The Five Essentials of Genuine Love

Unconditional love happens best within a context of plentitude rather than neediness.

Such inner fullness overflows spontaneously into the five essentials of genuine love, which offer a blueprint for openness. When we are present in these five essential ways, we find ourselves opening. And when we give these five essential of genuine love to ourselves, we grow in self-esteem.

Discover here the all-important five attributes of genuine love:

The Five Essentials of Genuine Love

Attention (of ourselves and/or others)

Acceptance (of ourselves and/or others)

Appreciation (of ourselves and/or others)

Affection (of ourselves and/or others)

Allowing (of ourselves and/or others)

In order to full receive others’ feelings and help them to move through their emotions, we need to stay present with the five essential ways of genuine love and without the mind-sets of ego: fear, attachment, control, judgment, complaint, blame, contempt, or censure.

Intimacy means the exchange of our feelings with the support shown in the five essentials of genuine love without interfering mind-sets. An adult relationship that has made even one of the four feelings verboten does not allow the full monty of intimacy.

Adapted from The Five Things We Cannot Change, by David Richo (Shambhala, 2005). (c) David Richo, 2005. Reprinted with permission of Shambhala.
Adapted from The Five Things We Cannot Change, by David Richo (Shambhala, 2005).

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Violeta C.
Violeta C.about a year ago

There are 5A's.............all 5 wrong. YOU NEVER PUT YOURSELF BEFORE OTHERS...................SO THEY ARE WRONG AND NOT GENUINE. I had to look up what genuine means and believe nothing genuine about putting yourself before others. please stop and look in the never put yourself before others.

Yakkie.......for 2 years I try to figure out what this site meant by genuine love.......and when I got red socks....................GOD I LOVE YOU EBEN ALEXANDER III.
You are everywhere in the world and the world does not see it. LOOOOOOVEEEE YOU ANYWAY

Val M.
Val M.2 years ago


Winn Adams
Winn Adams2 years ago


Fiona T.
Fi T.2 years ago

Complete communication within the body and soul is a key

Summerannie Moon
Summerannie M.2 years ago

I like those 3 A's

Kathleen Marie C.

I like that "ourselves" was included. Thank you!

Elizabeth Brawn
Elizabeth Brawn2 years ago


Tanya W.
Tanya W.2 years ago


Deborah Vitek
Deborah Vitek3 years ago

Trust, that might be the most important

Heidi H.
Past Member 3 years ago

So simple and so true. Thank you.