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Recovering From an Affair

Recovering From an Affair

There may be no bigger paradigm shift in a long-term relationship than the discovery or disclosure of an affair. Listen as Dr. Tammy Nelson explains the healing and recovery process after infidelity, that has the power to bring love back into focus and redefine the erotic agreements defining your monogamy.  Tammy brings her unique and in depth insights to creating a new level of empathy and connection in your relationships.  As a certified trainer in Imago Therapy, her work with couples brings them the opportunity to give meaning and new intimate connections in their relationship.

Tammy is a Board Certified Sexologist, an AASECT certified Sex Therapist, a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexology, a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Certified Imago Therapist, an Advanced Clinician in Imago Relationship therapy, an Imago workshop presenter, a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor and a Registered Art Therapist.  She is the author of several books including, “Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together” as well as “What’s Eating You?  A Workbook for Anorexia and Bulimia.” She has been a featured expert in Glamour Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Mens Health and a source in Time Magazine. Tammy gives workshops and seminars and trains therapists around the world on issues relating to sex and relationships.

Don’t give up on your relationship until after you have listened to this show.  It will surprise you.

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Read more: Ask the Loveologist, Love, Relationships, Sex, Spirit

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.

25 comments

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11:40PM PDT on Apr 12, 2013

TY

7:03PM PST on Feb 11, 2012

I think the reason people cheat is they get married too young without sampling enough people.
Both men and women should have sex with a lot of people until they find the right fit. Otherwise
they will always "wonder" and when an opportunity arises they will cheat. People who have an
extremely strong bond at the very start will not cheat. But only 1 million out of 310 million people ever find their "soulmate".

7:06PM PDT on Aug 31, 2011

I have been cheated on and after you have been betrayed, the trust is gone. That doubt is always there. My problem is trusting the man I'm with, even though he has done nothing to betray my trust. My ex and my estranged husband both cheated, and it is hard to move on from that

11:04AM PDT on Aug 31, 2011

Personally, I would never be able to trust my partner again if he had cheated. And without trust in a relationship, there is nothing.
I know people say that until one is in that situation, one cannot say definitely how one would react. I'm afraid I DO know how I'd react. I would find it impossible to trust again, forgive, or forget.

4:57PM PDT on Aug 30, 2011

Either your word is worth something, or it's not worth anything. If one promises to be faithful, and then breaks that promise, they've shown that their word is worth nothing. Once they've done that, how is their spouse ever supposed to trust them again? I can understand how someone could love their spouse so much that they decide to remain with them after being the victim of an affair. But I can't see how they could ever trust them again. (I can't listen to the show -- it says "file not found".) From my experience, Jerika B is right -- "Once a cheater, always a cheater".

8:33AM PDT on Aug 29, 2011

Cheating = DEALBREAKER, period.
Cheating = lying.... I don't know how some couples can get over that.

I didn't and I still haven't.

6:48PM PDT on Aug 28, 2011

Well this is a touchy subject. Everyone is different, so reactions to an affair would be quite varied. Personally, that would result in the end of the relationship. My fiance and I have discussed this, we're both in agreement. I know I'd be able to forgive him one day, but I just could not continue with the relationship, perhaps we could be friends eventually, but nothing more. Cheating for me signifies the loss of respect for your partner and will completely wipe out trust. Without those 2 very important things, you don't have a solid base for your relationship. And I'm not the type of person who gives trust back easily once someone has lost it (same can be said for respect). Even if by some miracle we did stay together it would probably literally take 20 yrs or so for me to almost fully trust him again and even then I'd have doubts and second guess myself. That's not how I'd want to live my life and certainly not the life I'd ever want him to have.

8:49PM PDT on Aug 27, 2011

The worse part for the cheated-on partner is the lying. Being honest and telling your spouse is the very least you can do. i know from first-hand experience.

1:33PM PDT on Aug 27, 2011

Once a cheater always a cheater.

10:21AM PDT on Aug 27, 2011

thanks

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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