Haven’t we watched enough spy movies to know that living a double life is exhausting?
My Life-Answers daily forecast for today is this: Turn your attention to personal interests. An aspect of living which you have been ignoring needs to be renewed. Rise above an emotional state to see that the turns in your life constantly require changes in perspective from the knowledge you’ve gained. Only the negative leads a double life, pretending to be happy when in truth is not. Why pretend when you can have the real thing?
It struck me because just last night I spoke with Gena Kirby of Progressive Parenting about how so many women seem to be living a fractured existence. It was the first session of a very public, and incredibly personal, collaboration where Gena is taking my Sick of Being Stuck (SOBS) class, plus having a private session each week, with the entire experience broadcast live on her Blog Talk Radio show.
It is an incredibly bold move, being willing to give anyone and everyone access to her inner world in this way. She is doing it because she wants the women in her community to know that everybody has baggage that needs to be tended, and that it’s okay to get the support you need to heal.
We talked about the cause of the split between our thinking selves and our feeling selves. It is pain, the heartbreaks and fears of the past. As I’ve said before, every tear you never cried is waiting for you… and they are heavy. And I’m not talking about the horrible stories we can find on the evening news. Regular kid heartaches count, too.
It’s the kinds of trauma that, if we had everything we needed to process the experience, would have healed without leaving behind this untended baggage. But lots of us didn’t; the supports available today were not as accessible then. Most of the women I work with weren’t empowered to heal from those wounds back in the day, so recovery is a thing that comes later in life, when we realize that our reality has been altered by what happened in the past.
We wake up one day and realize that our true selves would never be in a relationship like this, or treat our bodies like this, or make a living like this. We have a certainty that reality, as it’s rushing about us every day, isn’t the life we were born to live. This chaos, this overwhelm, this anxiety isn’t true for us, and yet, we are living it every single day.
Our collaboration is about cultivating freedom: the freedom to live the beautiful, powerful, abundant life that is true for Gena. Her motivation is the same as every other woman who has taken a class, read a life-changing book, hired a therapist or life coach, or joined a gym. It’s about saying, “This reality isn’t the life I was created for. I want my healthy body, creative spirit, and inquisitive mind. I want work that is meaningful. I want my days filled with people and activities that I feel passionate about. I want to be living my life.”
Once we realize we aren’t there, that this isn’t how we wanted life to be, we need to make changes to cultivate a different result. Sometimes they are huge, life-altering changes but not always. Most of the time, it’s a bunch of little shifts created over time as new information and new opportunities present themselves to us.
The key, of course, is having the courage to say yes to the invitations when they come. Otherwise, we have to wait until it makes a second, third, or fourth pass. In my world, those invitations seem to gain momentum with each trip back into my experience. Now, I try to listen for the whispers because a brick-to-the-back-of-the-head approach the fourth time around really sucks.
The challenge is saying yes to the investment in self. And yes, that part can seem so hard. It costs money to join a gym, time to learn a new way of eating, and energy to pursue your passions. And those are resources that work, children, and partners usually occupy. Often, when we’re living this splintered experience, we feel that we cannot afford to invest the dollars in our new way of being. We think we don’t have the time to add personal evolution to our agenda. And energy… well, that may be the hardest one of all.
The class Gena is taking has a daily reading and a challenge, plus one group call once each week. The daily challenge is relatively simple, like releasing 27 items that no longer serve you from your bedroom closet. And even in a class like this, one that is specifically designed for people who already feel overwhelmed, it’s easy to think you can’t handle adding something new to the daily mix. I get that. Honestly, I do. But, and certainly you can see this coming, what other option do we have here?
If the action we’ve been taking results in this reality, aren’t we going to have to take different action if we want a different result?
We know what Gena and the rest of my people want, but what do you want? What is going on in your world that sucks? Why are you here reading all of these articles about how to change your life? Is there a change you’re ready to make? What are you going to do about it? What are the actions you can take today, tomorrow, and the next day that will result in the freedom you desire? Are you ready to commit? Put it in the comments below, or you can email me through my website below.
You can do this. Yes, I’m sure.