http://www.care2.com/greenliving/million-dollar-babies-scaling-back-on-baby-gear.html
Million Dollar Babies: Scaling Back on Baby Gear
When I was first wrestling with the concept behind this blog, I kept coming back to the idea of what the real costs were in raising a child. Not so much the bottom line cash amount needed to be dispensed in order to get your child from diapers to diploma, but the larger social, environmental, and consumer expense that went hand in hand with bringing an additional life into this world. How, as conscientious consumers could we justify the impact one person has on the limited resources of the planet with our breeding imperative? Maybe love conquers all, and maybe there is just a little switch in our brains that conveniently moves to the “standby” position long enough for us to do what needs to be done to facilitate the arrival of another human to walk the earth and breathe the air. It is hard to know, and maybe it is not the most important questions to be asking ourselves.
But I have a number for you: $221,190. This is the most recent estimate from the US Department of Agriculture outlining a definitive price or expenditure required to raise a child through high school (it is actually $291,570 when adjusted for inflation). Mind you, this is very much an average, if not a conservative, approximation and doesn’t take into account your dedication to organic food, non-toxic toys, and violin lessons. This is the sort of figure that reveals what sort of cash you will need for the basics: food, shelter, safety, clothes, education, transportation, health care, entertainment, etc.
This particular cost, because of its relatively conservative estimate, doesn’t wholly reflect a relatively new recession era trend that has seen formerly consumer intensive parents (especially new parents) scale back to a more frugal and pragmatic reality. Gone are the days of proving your love (or your personal shopper savvy) with imported $1000 European strollers, and designer baby gear, and here we have arrived in the days of second hand items and Craigslist finds. “The recession has liberated us from a lot of the consumer expectations so that we can have a big enough space to feel really comfortable just giving our kids a pot and a spoon,” said Robbie Blinkoff in a New York Times article from July, who works as a cultural anthropologist at Context-Based Research Group, an ethnographic marketing research firm in Baltimore.
This is undoubtedly leveling the playing field for many, otherwise, competitive parents as well as confounding and severely frustrating retailers who depend upon that keeping up with the Joneses attitude that had been pervasive for so long.
So are the limitations and confines of a tight budget freeing you up to not care about some of the things you may have poured over two years ago? Is this assuredly a good thing that we have become a parental society able to detach from rampant consumerism and able to embrace the sensibility of penny pinchers? Is raising a child just too much money, no matter how you look at it?
I would love to hear your thoughts, and please feel free to put in your two-cents (or maybe just a penny–times are tight).
Eric Steinman is a freelance writer based in Rhinebeck, N.Y. He regularly writes about food, music, art, architecture and culture and is a regular contributor to Bon Appétit among other publications.
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add your comment »I'm 6 months pregnant with my first child and by far the most confusing and stressful part of it all so far is my husband and I trying to sift through the hoards of things baby books, magazines, and websites are telling us we need to figure out what is truely necessary. I wish there was a guide to having a baby and raising children in a simplier manner.
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I've always been a penny pincher, so this is no difference. If anything, other people are giving me more acceptance/permission to ask for things like hand-me-downs, fabric diapers, and NOT having them go out and buy-buy-buy for my new baby. And I have MORE than I did for my first baby, not less. :) I am THRILLED!!!
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Good for you, Jessica, that you at tried... It is possible that you could have continued, because I had the same thing with my first baby - and some simple herbal remedies to help with milk supply, plus people doing LOTS for me (like making sure that mom eats and drinks... LOL) made a real difference.
I also credit a local breastfeeding clinic, run by a doctor who had nursed 4 kids herself, with ensuring that I got good help and that I knew that I really *could*. Many of us have never seen someone breastfeed, so we don't actually realize that we can. We also aren't prepared for the reality! I figured out (with the help of the clinic) that I had to nurse more frequently to keep supply up and keep baby happy - and that worked great.
