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Surprising Jealousy

Surprising Jealousy

Envy is the most stupid of vices, for there is no single advantage to be gained from it. †~Honore de Balzac

Jealousy is not a helpful emotion. There is very little goodness in it, although it serves as one of our primary fall backs, as it is the emotion connected to our most primitive survival mechanisms. Forbidden in all of the ancient religious texts, our earliest ancestors knew the damage that coveting and jealousy can wreak not just in our primary relationships but also in our attempts to build community.

Still, I imagine I am not the only woman who looked on at the fuss of the Royal Wedding, experiencing pangs of envy at the wonder of watching a woman become a princess. Royalty, whether bestowed by blood lineage of excessive wealth often stirs these feelings in me. The distance between those who have and those who donít has only expanded exponentially during my lifetime and the excesses that we celebrate in the face of so much need infuriates me.

It isnít only that I wish that our many forms of privilege demanded equal amounts of responsibility, but sometimes lately as I work so hard to prove my capacity and justify my own work as worthy of investment, I get struck by the store of jealousy that lives inside me. Is it only the frustration of not having easy access to the resources that others seem to wade in waste deep without even noticing or is it truly an injustice. I am unsure.

A story from my adolescence still comes to mind at these times. Jacob I Have Loved retells the biblical story of two siblings Ė one who seems eternally blessed and the other who never quite finds the same access or ease to lifeís goodness. The blessed brotherís joy and gratitude begets more of the same, while the one who struggles and brings bitterness to his losses, only creates more of the same. I have for many years of my life grappled with the seeming injustice of this.

The positivity quest has clarified this dynamic for me because I know that our internal script is both the multiplier and the truest reflection of what we manifest in our outer world. Why some are born with the proverbial silver spoon while so many make food from grass or insects will always baffle me, but I know from a few old and precious friendships that jealousy adds nothing useful. Jealousy does not cure injustice and it brings you no closer at all to your own good.

For more, see Wendy’s Positivity Quest

Read more: Guidance, Inspiration, Love, Relationships, Spirit, Wendy's Positivity Quest,

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.† In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,† she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative advice.†It has been called "the essential guide for relationships." †The book is available on ebook.† Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.

71 comments

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8:16AM PST on Feb 16, 2013

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4:13AM PST on Nov 27, 2012

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1:31AM PDT on Sep 12, 2012

So true. Jealousy doesn't help any situation at all. What it might do is show YOU a sign that you are in the wrong place in your life.

8:23AM PDT on Jul 31, 2012

Jealousy is a negative, often people feel resentment and bitterness, especially if one is poor and sees a rich man or woman getting away with things that others would be turfed into jail for. We know the justice system is supposed to be "equal for all" but often this isn't the way of the world.

One could become embittered and jealous over these things or why do others have so much more while one struggles to get by. By engaging in positive action be it creativity, political actions one can make a positive contribution to society as a whole rather than sink in the abyss and bitterness of jealousy.

8:23AM PDT on Jul 31, 2012

Jealousy is a negative, often people feel resentment and bitterness, especially if one is poor and sees a rich man or woman getting away with things that others would be turfed into jail for. We know the justice system is supposed to be "equal for all" but often this isn't the way of the world.

One could become embittered and jealous over these things or why do others have so much more while one struggles to get by. By engaging in positive action be it creativity, political actions one can make a positive contribution to society as a whole rather than sink in the abyss and bitterness of jealousy.

So annoying to see spammers wasting so much space in Care2 in the comment section.
Hacking email accounts, isn't that illegal? My, my what some do in their spare time!

8:23AM PDT on Jul 31, 2012

One often enjoys reading the various articles and opinions on Care2, such a variety of topics to choose from for learning about new things to finding out of scientific study or how the cat who owns you purrs so loudly.

A pity that the spammers are wasting a lot of space in the comment section here. The one here says we have the right to be reassured, that having the password of a friend, lover or family...reassuring yourselves that they do not hide things. Sounds pretty jealous not to mention illegal to me, hacking passwords and emails?

12:44AM PDT on Jun 4, 2012

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12:25AM PDT on May 31, 2012

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12:08AM PDT on May 28, 2012

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11:12PM PDT on May 13, 2012

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