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Making Love/Clarifying Values

Making Love/Clarifying Values

Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value. ~Albert Einstein

The true test of our life is whether we go to bed at the close of each day and know that we have done as much good as possible and that we have followed our instincts towards our sense of self respect instead of self interest. This seems like it should be a clearly demarcated path, but these instincts are easy to confuse. Driven by needs–whether emotional or material, can rationalize many behaviors, that if pressed we would find impossible to justify to our own hearts. Just read a few pages of the newspaper and this is the storyline that dominates not just how many businesses drive themselves into the ground, but even the stalemates that we call governing of late.

Abraham Lincoln said his religion was based on this:“When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad.” It seems almost too arcane to build a life around, but valuing our moral compass is not all that old fashioned after all. This begs the question of whether character can be trained as we train our intellect. I believe, as Emerson did that “Character is higher than intellect” and that like intellect it can be cultivated throughout life.

Things at Good Clean Love are clarifying my values in ways that I wouldn’t have anticipated. I guess that is what happens when they are tested. I began with a mission of increasing the awareness and experience of love in the world without much clarity about what that meant or looked like. Over the years, our natural and organic intimacy products have helped many people feel the love in their life. Our products are great, the best ever, but what makes them love products is how you choose to use them. This emphasis on the love is what really makes our products different from the rest.

I have been told that this is not a viable mission. The new proposed mission should be separate from the mission of love I was told. The products are great regardless of what or how you choose to use them. Adding the love part made it too inaccessible for too many… here was the essential disagreement over the brand that created a split too large to bridge.

I used to teach a career workshop where I would go through many exercises with clients to help them identify their values. I was often surprised at how few and far between were our tested values and for most people they were the same. Family, friends, self respect–these were the things over and over again that people said they would risk their lives over. Loving relationships in the last breath of life is what we are here for, and today I can tell you without a shadow of doubt that Good Clean Love exists to make love more accessible to as many people as possible. Yes, we sell love products for intimacy, but why not choose making love over having sex? It is what we really want anyway.

Read more: Inspiration, Love, Relationships, Sex, Spirit, Wendy's Positivity Quest, ,

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


+ add your own
6:03AM PDT on May 4, 2011

Thanks for the article.

10:53PM PST on Feb 17, 2011

Intresting, thanks xxx

5:38PM PST on Dec 21, 2010

taboo/delicate subject that needs to be addressed because most parents don't talk about it and you have to wait till you get married to know about and what it's like if it's good or bad....

3:46AM PST on Dec 19, 2010

Love is doing, an action, not a feeling. We need to realize this if we are to make this a better world. Saying we "love" someone or something is useless unless we proactively make that thing better because of you being involved.

1:25AM PST on Dec 11, 2010

Some interesting points spoiled a little later by "blowing your own horn."

6:44AM PST on Dec 7, 2010


6:41AM PST on Dec 7, 2010


12:47AM PST on Dec 7, 2010


9:33PM PST on Dec 6, 2010

thanks for the article.

6:28PM PST on Dec 6, 2010

Making love means creating love, often by doing nice things for each other, which can mean doing nice things for oneself at the same time, through sex. Why not spread such feeling to everyone?

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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