There is a subpersonality within each person that has a self-destruct theme. This is not unnatural because it can be found all over the animal kingdom. A scorpion surrounded by flames will sting itself in the back and kill itself rather than be burned to death. Human beings will do likewise in their own way if they sense that the alternative to dying at their own hands is much more painful. Humans readily choose death for political reasons, for principles, for values, or to save the lives of others.
In most people, this perfectly natural self-destruct subpersonality sleeps unless extreme conditions call it forth to influence events. In people with control problems, the self-destructive personality has garnered this subpersonality for its own twisted purposes.
Your challenge is to set this subpersonality free to act in a normal way and to drive out the self-destruction dragon. Here are seven steps that caused you or those you love to develop self-destructive behavior, and seven steps to conquer the problem once and for all.
The Seven Steps of Development for Self-Destructive Behavior
Step One: The children are abandoned.
Step Two: The abandonment results in loss of structure.
Step Three: Emotional and physical abuse occurs.
Step Four: The children turn against themselves.
Step Five: The children fear loss of control.
Step Six: The children learn that gaining control is vital to survival.
Step Seven: The children no longer value life. Death seems better.
Seven Weapons to Slay Self-Destruction
Weapon One: Realize that life is sacred and has ultimate meaning.
Weapon Two: Admit you are out of control and ask for help.
Weapon Three: Admit that being in control is the big issue.
Weapon Four: Set your sights on realistic goals.
Weapon Five: Clean up the messes in your life.
Weapon Six: Admit and face your abuse of yourself and others.
Weapon Seven: Admit and face the issue of abandonment.
Adapted from Transforming Your Dragons, by Jose Stevens, Ph.D. (Inner Traditions, 1994). Copyright (c) 1994 by Jose Stevens. Reprinted by permission of Inner Traditions.
Adapted from Transforming Your Dragons, by Jose Stevens, Ph.D. (Inner Traditions, 1994).