I've always been in awe of the ability of caregivers to keep on keeping on. I know from having worked in the back office of a non-profit organization that the burn-out rate can be brutal. Those who survived in the long-term were people who kept their boundaries intact and had lives outside their care-giving duties.

Thanks for this reminder to put our own oxygen mask on first.

Grace Kerina
www.HealthyBoundariesHandbook.com

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Theres truth in this...though I think from experience you can be stressedand not even realize it.My father died 3 weeks ago.I left my career on the West Coast to take care of him after he had his first strokes.From there he got diagnosed with Alzheimers,he had more strokes,he got a total of 5 skin cancers removed.Then his Alzheimers seemed to be in remission.He tried going back to work part time as a security guard but only for a year.Then it was one health issue after another,then he had a diagnosis with lung cancer!(Nobody smokes in my family but Dad DID have a history of socializing in smoky bars and,even after NJ passed the smoke ban many bars ignored the law.Don't tell me second hand smoke is not deadly.)

So Dad never was able to get chemotherapy because he was too weak from every other infection.He lost his appetite-I was cooking ALL his meals,I mean I stayed in this apartment for literally months at a time.He didn't wanna eat,His potassium level was messed up.Too weak for chemo,he was constantly on antibiotics too.And he ended up with pneumonia.Was in and out of the hospital.Was in a nursing home twice.We finally had an occasional physical therapy nurse and a lady to bath dad.Til insurance chose to stop paying for it and my mom had to bathe him.

Now Dad is dead and I shut off my outward emotion for the viewings and funeral.Didn't want to run my makeup in public.But now I still cannot cry much.Not sure if thats "normal".

Yes its been stressful.

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There is nothing more true than that, Randy! Unfortunately, many people only associate the term caregiver with someone who takes care of the elderly. My youngest son is autistic and non-verbal. He turned ten this last October and we have been without any formal respite care for the last seven years. (We are stationed overseas with the military and they don't provide respite care.) We love him and he is one of the greatest joys in our lives, but he is a daily challenge. My husband and I make sure that we get some "down" time individually and together at least once a week. People with children who require caregivers should not be discounted. It is those of us who have the longest haul ahead. My mother may need care for the next ten or fifteen years, but my son has required it all of his childhood and will continue to need it until we are much too old to care for him ourselves (probably for the entirety of his life). We have set up specific investment accounts for him so that he won't end up as a ward of the state when it gets to the point where we need care. I'm not discounting how difficult it is to care for elderly parents, only that those of us with children who will require lifetime care are frequently left out of this equation.

I'm not fussing, just commenting!! My mother says (half-jokingly) that she isn't worried about how well I will care for her, if and when she needs it. I have had years of training with my son! Bless every caregiver - we need it!

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As the saying goes, "if you're not good to yourself, you no good to anybody".

There's just about nothing more draining than being a caregiver. I don't know how you do it, but thank goodness for all you caregivers out there!!

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