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The Mysterious O: Getting There

Extending the space between arousal and orgasm is the art of lovemaking. Do your own solo experiments so you know the sensations and buildup that lead you to the point of no return. Practice pulling back from that line and introducing another form of touch or breath and move towards it again. I have long been an advocate of waiting as long as you can to surrender into your orgasm. The longer you wait, the more power and energy is built up and the sweeter the release. Some spiritual techniques suggest moving up and down this arousal tunnel, coming close as close to your orgasmic edge without going over as a spiritual practice. Sounds like a worthy form of meditation, and I don’t question it’s incredibly powerful results.

Arousal messages come through our body as genital secretions. As many as a third of all women do not have a strong natural lubricating response. This easily turns into feelings of low libido and disinterest in sex. After years of birthing and nursing babies, I never have natural wetness so I was heartened to discover that a small application of great, clean lubricant will kick start the arousal cycle as well as my memory of natural lubrication did. Not only that, but adding healthy lubricant ingredients ensures pain less friction, more time to experiment and is a critical companion to experiencing orgasm. I would be hard pressed to not admit to making the best lubricant on the market, but many people enjoy other types of lubricants- so find what is best for your body.

Fantasy can either be helpful or harmful to your orgasmic journey. Having fantasies that conjure up guilt and take you out of your physical experience and away from your partner are generally not going to move you closer to orgasm. However, imagining other illicit relationships for you and your partner, and here, you only need to read a small bit of sexual history can be seriously passion producing. I can never repeat the strange and fantastical thoughts that go through my head afterwards, but as I have come to bear witness to them, I have experienced whole new levels in my orgasmic potential.

So go forth, flirt with arousal, don’t judge your experience or compare it to anyone else’s and enjoy the ride.If there is any journey worth taking over and over again, it is the one to our most innate and miraculous human pleasure.

The Mysterious O: Extending Life and Love


Read more: Health, Love, Relationships, Sex

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


+ add your own
4:40PM PST on Nov 13, 2013

What's the big deal about the big O ?? - I can solve this mystery any time of day... Heh,heh,heh....

8:27AM PDT on Oct 27, 2013

Thank you for sharing.

6:33AM PDT on Oct 8, 2013


1:02AM PDT on Oct 4, 2013


1:35AM PDT on Sep 24, 2013

Actually I copy it, and I will read later at home :)
Just like with many articles...

1:32AM PDT on Sep 24, 2013

I also thank you :)

7:29PM PDT on Jul 17, 2013

Thank you :)

5:23PM PST on Dec 23, 2012


The above written in caps to ensure that all male readers, cannot claim they lost their glasses!

10:06AM PDT on May 19, 2012


9:09PM PDT on May 20, 2011


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