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Overcome a Short Temper

Overcome a Short Temper

Even the most patient and mild-mannered of us can often find our tempers frayed at holiday time. But many people have a short fuse at the best of times.

Here is a tip for identifying what is usually the source of a short temper, and an excellent helpful hint for overcoming it.

Short tempers are often the result of perfectionism and anxiety. (For some help letting go of perfectionism during the holidays, see Transcend the Need for Perfection This Holiday Season.)

Here is the most important antidote to a short temper:

Be aware that you are not perfect.

Short-tempered people look for the same high standards and perfectionism in others as well as in themselves. As a result, they anger easily and are always on edge. For this kind of person, it is important to realize the true nature of humankind; they need to understand that they themselves are not perfect. If they are incapable of realizing this, they will be given opportunities to allow them to come to this conclusion as a result of external events. Something is sure to happen to wound their pride.

Perfectionists dream of doing things perfectly, and often they have succumbed to the illusion that they themselves are indeed perfect. In other words, they are people who aim for things that it is beyond their ability to attain. The higher they reach, the more pain they will feel when they fall. When something occurs to teach them that they are not perfect, the shock affects them deeply. It may be the result of some personal failure, or they may have this experience through receiving help from other people in a time of illness or some other misfortune. This mind of experience will allow them to realize their own imperfections. Some kind of failure will occur to make them see they are not perfect, resulting in their becoming kinder to others.

Read more: Spirit, Guidance, Self-Help

Adapted from Tips to Find Happiness, by Ryuho Okawa (Lantern Books, 2004). Copyright (c) 2004 by Ryuho Okawa. Reprinted by permission of Lantern Books.
Adapted from Tips to Find Happiness, by Ryuho Okawa (Lantern Books, 2004).

Annie B. Bond

Annie is a renowned expert in non-toxic and green living. Named one of the top 20 environmental leaders by Body and Soul Magazine, Annie has authored four books, including "Home Enlightenment" (Rodale Press, 2005) and "Better Basics for the Home" (Three Rivers Press, 1999).

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5 comments

+ add your own
8:24AM PDT on Aug 9, 2011

This is very good information. If one can not relate. One should hold their peace, and avoid negative reaction. Peace n Love Thanks for posting this

6:01AM PST on Jan 30, 2011

ok, by telling people they are narcissistic and conceited you are helping them fugure out a way to not have such a short temper yeah ok i get it thanks a bunch i'll be sure to drag my self esteem in the mud every once in a while

8:12PM PDT on Aug 5, 2010

noted perfection out the window...

4:39AM PDT on May 7, 2010

thanks

5:34AM PDT on May 6, 2010

Anger Management works Miracles:-)

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Taking things a bit too far.

What ever it is I think the words are just so beautiful, and oh so true. Thanks for sharing

Suzanne L. In about twenty years from now this womanchild will see the wisdom of her dad's actions. …

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