Keeping the Peace With Your Co-Workers

“To be attached to one’s own happiness is a barrier to the true and perfect path. To cherish others is the source of every admirable quality known.” Tsongkhapa

In the workplace, we are dependent on each other to get the work done and must support each other in doing so. No one person can do it all, and our livelihood depends on the others. It doesn’t mean you have to like or hang out with each other, but creating a work environment in which everyone gets along and supports the work being done is vital.

In our tendency to see ourselves as separate from others, we overlook the struggles and mental sufferings of our co-workers. In a hostile environment, more than likely your co-workers’ outbursts have nothing at all to do with you, and are instead related to what is going on in their lives away from work. Your meditation practice can help you to see more clearly into the actions of your colleagues at work. It allows you to shift your perspective and consider…

How each person is unique and different.
Whether they are happy with their job.
Whether fear is driving their anger.
What is happening in their home life.

Finally, remember that they are spiritual beings, just like you. Buddhist nun and author, Pema Chodron writes about how we blame others based on our concepts of what is right or wrong. This erects a barrier that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others and not confronting our own culpability. We do this with our closest friends and family, with our government, with all kinds of things that we don’t like about our associates or our society. Chodron says that blaming others is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better. We are afraid to step forward and take responsibility for fear of feeling unstable and vulnerable. Blaming is a way to protect our hearts—what is soft and open and tender. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground.

If you are embroiled in an antagonistic relationship with a co-worker, make sure you take an honest look at how you are contributing to the conflict. The spiritual journey is not meant to be without bumps and mountains to climb. And just because you practice meditation doesn’t mean that you won’t experience conflict, anger, or resentment in your work or with your colleagues. On the contrary, conflict, anger, and resentment are the reality of human nature. It is how the mind handles these negative emotions that separates those who meditate from those who don’t meditate. Meditation helps you to break the cycle of your mental afflictions and surrender your attachment to being controlled by your emotions

When difficulties present themselves, whether in the form of a co-worker, a boss, your spouse, or the barking dog next door, they are all opportunities to put into practice what we awaken to on the meditation cushion. Notice what happens when you actually give thanks for the challenge and open your heart to compassion, generosity, patience, tolerance, and loving kindness.

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Akin A.

5:19AM PDT on Jul 24, 2011

Really interesting. Thank you.

send a green star

KrassiAWAY B.

3:53AM PDT on Jun 21, 2011

Noted with interest.

AnneMarie H.

7:15AM PDT on Jun 7, 2011

Hadn't ever thought of it that way.

Patricia G.

4:38AM PDT on Jun 3, 2011

Thank you.

Kate R.

8:37PM PDT on Jun 2, 2011

thanks, something i need to think about

CL L.

2:48PM PDT on Jun 1, 2011

Thank you now I have something to talk about at the water cooler and maybe we will be all in a better place.

Elizabeth B.

9:01AM PDT on May 30, 2011

thank you, i will use this info when i get a job (-: sometimes a think workplace emotional health is forgotten

Alexandra R.

12:50AM PDT on May 30, 2011

Who said "hell is other people"? Thanks for suggestions about how to cope with this.

Rita F.

11:15PM PDT on May 29, 2011

I like the thought and philosophy. I try to bring this to any work place I am responsible for, having said that, the responsibility also lies within others. To set a baseline so that people take responsibility for the workplace and its function is also needed. I find about 80% will work towards this process, cause after all, we do have to go to work and be in this environment for a big portion of our day. However, there is the other 20%. Sadly for them, I will deal with them on an individual situation, as they generally have their own agenda, and that equals....the ME concept. I am here to help them see the light if they disrupt the team or don't want to get on board for a cohesive team, well then, I am here to show them how they can exercise their options. If all people would follow this yes the world and the work world would be a better place.

Lynda G.

7:58PM PDT on May 29, 2011

In theory a great philosophy and one which has the power to change the world one person at a time, from within. If only all co-workers/bosses were of the same mind!

Sure it can work if you set up the environment carefully and don't have deadlines or require specific expertise and aren't in immediate comptetition. Running a company is way different from planning a commune for instance where all have a similar life philosophy.

Each employee has their own reasons for being there. Some just want their pay, others seek power, some are gaining experience whilst others just want to retain their power or position. Their workplace behaviour reflects personal goals over corporate (eg) ideals.

So it isn't always simple to deal with disharmony especially as people come and go and personalities which might have been included in the original workplace philosphy change over time.

Sometimes one really can't 'win' or overcome workplace dramas and it's better to move on to retain personal balance. My view from observing over the years anyway.