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The Pause In Perimenopause

The Pause In Perimenopause

By: Melanie Bates

Oh. Dear. God. AboveÖ

I think Iím having hot flashes.

Is it menopause? Perimenopause? Just-oí-pause?

Come on baby, light my fire?

Iíve never worried about the ďchange of lifeĒ before. Ever. I mean Iíve actually looked forward to it after†years of Stage IV Endometriosis and cramps that have left me crying; cuddled in the corner like Baby on crack. But, that was before I knew I was going to be pushed up to the very razorís edge of spontaneous combustion.

It was definitely before I knew I was going to burst into flames at any possible second.

It was most assuredly before I knew that the blazing inferno inside of my body was going to reach the surface temperature of the sun about eight times a day with no warning.

Picture itÖ

Iím sitting there watching reruns of Frasier, cuddling with the Kr8z, eating Big Hunks, and suddenly I feel this warmth in my torso that quickly turns hotter and hotter and spreads throughout my whole body until Iím gasping from panic and lack of oxygen. Iím afraid to open my mouth to let in any cool air because Iíve watched†Backdraft about a million times so I know better.

Iím not sweating profusely or anything so there is that. But I am waking up a couple times a night and my yellow Dr. Seuss ďOne Fish, Two FishĒ pajamas have melded to my body like molten gold. I lay there panting with So-Kr8z trying to lick the sweat from inside my mouth. Itís all very†Animal Farm meets Suzanne Summers, without her yams, in the Mojave Desert in August.

I always thought that when you went into menopause youíd then graduate to Crone status; youíd be all wise and sage and have this crazy depth. Iím certainly not feeling very wise. Just yesterday I had Capín Crunch for dinner.

Picket Signs?

I visited Dr. Google looking for alternatives to hormone replacement. Iím only 42 and my guess is that, due to my endo, I only have one lone ovary up in there and she was probably struggling to keep up with my estrogen demands and went on strike. I can see her brandishing a picket sign painted with neon pink letters that read ďOverworked and underpaid.Ē Or perhaps she jumped off my uterus due to loneliness and splatted to her death. Who knows? But, there is no way Iím going to swallow a single drop of horse pee. Plus, my dearest friend lost her mom due to a blood clot from those drugs and it was heartbreaking.

Unfortunately, my research didnít uncover much. Some studies have shown flaxseed to be helpful and another study showed that it doesnít do sh!t, though apparently it makes you†need to sh!t. Then we have Suzanneís yams which, apparently, donít do a d@#n thing either, plus yams are meant for bathing in brown sugar and butter during Thanksgiving time.

Iím not wholly sure what it all means. Perhaps itís time to take a pause. Perhaps itís time to buy a fire extinguisher. I dunno. ButÖ Iíd love some tips for unfanning these flames. What works for you, aside from Equus ferus caballus urine? Have you experienced this inner pyromaniac phenom in your body? Iíd so love some sage words of advice.

 

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62 comments

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3:14AM PDT on Aug 21, 2013

Thank you for sharing.

7:22PM PDT on Aug 10, 2013

You have my sympathy, Melanie. I used to call the flashes power surges, but I heard someone say she was having her own personal summer, and I was so tickled that I adopted that phrase which takes the stress out of the flash, and if I'm occupied with something else it passes before I know it. In addition, I've noticed that they seem to wane for a period of time which also provides some relief. As far as advice goes, I can't think of any other suggestions except for putting your hair up. Just remember that you're not getting older you're getting better like a fine wine sans cramps, and the risk of pregnancy when you are past the age of having the energy to rear children. It's just a natural process for most of us.

2:50PM PST on Nov 20, 2012

I find that herbs work, but I have to rotate them about every 3 months. I can take a blend with black cohosh, dong quai, and vitex. Then I have to go off them and switch to something else, like wild yams or red clover. Right now I'm using St John's Wort before going to bed, and it's helping with the night sweats, which is my biggest problem. Been going on like this for 5 years.

7:46AM PST on Nov 19, 2012

For those who don't know if they are menopausal, or perio-menopausal..or whether you've had the hot sweats or not, and think you canjust go on to ignore it....you haven't begun to feel the hot flashes.

Perio - is starting to see the effects - I had a doctor look at me like I was crazy until I showed him an article by Reader's Digest and then he took me seriously about it. And the crankiness just begins. Grinding your teeth - be careful, this could be excruciating and damaging at the same time.

Believe me when I say, when you get them, you will know. It feels like someone decided to turn the heater on and you're standing directly in its blast. Best thing I can advise - carry a hand fan with you everywhere. The hot flashes sneak up on you when you least expect it, could be 8 times a day, could be 50 times a day. I had long hair, and when a flash hit, it was like my hair was a heat blanket. I cut my hair back 18 inches so that when it comes to that again, my hair is not the issue.

At night, I have a clear quartz crystal next to my bed that I place on my face and neck. The coolness of the crystal will last only a few moments, but it does help some.

I just found a lovely product of a cloth (yep its a petroleum product - sorry) but you keep it damp in a plastic baggie, take it out and wave it in the air a few times, and it holds the cool for a long time, place behind your neck and feel better. I cut this large sheet into 4 sections and leave it in different

2:22AM PST on Nov 18, 2012

I heard that motherwort is good for post labor as well as menopause; I am nearing my time and am curious and hopeful for it to pass smoothly

thank for the insights!

12:31PM PST on Nov 17, 2012

I recommend Chasteberry, aka Vitex, for the endometriosis. I used to have endometriosis, but no longer. As for the pre-menopause and hot flashes, a good formula containing Black Cohosh will nip that baby in the bud and you will have smooth sailing. I'm currently pre-menopausal and the natural formula I use is noticeably helping me deal with everything related to menopause symptoms...including the mental health side of things...WHEW!!! :)

9:08PM PST on Nov 16, 2012

I am 44 now and I ignore many things ...I probably have hot flashes but I don't really know!....funny..just go with the flow and ignore it..if you feel hot...have cold drink or cold shower..put ice on your butt..your body you can trick it to forget you are hot !

9:07PM PST on Nov 16, 2012

I am 44 now and I ignore many things ...I probably have hot flashes but I don't really know!....funny..just go with the flow and ignore it..if you feel hot...have cold drink or cold shower..put ice on your butt..your body you can trick it to forget you are hot !

9:03PM PST on Nov 16, 2012

maybe put cold compress on your head ..stick your foot in cold water..but I think it is best if you drink plenty of fluids..cold water plus orange juice...just don't think about it it will pass..the more you think the more you stress yourself.

5:06PM PST on Nov 16, 2012

Drink lots of water and breathe deeply through the heat!!!

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