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Enjoy the Ride
In practical terms surrender means letting go. Although you don’t realize it, reality isn’t a given. Each of us inhabits a separate reality. Your mind maintains your personal version of reality by buttressing it with beliefs, expectations, and interpretations. Your mind blocks the free flow of the life force by saying, “This is how things must and should be.” Letting go releases you from this insistent grip, and when you let go, new forms of reality can enter.
You only have to take a ride on a roller coaster to see who gets more enjoyment out of the experience–those who clutch tight with white knuckles and clenched jaws or those who let go and allow themselves to be carried up and down without resistance.
Letting go is a process. You have to know when to apply it, what to let go of, and how to let go. Your mind is not going to show you any of these things; worse still, your ego is going to try to prevent you from making progress, since it believes that you have to hold on in order to survive. Your only ally in letting go is spirit, which sees reality as a whole and therefore has no need to create partial realities based on limitation.
The whole path to love could be described as learning to let go, but letting go all at once isn’t possible. This is a path of many small steps. At any given moment the steps are basically the same: Awareness begins to substitute for reactions. A reaction is automatic; it draws upon fixed beliefs and expectations, images of past pain and pleasure residing in memory, waiting to guide you in future situations. Memory has told you, in a fraction of a second, that your reaction to, say, a big dog, should be fear.
Overcoming this or any reaction requires an act of awareness. Awareness doesn’t resist the imprint of memory. It goes into it and questions whether you need it now. In the face of a big dog, awareness tells you that you aren’t a small child anymore and that not all big dogs bite. Being aware of this, you can ask if you need to hold on to fear. Whether you wind up petting the dog, ignoring it, or withdrawing is now a matter of choice. Reactions result in a closed set of options; awareness results in an open set of options.
Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. The past is closed and limited; the future is open and free.
Adapted from The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).
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6 comments
add your comment »I think if you were to ask her to earn what you give her might show her that you have to work for what you want. Even if the only work is volunteering. Have her sign up to help those less fortunate and then present you with the amount of hours. Pay her an hourly wage for hours worked. This will also allow her to see how she might end up, (say a soup kitchen) if she doesn't learn to depend on herself more. Tell her it is for her own good in case something happens to you. Also do what my father does. He will not lend again unless he is paid in full. He says pay back the bank and the bank will always be there. Have her sign a contract to repay you. You'll be doing her a favor in the long run.
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Mary, I agree with mercy. Sometimes, even love can be tough as we are placed in positions to make decisions we would prefer to by-pass. But if we can move past the present, and take a glimpse of the greater good, then tough love is worth the effort, and the pain that sometimes come along with it.
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Mary everything will be in order soon. God will help you.
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I have had awareness for a long time that I have to let go of picking up the pieces of my daughters' choices. I have the "what it is" down pat. The questions I need answered is "when to apply and how"?
I know I'm not helping her in the long run yet, the uncomfortability I go through every time something else goes wrong in her life overwhelms me along with the fear of where she will end up if I don't help her, so I find myself doing the same thing again. 99% of the help I give her is financial, and I have many justifications. I just don't know which are good and which ones are unhealthy. I ask my higher power every day to specifically remove my fear as it is an obstacle to my freedom and serenity. My higher power has worked miracles in other areas of my life and I do believe my higher power will take care of us all with regards to this specific matter as well. At the same time, I need so much help. I wish I had a physical being next to me every time my daughter needed financial help so that they could tell her "sorry, but no" & stick to it, no matter what she comes back with. I have been raising her alone for 19 years, she is 22 now. I have gotten better, but like they say, little children, little problems, big children, bigger problems; although I may have gotten better, I still have a long way to go. I want my daughter to be independent and successful and I know there is a better way for her to achieve this than me doing it my way. Please help me.
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Indeed, just as in dancing, we don't dance to get to a certain part of the floor or to call others' attention, we dance because we want to enjoy. In life as we face challenges, we should not be afraid of the "turns and twists", we offer everything to God. Clutching on with fear is giving in to ourselves and our reactions, we must remember that GOd will take charge of everything.... our life is : from Him, for Him, by Him and through Him. Amen.
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"...Your ego is going to try to prevent you from making progress...Spirit sees reality as a whole...has no need to create partial realities based on limitation..." How beautiful. For me, "Spirit" refers to God, through the Son, Jesus Christ. "Ego" is the entity that needs to be tamed. Oh, how I needed this message, today. Thank you.
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