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Should Mom Be Living Alone?

The problem is that so many people never get up the nerve to broach such a sensitive subject, or every time they try, the parent gets mad, goes into denial, makes silly “senior moment” jokes, and nothing ever gets resolved. If this sounds like your situation and you’ve been procrastinating and avoiding “The Conversation,” realize that when your parent does reach the crisis point and you have to step in, you have a lot of “convincing time” ahead of you. (Having “The Talk” About End-of-Life With Mom or Dad)

Will Your Elderly Parents Be Safe Living Alone?

Take a moment and remember when you were the child. Wouldn’t your parent have done everything in their power to keep you safe, no matter how much you protested? Now, as hard as it is, you have to accept the role reversal and be the responsible “parent” who persists in making sure your parent is safe. And yes, even for those who have not been great parents, do the right thing and plan for good karma!

When you know in your heart that your parent cannot remain safely in their home any longer, don’t let demands and pleas cloud your better judgment. You know what they need, so don’t end up a sad statistic by waiting for the heart-breaking middle-of-the-night crisis call about a broken hip, medicine overdose, stroke, or horrific car accident where they have been hurt or even killed, or some poor innocent family has been–and a lawsuit is certain.

Reach for Support ASAP

Be sure to ask all the relatives, friends, clergy, healthcare professionals/doctors to back up your specific plans by calling or coming in-person to see your parent to add words of encouragement and support. You might even ask everyone to visit at the same time to help with an intervention of sorts, where hopefully your parent finally understands the seriousness of the situation and “sees the light.”

Finally, realize that nearly everyone who has ever lived since the beginning of time, who has been lucky enough to have their elders reach old age, has experienced the pain of watching their once-competent parents decline, need help, and pass away. We all intellectually know it is a sad part of life, but even with all that’s been written and with all we have seen, there’s nothing that prepares us for the sorrow when it is our loved one. Take advice from all who have gone before you–don’t even consider going through it alone.

Related:
When a Parent in the Nursing Home Says I Just Want To Go Home.
Senior Housing: The Emotional Side of Moving Your Elderly Parent
Was Putting Your Parent in a Nursing Home a Mistake?

Sh0uld Mom Be Living Alone? originally appeared onAgingCare.com

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AgingCare.com connects family caregivers and provides support, resources, expert advice and senior housing options for people caring for their elderly parents. AgingCare.com is a trusted resource that visitors rely on every day to find inspiration, make informed decisions, and ease the stress of caregiving.

38 comments

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12:02AM PDT on Apr 14, 2013

ty

4:08AM PST on Jan 23, 2013

Only if i'm in the will..if not well...!!

3:04AM PST on Jan 22, 2013

Thanks for the article.

3:03AM PST on Jan 22, 2013

@ Siti R. i agree with you...
@ Zee K. Respect!
Thank you for sharing.

11:29AM PST on Feb 8, 2012

My friends have commented on how patient I was to finally convince my mother to move to a retirement apartment (it took me over two years). I consider myself very fortunate as my mother and I get along fairly well and, even though we have our disagreements, she likes to have me help her, though I do try and get her to do as much as possible for herself. It's a challenge, for both of us, but well worth it.

12:54AM PDT on Oct 28, 2011

Something to really think about. Thanks.

11:13AM PDT on Oct 8, 2011

thank you for this.. very informative and useful

5:23PM PDT on Sep 14, 2011

Thank you for this article, it points out the flaws in our modern day living arrangements.

9:47AM PDT on Aug 30, 2011

ty

4:12AM PDT on Aug 14, 2011

if my mother could take care of herself i would let her stay at home. once she needs help i would move her in with me and my family. my mom still works, drives and go out with her friends.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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