Should Children Be Treated More Like Dogs?

Soon after I graduated into parenthood, I found myself deep into casual party conversation with fellow parents about the vexing particulars of parenting. People (parents and strangers included) are rarely shy about dispensing a bit of wise parental advice, and this party was no exception. Beleaguered parents were brimming with tips and tricks as how to get your child to sleep through the night, stop crying, etc. The most intriguing comments came from a couple that had loads of experience with both large and small animals alike (one was a veterinarian and the other raised horses). Their conviction, in short, was that much of what they learned raising, herding, and caring for animals could, and should, be applied to raising children. The gasps and chuckles that met this confession were plenty, and became the fodder for many subsequent jokes at the party.

But, as much as I might not have been convinced, these two were obviously on to something. As is evidenced by a New York Times article from a few years back that outlined the growing trend around people taking Dog Whisperer tactics and applying them to the raising of their children. For those of you unaware or confused about what exactly a “dog whisperer” might be (full confession: I have never actually seen the show – just read an awful lot about it), The Dog Whisperer is a TV show that is hosted by, and essentially is, Cesar Millan (a self-proclaimed and plainly evident dog guru). I won’t get into the specifics of the show (feel free to follow up yourself) but essentially Millan employs a pack mentality (where he is the obvious leader) and provides three essentials for his dogs: exercise, discipline and affection. These Dog Whispering tactics are quickly being adopted by parents and fast becoming child whispering tactics.

Ideas like this, containing the holy trinity of behavioral rules, and easy-to-follow guidelines are like crack for confused and confounded parents. But really, how much are we to gain by treating our children like dogs and positioning ourselves at the head of the pack? Is it such a crazy idea that it just might work? Is it demeaning and an oversimplification of human behavior? Could these Dog Whispering ideas be applied to a larger world? Global conflicts? Corporate malfeasance?

Would love to hear some of your whispering wisdom.

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Teresa W.

4:42AM PDT on May 13, 2012

Should they be kept in kennels and fed dog food?

send a green star

LMj S.

1:15PM PDT on Mar 28, 2012

interesting, thank you....

Hilary E.

5:30PM PDT on Mar 13, 2012

I wouldn't treat my dog the way most people treat their children.

Water B.

3:40PM PST on Mar 4, 2012

We're people, not dogs. We have feelings and children are not suppose to obey every word they are told. I don't know about you, but no kid or any human-being should have to respond to a whistle. It's just bad skills to teach. Because then, your kids will grow up to be defensive and incapable of defending themselves

Rebecca F.

9:09AM PST on Mar 1, 2012

thnx

Carrie Anne B.

9:00AM PST on Feb 2, 2012

thanks for sharing

Anne P.

4:21PM PST on Jan 30, 2012

I've always been uncomfortable with "the dog whisperer" approach, primarily because the underlying role the owner/trainer plays is one of "alpha" or dominance. I have lived with friends how had their dog trained using the dog whisperer methods and the outcome was sad: his spirit was broken and he became even more fearful and nervous than was before the training.

Instead, I would urge anyone inclined to look to the Dog Whisperer methods for parenting instruction, to rent the movie, "Buck", 2011. He is the real-life horse whisperer who assisted Robert Redford in his starring role in "Horse Whisperer", 1998).

Buck exhibits a level of intense presence and gentleness I've seldom seen in anyone -- with horses or people. his horses, and with people -- to instill trust in him. Watching him work with horses and the results he achieves is truly powerful.

I believe the qualities this rare individual applied in his work with horses, are perfect for anyone striving to be a good parent, providing love, guidance, and exercise -- qualities that would also serve us well in all our important relationships.

One of the first scholars of parenting styles, psychologist Diana Baumrind conducted extensive observations of parent child relationships, which led to her identifying four basic parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, indulgent, and neglectful. Wikipedia has an excellent summary, at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles.

Baumrind and other develo

Jess S.

11:25AM PST on Jan 30, 2012

As a horse trainer and parent I can definitely see the analogy. If you want your horse to do a certain task you need to make it uncomfortable for the animal to *not* do the task. Similarly, my kids find it very uncomfortable to *not* take the recycling out. After awhile they do the task immediately without hesitation.
Same works for bad behavior. Responding quickly and appropriately with an uncomfortable "punishment" makes both humans and horses less likely to make the same mistake next time.
With both animals and children CONSISTENCY is the single most important attribute you can have. We have all seen parents threaten their children over and over but never follow through. Making that mistake even once can undo weeks of "training" of both children and horses!

9:34AM PST on Jan 30, 2012

I think that the problem is with how the analogy is used. Training children should not be compared with training dogs, even tho the methods may be the same. Dogs are mammals & so are humans. So there will be many similarities when it comes to the two. We feed dogs, we also feed children. We wash/clean dogs, we also wash/clean children. We give medication to dogs & care for hem when they are sick, we do the same for our children.

And the list goes on. This is just how all mammals are. We take care of our young. In fact I say mammals but we know that practically all living creatures do this. And training a child is just one of the many things that all creatures do & which similaritie exist.

What I dont care for is the leash for children. I see quite a few people have their child attached to a leash when they are outdoors, & it looks too dog-like.

Joe R.

9:31AM PST on Jan 30, 2012

Seems kind of silly.