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Should You Regret Lost Connections?

Should You Regret Lost Connections?

Today, I received some really good news. My first instinct was to share it with my family.  But when I picked up my phone, I had to pause: who would I call?

It’s not that I don’t have a family. I do. Blood relations, aunts, first cousins…

But most of them live in other cities, and it has been quite a while since I met up with—or should I say, connected with—the ones who are here in Delhi.

No, nothing really ‘happened’: no bitterness/disagreements. It’s just that we have gradually… floated away from one another.

We’re busy people. Slowly, the busyness has overpowered our relationships.

There was a time when I wouldn’t think twice before ‘disturbing’ my brother or a cousin-sister in the middle of work/a movie/anything… I would simply call to say how excited/upset I was. Or even just to say, “Hi, I was thinking of you. How about we meet up for coffee?”

Now, the first thought that comes to mind is, “S/he would be at the gym/in office/trying to enjoy a break at home right now… I must not ‘disturb.’”


I wonder if one should feel wistful about all of this. I wonder if this realization dawns upon everyone who enters their forties. I wonder if this is just part of life, and one should simply accept it.

So, I swallow down the lump that’s formed in my throat, and dial the one person I know who will never be too busy for me:

My best friend.



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Shubhra Krishan

Writer, editor and journalist Shubhra Krishan is the author of Essential Ayurveda: What it is and what it can do for you (New World Library, 2003), Radiant Body, Restful Mind: A Woman's book of comfort (New World Library, 2004), and The 9 to 5 Yogi: How to feel like a sage while working like a dog (Hay House India, 2011).


+ add your own
12:45PM PDT on May 31, 2015

Thanks Shubhra.

8:58AM PST on Dec 20, 2013

if possible, try to stay in contact with those who are important, but don't beat yourself up if you don't. The author seems to be doing that, and sometimes life happens. Just try to reconnect with who you can. Thanks.

11:56AM PST on Nov 28, 2012

thought provoking......

2:21AM PST on Nov 17, 2012

a true friend you'd never drift away from. if you have drifted away from someone, there's usually a reason. and communication/friendship is a two way thing. they can get in touch with you just as much as you can with them. so question the friendship and if needs be, let it go

10:29AM PDT on Sep 10, 2012

Call your family!

1:38AM PDT on Sep 10, 2012

Sometimes I think friends are like soul family, because they are. It is good to have relationships with your closest relations, but..sometimes extended family like cousins, etc. have spread all over, and it's difficult to keep in touch with all. Article definitely brings up food for thought!

7:44PM PDT on Sep 6, 2012

It is easy to drift away from relationships.

9:03AM PDT on Sep 2, 2012

So true. Life makes us drift away and we don´t do anything to stop it.
Best friends are the best, always there for me.
However, if I´m in trouble, my siblings will be the first ones to come to my rescue. I love them dearly.

2:01AM PDT on Sep 2, 2012

Sometimes one just doesn't need them and at others one does, it's always best to keep options open and amicable :-)>

11:30PM PDT on Sep 1, 2012

Very true.
I've moved a lot during my life, so keeping in touch with people has been a way of life - wonderful for the ones who have time and reciprocate, and a sigh (and sometimes a tear) for those who then fall along the way.
But I'm building in more vocal contact with my immediate family now, rather than just e-mails all the time. E-mail can't replace vocal or visual contact fully.

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