Acceptance is the key to change, and the key to peace.
“On the other side of acceptance is where peace exists, where the solutions are,” says Ariane de Bonvoisin, author of The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Making Any Change Easier, quoted in the August 2009 Guideposts.
In 27 years of counseling, I have found that what Ms. De Bonvoisin says is always true. Always. No exceptions.
Do you believe me?
The opposite of acceptance is resistance, and strangely, resistance is what magnetizes to us exactly what we don’t want. In facing whatever we don’t want, and accepting it as it is, we are then able to reach peace around whatever the ‘it’ is.
Try this scenario: You really dislike your current job. Really dislike it. You want to quit, but for various reasons, you can’t. Rather than continue to resist the job, begin to find things you can appreciate (and therefore accept) about it. I’ve seen it work over and over again. When acceptance comes, change can happen.
Think of the thing you most resist in your current life. It could be a relationship, a task, an assignment, anything. Notice your own resistance to it. Begin to switch your resistance to appreciation, and you will find yourself living into acceptance of what is. Once you accept what is, it’s pretty easy to change it.
One of the things that never ceases to amaze me is that we actually resist peace on this planet. We make peace a when/then possibility. When I lose 15 pounds, then I’ll be at peace. Why not be at peace with the 15 pounds, and let them melt away?
When there’s a Republican/Democrat in the White House, then I’ll be at peace. Why?
When I’m out of debt, then I’ll be at peace. Why? Why wait to be at peace? What do you get from waiting, from postponing peace? I don’t think we get any benefit from it.
Like the gift of the present moment, peace can only exist in this moment–now. And then the next now. Delaying it doesn’t help anyone.
Try acceptance if you want peace.
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