Haven’t we watched enough spy movies to know that living a double life is exhausting?
My Life-Answers daily forecast for today is this: Turn your attention to personal interests. An aspect of living which you have been ignoring needs to be renewed. Rise above an emotional state to see that the turns in your life constantly require changes in perspective from the knowledge you’ve gained. Only the negative leads a double life, pretending to be happy when in truth is not. Why pretend when you can have the real thing?
It struck me because just last night I spoke with Gena Kirby of Progressive Parenting about how so many women seem to be living a fractured existence. It was the first session of a very public, and incredibly personal, collaboration where Gena is taking my Sick of Being Stuck (SOBS) class, plus having a private session each week, with the entire experience broadcast live on her Blog Talk Radio show.
It is an incredibly bold move, being willing to give anyone and everyone access to her inner world in this way. She is doing it because she wants the women in her community to know that everybody has baggage that needs to be tended, and that it’s okay to get the support you need to heal.
We talked about the cause of the split between our thinking selves and our feeling selves. It is pain, the heartbreaks and fears of the past. As I’ve said before, every tear you never cried is waiting for you… and they are heavy. And I’m not talking about the horrible stories we can find on the evening news. Regular kid heartaches count, too.
It’s the kinds of trauma that, if we had everything we needed to process the experience, would have healed without leaving behind this untended baggage. But lots of us didn’t; the supports available today were not as accessible then. Most of the women I work with weren’t empowered to heal from those wounds back in the day, so recovery is a thing that comes later in life, when we realize that our reality has been altered by what happened in the past.
We wake up one day and realize that our true selves would never be in a relationship like this, or treat our bodies like this, or make a living like this. We have a certainty that reality, as it’s rushing about us every day, isn’t the life we were born to live. This chaos, this overwhelm, this anxiety isn’t true for us, and yet, we are living it every single day.