Your hands brush while reaching for the same avocado at Whole Foods and it’s love at first sight. You lock eyes at an art gallery and elope that day. You spill coffee on him on your way to work, he finds your klutziness impossibly charming, and you live happily ever after.
It’s called a meet-cute—a scenario in which potential romantic partners meet in an especially adorable, whimsical, impossibly romantic way—and though romantic comedies would have you believe that this is how people meet and fall in love all the time in real life, you yourself can probably attest to that not being the case. Go ahead—run the numbers. I’ll do it too—out of 10 couples in my life (ages ranging from mid-twenties to mid-eighties), three met on an online dating site, one met at a matchmaking event, four met at school or work, and two met through friends. That’s not to say these couples didn’t go on to have romantic dates and relationships with the people they met at the office or on Match.com—it just means that perhaps “it comes when you least expect it” should just apply to things like identity theft and unplanned pregnancy, and not to love.
A 2011 Zagat survey of 2,029 daters backs up my findings—25 percent of men and women preferred to meet someone through friends and family; 24 percent between hobbies, activities, bars, and other places; 20 percent online and at singles events; 15 percent at work or school; and 14 percent through “random encounters.” Yet Hollywood—I’m looking at you, Katherine Heigl—would have us believe that love doesn’t happen on dating sites or setups through friends—it happens when you’re forced to work with a misogynistic pig who turns out to be your perfect match; when you have a one night stand with a clueless schlub who turns out to be your perfect match; when a tragic accident brings you together with a rude man-child who turns out to be your perfect match; when you spend half a movie doing a trying-on-bridesmaid-dresses montage and bright orange taffeta turns out to be your perfect match.