Letting Go Emotionally

Emotions are more stubborn than thoughts. The glue that holds you fast to your beliefs and expectations is emotion. Whenever you tell yourself that you can’t let go, you are making an emotional statement.

In reality you can let go of any situation any time. “I can’t” really means, “I fear the emotional consequences if I do.” Your ego draws a line in the sand and insists that you will not survive the inner feelings that will arise if the line is crossed.

A powerful limitation is being self-imposed here, and at bottom it isn’t true. You will survive any emotion; indeed, whatever you consider to be too much fear, too much loss, too much humiliation, too much disapproval, too much rejection has already happened.

You have crossed the line many times, otherwise you wouldn’t know where to draw it. What your ego is really saying is that you can’t cross the line again. From spirit’s point of view, however, you don’t have to.

There is a law in the unconscious that whatever you avoid will come back, and the more you avoid it, the stronger its return.

Painful emotions don’t come back for external reasons. They return because they are part of you; you created them before pushing them away. Every emotion you experience is yours.

We all make the mistake of believing that something “out there” makes us afraid, angry, depressed, anxious, and so on. In truth events “out there” are only triggers. The cause of every emotion is “in here,” which means that inner work can heal it.

Adapted from The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).

Read more: Spirit, Deepak Chopra's Tips, emotions

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Nichoel Z.

9:16PM PDT on May 30, 2011

This was exactly what I needed to read today :)

send a green star

Jewels S.

12:17AM PDT on Oct 23, 2010

I know that recently because of love I was able to suspend what my ego wants and my life has changed. I have felt stuck for a long time but crossing that line obviously trumped my ego and it stepped back. It has been a month and I felt after talking to a toxic family member the ego try to come back. I know what freedom feels like now. I never want to be at the end of my ego's puppet string again. I have studied DC for a long time and now I realize it is really my own fears keeping me back.

Ana B.

6:17PM PDT on Sep 29, 2010

Bob C. to say that we are more than animals creates a separation between ourselves & the natural world that we are part of...this is the ego part of us, the voice that says "we observe ourselves thus we are more than just merely animals". It is in the acceptance of our animals selves and even the ego (which is a human invention and step backwards that comes from observing ourselves) that we can find the flow that slowly and gently disconnects us from the fears that hold us back...its an interesting view but I think that anyone that's ever respectfully shared their life with any animal will clearly see that animals are very detached. Their detachment does not come from will or fear but from the understanding that they flow with the ALL and yet are separate from it, as well as the understanding that the ALL will continue and thus there is no fear of no longer being-which seems is a huge downfall to us human animals as we are hindered by our Observer. Its unfair to compare domesticated animals in this way since they are this way due to their connection with us- they traded their peace, freedom & detachment for comfort & safety- they, just like us are weakened by the systems we created to survive in a challenging environment. Animals respond to fear with fight or flight response as a means to self preservation & quickly recover to their prior state of detachment. My point is that within the animal part of ourselves is the antithesis to the drama that follows us (h

6:12PM PDT on Sep 29, 2010

Excellent explanation, thanks!

Past Member .

8:34PM PDT on Sep 28, 2010

We can make emotional changes. We can make choices to make emotional changes. We can be stronger than our strongest emotions. Many times these emotions are the results of training,upbringing and others imposing their emotions upon us. Therein lies the conflict. We may not share those same feelings but since they were imposed on us, we now have them. We can effectively deal with them, but it is not easy, nor should we expect it to be. It took years for us to get to this place in time, so we have learned to respond in certain ways to many emotional situations. We can unlearn and choose what is best for us.

Carolyn D.

2:11PM PDT on Sep 28, 2010

Good article

Bob C.

8:03AM PDT on Sep 27, 2010

@Kay: "Also, implying that emotions can be controlled by will-power alone is unrealistic and simplistic. Because if will-power was enough, most persons would never end up in a state controlled by their emotions."

I don't disagree with that, and I don't think Deepak Chopra would either!

The term "will power" suggests a strong, emotion-driven impulse: "I WILL do it, I WILL do it!" Raw grit, animal determination. Bullet-biting and perseverance. But we are more than merely animals, are we not?

The animal side of us generates both will-power and fear. I do not mean to dishonor it at all because it effectively channels the Life Force and is an essential source of great energy.

The Spiritual side is characterized by both great creativity and dispassionate acceptance. It is The Observer within us, the One who seeks wisdom and eschews making judgments.

Letting-go emotionally is indeed beyond the capacity of the animal side of us (ego) acting alone. Emotions may eventually fade on their own or may be displaced by other emotions, but ego is relatively helpless just to dispel them. Deepak himself suggests this: "There is a law in the unconscious that whatever you avoid will come back, and the more you avoid it, the stronger its return."

Spirit (soul) on the other hand is not bound by emotion at all.

The "inner work" to which Deepak alludes involves shifting focus from ego to Spirit. With the Soul's help we are not helpless, not even in the face of terror.