By Susan Wagner, DVM, MS, DACVIM
There I was at my friend Jim’s 60th birthday party, enjoying the many stories he was being roasted with. Someone yelled to his wife, Patty, “Tell the cat story”. We had all heard it a thousand times, but never the less, we asked for it again.
Jim had two cats, Frankie and Alexandra, who were pretty spoiled. He loved them very much, and they knew they were the apples of his eye. Once Patty came into the mix, the dynamic changed. Jim was smitten with the human love of his life. He and Patty married.
It appeared that neither cat was thrilled with their new mom. (At least that’s the common interpretation of this story–the one everyone at the party had come to believe.) Frankie and Alexandra showed their displeasure by urinating in the most inappropriate ways.
For example, Patty spent hours of hard work refinishing an old dresser for their new home. When it was finally done, she unveiled it to Jim. What a beautiful job she had done. Layers of old paint gave way to beautiful wood. Frankie walked up to it and sniffed around. “Hmm, I remember this. Must have taken mom a long time to get it looking so good” He then turned his back to the dresser, and let it fly, or should I say squirt. Urine came dripping down the side of the beautiful wood. And shrieks of horror came from Patty’s mouth.
But it didn’t stop there. No matter how nice Patty was to them, Frankie and Alexandra weren’t buying it, or so it seemed. Then the moment came, the one we listeners loved to hear over and over. Patty and Jim were sitting on the couch, and Alexandra jumped on Patty’s lap. How nice–was she finally giving in? Was she finally showing her new mom affection? We held our breaths–it was not so much affection as a strong message. Alexandra let loose a huge expulsion of urine, right on Patty’s lap.
“You have a choice”, she screamed to Jim. “It’s these crazy cats or me!” “I wouldn’t put it that way”, came Jim’s reply. Spoken like a true cat person.
Next page: Things Aren’t What They Seem
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