By Polly Parker, DivineCaroline
Non-monogamy is about one thing–sex. And sex is good. And sex with different people–either concurrently or over the course of a lifetime–is good too. Sex is so good that some people are addicted to it. Sex makes people do crazy things and it makes people feel amazing things. I love it just as much as anyone else, but there is more to life than sex.
I am pretty sure that the words on your deathbed won’t be “I wish I had had more sex with more people.” Maybe if you are a pervert, or if you didn’t get much action in your life, you would say that, but most people wouldn’t. Most people would say that they would have spent more time with their families, or that they wished they had worked less. They want more time with their wives, or they regret not pursuing a dream. Unless someone is being a smartass on his deathbed, he’s not going to even think about sex when his number’s up.
I live in San Francisco. Non-monogamy (or polyamory as it is called here) is a big topic in the city. Out here, everybody’s doing it. And if everyone is doing it here, then it’s probably already in or coming to a town near you.
Here’s the definition of monogamy:
1 archaic : the practice of marrying only once during a lifetime 2 : the state or custom of being married to one person at a time 3 : the condition or practice of having a single mate during a period of time
Notice anything? Right off the bat, Webster’s is linking monogamy to marriage, and they should, because monogamy comes from monos (alone, single) + gamos (marriage). Monogamy used to be about being with one person forever, and now it’s been updated to mean the state or “custom” of being married to one person at a time. The logical opposite of monogamy is polygamy, being married to more than one person at a time, and not very many people (publicly) support that.