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Improve Your Communications

Improve Your Communications

Communication is vital to our lives: it’s how we make ourselves heard, express our feelings, or get important information across. In fact, communicating is so key that, for thousands of years, Wise Ones have used many different allies to help them speak or write successfully.

If you have something important to say to someone, or a key letter or email to send, here is some real help, both practical and magical. Find out three important keys for communicating, and see which animals, gemstones, colors, and more are your allies for speaking and writing clearly, strongly, and successfully, right here:

General Communication Help

1. If the purpose of your communication is to express an issue or problem with someone, there is one important guideline to follow: use “I” statements. Instead of “You’re such a thoughtless person. How could you forget my birthday?” try, “I felt really uncared-for when you forgot my birthday.” “You” statements usually trigger defensiveness. “I” statements are more likely to elicit empathy.

2. Generally, go to the deepest level of truth that you possibly can and communicate from that place. There are many levels of truth, even when making “I“ statements. “I get really mad when you ignore me at parties!” is one. But try going deeper: “I think I get angry when you ignore me at parties because it makes me feel you don’t care about me, and then I start to feel very alone.”

3. Try to empathize with and validate the other person as much as you can and be as giving and understanding of them and their needs as possible, while still maintaining you own integrity.

Magical Communication Helpers

4. Ask for help from animal allies when you have something important to say. An image of bee, frog, hawk, whale, dolphin, or wolf can help to remind you of these wonderful creatures’ ability to communicate with each other.

5. Try using herbal and food allies. Traditional allies like dill, fennel, lavender, black tea, coffee, licorice, carrots, hazelnuts, mushrooms, and olives have been used to help people communicate for millennia. Try making a salad of carrots, mushrooms and olives sprinkled with dill. Infuse a cup of tea with dried lavender blossoms, or munch a couple of hazelnuts.

6. The following gemstones make helpful “worry stones” when you have something to communicate: agate, amber, citrine, copper, opal, sodalite, yellow fluorite. Just rub a piece of it between your fingers when you need to.

7. These scents, in the form of incense or essential oils, are helpful: cedar, honeysuckle, lavender, lily of the valley, sage, sweetgrass.

8. Wear violet or rainbow colors, or focus your mind on the image of a rainbow. These are traditional colors for good communication.

9. Try these ancient methods for focusing the communicating self:
Hold a hazelnut in its shell in your hand while you speak.
Ask Whale to help you speak your heart.
Invoke the Roman god Mercury with his winged feet to help you communicate with fluidity.
After you have written your letter, sprinkle it with dried lavender blossoms, then pour them off and save them until the letter has been received.

Read more: Spirit, Guidance, Self-Help

Inspired by Celebrating the Great Mother, by Cait Johnson and Maura D. Shaw (Inner Traditions, 1995).

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Cait Johnson

Cait Johnson, MFA, is the author of six books, including Earth, Water, Fire, and Air: Essential Ways of Connecting to Spirit, Witch in the Kitchen, Celebrating the Great Mother and Tarot Games. She has been a counselor for more than 20 years, and teaches workshops on seasonal elemental approaches to self-healing, conscious eating, and soul-nurturing creativity.

Go to the Source

Celebrating the Great Mother

A handbook of earth-honoring activities for parents and now


+ add your own
10:30PM PDT on May 19, 2013

Thank you.

10:29PM PDT on May 19, 2013

Thank you.

10:29PM PDT on May 19, 2013

Thank you.

10:28PM PDT on May 19, 2013

Thank you.

11:21AM PDT on Sep 5, 2012


9:18PM PST on Jan 2, 2012

Thank you so much for sharing!
Wonderful advice about the "I", "You" choice. And then the rest of the article was a whole new idea for me. This one's a keeper!

6:46PM PDT on Oct 28, 2011

Thanks for the interesting information.

1:11PM PDT on Apr 9, 2011

Thank you for opening my heart to being humble. I find it difficult to express myself at times of hurt, this is helpful. Love the use of outside loving aids.

3:51PM PST on Feb 28, 2011

Interesting article. Thanks

5:40AM PST on Feb 28, 2011

thanks for the article, i really like it, and i hope other do, cos it will go a long way to help us in our line of communication

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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