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Stop Comparing the Present with the Past

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Man in Tunnel

Below is a HeartMath practice that helped him. It is for after the first phase of our initial anger, grief or despair. No one would expect us to be able to stop comparing the past with the present during the first phase of sadness and despair. Be comfortable with your own timing, however long it takes you. Some people do not experience as much loss, pain or despair as others because their situation is different. For them, the first phase could be much shorter, so they may choose to use this practice earlier in their emotional recovery process.

With self-compassion and patience, make a genuine heart commitment to practice recognizing some of your thoughts and feelings of comparison with the past. As you become aware of these thought loops and feel your energy down-spiraling, then from your heart accept that it’s normal to have these thoughts and feelings. Yet, know that constant preoccupation with them can drain and depress your spirit, which you need at this time to re-stabilize and move forward.
Then, in an easygoing way without force, choose something to focus on that doesn’t cause as much pain and energy drain. It often helps to switch thoughts by changing what you are doing in the moment or changing the subject if you are rehashing the past with someone. You can also replace the thoughts with appreciation for someone you care about.

With practice, you will be able to recognize the thoughts and feelings and then just shift—to something that doesn’t bring you down and leave you with depressed feelings. When this is done from the heart, then you are not repressing feelings, you are transforming them.

HeartMath practices, such as the above, are used by mental health professionals to help people get their system into heart coherence, an optimal state in which the heart, mind and emotions are operating in-sync and balanced. As people activate their hearts to get in sync, they have more capacity to hear their intuition which helps guide them to shift perspectives, so forgiving and releasing the past become possible. Using HeartMath’s emWave® technology before talking about a problem can also help.

Download HeartMath’s free De-Stress Kit for more ways to feel better fast.

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Deborah, from HeartMath

Deborah Rozman, Ph.D., is President and CEO of the for-profit Quantum Intech Inc (dba HeartMath Inc.) Deborah has been deeply committed to awareness development and personal growth for 40 years. Deborah is co-author with Doc Childre of Transforming Anger, Transforming Stress, Transforming Anxiety, Transforming Depression and Stopping Emotional Eating.


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11:53AM PDT on Apr 19, 2013


11:35AM PST on Jan 14, 2013

thanks for sharing

6:12AM PST on Jan 6, 2013

We all have things in our past we wish we could change,but you have to move on as best you can and live for today,tomorrow is not promised. Life is too short to waste!!!

7:31AM PST on Dec 27, 2012

thanks for sharing this

11:58PM PST on Dec 26, 2012

Excellent advice, will try to follow it, thank you.

8:55AM PST on Dec 15, 2012

Thanks for sharing.

11:21AM PST on Dec 14, 2012

Thanks for this this.

12:50PM PST on Dec 13, 2012

I don't care so much about the past, it's the future that scares me!

11:30AM PST on Dec 13, 2012

EFT teaches us that "Memories buried alive never die, they just show up in another form".

9:23AM PST on Dec 13, 2012

Thanks for the advice. It's always sort of hard to get to terms with change, isn't it.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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