways. Let’s face it. Whatever we do as caregivers seems to be wrong in the eyes of some lookers-on, generally people without all of the facts, and often people who couldn’t do what we do no matter what. Still, we are sensitive to their judgment.
If You Knew Then What You Know Now: Hindsight for Caregivers, originally appeared on AgingCare.com