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Is Sex a Blessing or a Curse?

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Is Sex a Blessing or a Curse?

By Peter Ragnar, EnlightenNext

A close friend of mine confided an account that took place within a fundamentalist religious group during his adolescent years. One of his religious supervisors happened to catch his own daughter masturbating. The preacher then promptly marched his daughter to the woodshed where, despite her pleas for mercy, he chopped her finger off!

For so much of human history, most people were confused as to whether sex was a blessing or a curse. In the intimacy of a sexual encounter with another, our nakedness is far more than physical. Our basic drives and instincts are fully exposed. Perhaps it’s one of the rare times when a person becomes completely authentic. The experience of sexual orgasm, I’m certain you’ll agree, is a here-and-now event. You’re not “past-ing” or “futuring,” you’re absolutely in the moment. Hence, here lies a deep and potent pull, as strong as the biological attraction it offers.

Biologically speaking, we are simply here to pass on our genes and die when we can no longer fulfill our evolutionary job. But the passing on of genes is not the primary reason we have sex. What is it? Pleasure–sheer human joy!

I once asked a radical religious devotee about his view of procreation. To my surprise, he was candid and openly told me that he and his wife had sex through a sheet so that they would never allow their eyes to behold the shame of nakedness. I replied incredulously, “You’re joking, right?” Wrong! He wasn’t joking. For him, sex was a necessary curse. I personally concluded that such ideas about sex were tragic and unnecessarily guilt-generating.

For this man, sex was indeed a curse because our mental states have more power over how our glands secrete hormones than we often think. There are, for example, numerous psychological case studies of people who, after observing a tragic incident to which they have strong emotional ties, experience a sudden loss of sight. So could strong negative emotions involving sex actually lead to impotency? Is there any connection between seeing sex as a curse (in other words, believing that sexual pleasure is a vice) and the presence of abnormal hormone levels that lessen desire? That would be “convenient,” especially for one who has been conditioned to accept sex as a necessary sin. However, if sex was actually a pleasurable blessing, then its loss would be the real curse.

I recall a cartoon of two elderly men sitting on a park bench as a hot, sexy woman walks past. One says to the other, “Remember when we used to chase after that?” His friend replies, “Yes, but for the life of me I can’t remember why!” Senility, loss of libido, erectile dysfunction, decline of lean muscle mass, and those little fat bellies that men carry around as they race to find somewhere to urinate seem to be the plagues of the day. While men are worried about prostate cancer, women fear breast cancer and similar woes associated with aging and decline in sexual function.

However, a decline in sexual function can occur at any age when guilt, shame, and the concept of sin enter the emotional scene. Why? It’s very simple: Negative emotions create anxiety and tension, which can override biological function even in healthy people.

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12:04AM PDT on Sep 2, 2010

Blessing. Even for people who have difficulty with it, they still want it. That is a testament ti how much of a blessing it is.

1:57PM PDT on Jul 5, 2010

Sex is definitely a blessing. If it was a curse, mankind would have become extinct eons ago.

12:03AM PDT on Jun 17, 2010


11:37PM PDT on Jun 16, 2010

I think its both. Its good when you have someone that you love to "share the experience" but then there is the other hand like rapists and molesters etc, thats when sex is a curse

5:02AM PDT on Mar 30, 2010

sex is a blessing.

5:23AM PST on Dec 26, 2009

Sex is a blessing when you've got it and a curse when you don't

1:11PM PST on Dec 24, 2009

Of course sex is a blessing - when used properly. It can be the most wonderful expression of genuine love and trust.

8:49PM PST on Dec 23, 2009

I am a "night" person. He is a "morning" person. You could call us a "sex starved" couple. Truly satisfaction is hard to achieve for us.

7:38AM PST on Dec 16, 2009

Ireena it might interest you to know there are married religious on Care2 and as a matter of historical fact some early priests were married and you will I'm sure be of the Holy Fathers invitation to Anglican priests who are married to join the Catholic Church with out further ordination or having to renounce their marraige vows.The Idea of copying Christ's earthly status is the subject of much debate as the possibility of his earthly Jewish personna having married when he was in his mid twenties would not be unusual at the time in fact being single would have been unusual.Sadly the Church has through the ages forgotten what it has suppressed and what it hasn't to the point of emulating the normalities of politicians.The Vatican archives contain more mysteries than Obama's documents are ever likely to reveal! We have to take the voracity of what we are instructed as the word of God and as you are aware the Bible itself is simply a collection of books and bits and pieces cobbled together outside of the timescale it purports to illuminate simply to underline the stated theology of the Church and of course each division of the Christian Church has a different interpretation of those Biblical "Truths" My local Orthodox Priest is married and I always look forward to reading his wise sermons in the village magazine.The point being the Church has often been inconsistant and it's stands are often the result of the particular viewpoint of the reigning Pontiff currently being abortion.

5:32AM PST on Dec 16, 2009

I could never ask a woman who wore a cross for a date.
That was I thought she didn't know about being herself.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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