Sometimes someone hits an insecurity we have and invokes anger, sadness, or some other feeling; when that happens, we must always remember that anything we feel is okay. But we do have the opportunity to control how we respond: it is the action we take that counts. Our jailer, reactivity, is also our path to freedom. By acknowledging our reactivity and how we maintain our dramas, we have the opportunity to examine, and ultimately let go of, the negative core beliefs that empower them.

This questionnaire will help you to learn more about your own ways of reacting. It can help us to respond to situations instead of blindly reacting to them. In responding, we are aware of ourselves, any reactive emotions we might be feeling, and the reality of the situation at hand. It is about making choices instead of reacting. How do you react? What triggers you? Look at the questionnaire here:

1. What circumstances can really get you upset or cause you to emotionally shut down?

2. What specific things can another human being do or say (short of physical harm) in order to immediately frustrate you or hurt your feelings?

3. What everyday circumstances make you tense, upset, or angry?

4. How often do you blame others for how you feel?

5. How often do you have emotional reactions “just because,” with no real understanding of why you reacted?

6. Do you simply accept that this reactivity is part of who you are?

7. Have you ever questioned the reasoning behind your actions?

Check out this helpful book for more ways of thinking about responding rather than reacting. The life you change may be your own!