Spiritually, no action is more important than surrender. Surrender is the tenderest impulse of the heart, acting out of love to give whatever the beloved wants.
Surrender is being alert to exactly what is happening now, not imposing expectations from the past. Surrender is faith that the power of love can accomplish anything, even when you cannot foresee the outcome of a situation.
But surrendering to another person’s ego, even your beloved’s, is not a spiritual act. At the level of the ego, two people cannot want exactly the same thing all the time. Yet at the level of spirit, they cannot help but want the same thing all the time. Your ego wants material things, predictable conclusions, continuity, security, and the prerogative to be right when others are wrong.
By definition, pursuing these goals shuts out another person unless she falls in line with “my” agenda or he realizes that “I” am the important one around here.
Your spirit is not involved in such concerns. It wants being, love, freedom, and creative opportunities. This is an entirely different level of desire, and when you reach it you can share yourself with another person without conflict. Such sharing is the core of surrender.
The gap between ego and spirit is unavoidable. It would seem impossible to close this gap, since spirit and ego are total opposites. Bringing them together is achieved through surrender, and the only force that can accomplish it is love. Surrender, then, is the next phase on love’s journey, which you enter as soon as you choose to be in relationship.
The path to love uses relationship to move you out of your limited sense of “I,” “me,” “mine” into an expanded identity – this is the growth from the self to the Self.
Adapted from The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).