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Jerry Sandusky & Sexual Abuse

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Jerry Sandusky & Sexual Abuse

By Mallika Chopra

I was on a panel last year with four amazing women — women who were entrepreneurs, leaders, change makers for good in their communities. I was in awe of each one as they spoke about their commitment to help others and their incredible accomplishments.

The last question of the panel came from a young woman in the audience: What motivates you and gives you strength to do what you do? Since I sat at the end of the table, I was the last one to answer.

The first one told us that she had been raped as a younger woman.

The second one had been sexually molested, admitting it for the first time on the panel. Her mom, who was in the audience and already knew about her daughter’s trauma, sobbed with pride as she listened to her daughter say that she refused to be a victim.

The third one also had been sexually molested by a family member.

The fourth one, too, had been raped.

Each one spoke about how they had been forced to find light in a dark, very dark, world. That often it was tempting to live in darkness — and some had for lengths of time. But those glimpses of light kept them going. They cried. They laughed. They shared their stories with a desire to help others heal.

I was in awe.

When it came to my turn to speak, I couldn’t at first. I held back tears. Unlike each of the incredible women before me, I had not been abused. In fact, I had grown up surrounded by love and support. It was my good fortune, my gratitude for so many gifts that inspired me. How crazy that I had a moment of unworthiness sitting next to these women who had been abused and overcome such obstacles to achieve the things they did. Shouldn’t it be a basic right that every child is loved, given security, opportunity? How could it be that I was the only one?

One of the moms of the victims in the Jerry Sandusky trial pointed out that everyone had lost in this trial. The victims, the families, the communities, Jerry Sandusky himself. His psychosis, now so obvious, brings up questions about morality, personal and social responsibility.

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69 comments

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8:24AM PDT on Jul 31, 2012

Stories of courage here from people sexually abused and not validated, so very tragic. If validated one can heal far more easily but when a child is scorned and disbelieved it must be horrific, tearing at the very fabric of the soul.

I was sexually abused by two brothers and have found solace from the book The Courage To Heal along with a lot of counselling and healing has been fraught with depression and difficulties. The dark chasm and abyss one is tossed down into is a never ending struggle.

Climbing up towards the light at the top one often falls back downwards, bloodied and morose to try and grab at a vine or rock to scrabble back upwards towards the top, often taking years. Some do not even make it while many of us see and reach the light, be it of caring people, councillors or a pet that brings us the only comfort. My life now sees rainbows but there will always be a piece of the leaden blanket that holds part of me back as well.

12:41PM PDT on Jul 13, 2012

noted

10:16PM PDT on Jul 7, 2012

I know women who are close to me, who have been sexually abused by predators. One who has suffered greatly mentally has a cocktail of drugs which she takes daily,to block out the pain. They are never the same after they have been abused as children. They pay the price daily for the callousness of evil minds and evil actions.

12:03AM PDT on Jul 6, 2012

This is a good start to ensure that those who abuse our men and boys will have justice served upon them. To ensure that the men have a place to go, please sign Sean's Voice, a petition to ensure that abused men and boys have equal access to emergency shelter, support, and services to ensure the best potential outcome. This is dedicated to baby Sean, whose life was taken by the hands of his mother.

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/a-new-perspective-the-unacknowledged-abuse-survivors/

6:02AM PDT on Jul 3, 2012

noted

7:57PM PDT on Jul 2, 2012

Thanks for sharing your point of view regarding this horrific man.

7:14PM PDT on Jul 2, 2012

Thanks for the thoughts on a tough subject.

1:44PM PDT on Jul 1, 2012

Jerry is right where he belongs and since he has a pension for anal sex....He's right at home!

9:33AM PDT on Jul 1, 2012

Thanks for the insights.

8:53AM PDT on Jul 1, 2012

A good article.Dottie is as guilty as Jerry is. Don't tell me the wife didn't know. Pathetic enabler with blinders on. Probably justified it to herself that she didn't want to give us her nice lifestyle so she let him do anything he wanted to those young boys. Shame on you Dottie ! May you both experience the Karma you deserve.

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