However, I fully applaud any woman who has tried to nurse... I weaned my oldest much younger than I would have wanted to, because I didn't have the right advice...! With my youngest, we nursed for 30 months... much to the health benefit of both of us. (Breastfeeding is just as good for mom as baby, given how you can reduce your chances of all sorts of things, including cancer of the breast and cancer of the reproductive system...)
In any case, every mother - every parent - does the best they can at the time, and we all learn and change.... and being aware of how we consume is a part of that! I'm now focusing on second hand stuff - it helps a lot if we just stop buying new and stop consuming resources. Re-use is one of the 3R's after all..
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My husband and I were just having this discussion the other night. I said to him the cost of having our daughter, 7 months, on us at least, has been relatively minimal. The most expenses we've had is formula and diapers. All the baby equipment we have was either bought for us or has been handed down, which I will then hand on to the next baby in our family. That system has worked out great for us. On the whole, I largely agree with what has been said here, but one point made by Moniquelise, is that babies would prefer breast over bottle, so parents can avoid the expense of bottles. I would agree with that, mostly. I breast fed my daughter for the first month and then switched because the stress and the pressure to make sure she was getting enough food was too much. I'd had a very difficult delivery ending in emergency c-section where I lost a lot of blood. I was exhausted and her constant crying for me was pushing me over the edge. There was not a whole lot my husband or mother or family could do for me. It was on me to feed her. It was a difficult and hard decision for me to switch, but I did. And within a week or so she just stopped crying, stopped fussing, and started sleeping longer hours through the night. It was better for everyone involved. So, being economical and as green as possible, is good yes, but don't push yourself into a mold you don't fit into. My baby and I are happier for it. And I can be a much better mom to her when I'm not frustrated with her and myself.
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My two cents is that we need to stop breeding for awhile; the world is far too overpopulated. The added bonus of this, as the article illustrates, is we will also be saving a ton of money as well as helping our ailing planet.
If you want a kid now, adopt. That's what my husband and I plan to do. There are plenty of children out there right now that need safe and loving homes.
peace.
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So far folks are talking about babies ... children are babies for only a short time. Then the cost really soars - and I'm not talking about *stuff*. School supplies; music or art lessons (no longer provided via public school tax dollars folks!); summer camps & day care (or equivalent salary sacrifice to stay home); medical care; college ...
My daughter is leaving for college next week to the tune of $38,000 per year * 4 years. She will be in debt approx $100K at the end. It's a state school, we just don't happen to live in that state so our cost is 3x the residents cost. How is that reasonable? Is it fair to expect her to choose a local school when this one has the specific program she needs to pursue her ambition/career dreams?
I think the number is way too low. It is lacking serious consideration of cost burdens shifting from employer benefit programs and government subsidies to middle class individuals. Our taxes have not proportionately decreased over time - they have increased.
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I am a grandmother with another grandchild expected in Feb. Of course we are happy to be grandparents a second time, but I have mixed feelings about this so here goes.
We do not need more humans on out planet right now. Being aware that our species will cease to exist if we do not reproduce, still, we could probably hold off on that for several years. That being said, when my husband and were raising our kids we did not have a lot of money. Consequently, we were pretty frugal - most of what my children had were hand me downs or shower gifts. Today an approved carseat costs hundreds of dollars. Our children do not need all these things-we need to look at what kind of adults they are becoming - need I say more?
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I found that wearing baby in a sling was the easiest way to breastfeed while attending to other tasks such as grocery shopping. I discovered that washing cloth diapers was NOT an overwhelming unmanageable chore. The most difficult thing about raising my children was masking my disappointment when "gifted" the plethora of plastic toys and paraphernalia. What I really needed was someone to help me with housekeeping (where to put all this baby stuff?) and meal prep. The offers to babysit were silly, as I was committed to solely breastfeeding. I found solace in the new friends I made in the "green" community who shared my philosophy that "less is more."
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I wish it would come back to the day that parents didn't compete...children had a ball with the pot and wooden spoon! They used their imagination to play post office, school, and store keeper. Sure, at times, I wished I could have given my children more of the monetary items, but I wouldn't trade any of their creativity for it.
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Don't forget to pass the toys on to other family members!
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