The 10 Kitty Commandments

Anyone who has ever known and loved a cat (and even those who havenít!) will get a laugh out of this great list!

Share it with your cat-fancier friends:

And the Cat said. . .

1. Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the computer.

2. Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

3. Thou shalt not project hairballs from the top of the refrigerator.

4. Thou shalt not sit in front of the television as if thou art invisible.

5. Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping humanís bladder at 3 a.m.

6. Thou shalt not reset thy humanís alarm clock by walking on it.

7. Thou shalt not trip thy humans, even if they are walking too slowly.

8. Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

9. Thou shalt not jump on the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

10. Thou shalt attempt to show remorse when being scolded.

From 50 Simple Ways to Pamper Your Cat, by Arden Moore (Storey Books, 2000). Copyright (c) 2000 by Arden Moore. Reprinted by permisison of Storey Books.
From 50 Simple Ways to Pamper Your Cat, by Arden Moore (Storey Books, 2000).

212 comments

Natasha Salgado

Very Cute!! Thank you.

New G.
W. C.3 years ago

Thank you.

Dale Overall

The 16 year-old cat that owns me and rules the roost with her velvet paw bestowed with the Titles "She Who Must Be Obeyed", "Her Grandness" and "Supreme World Ruler" has directed me to write the following Feline Commandments For Humans:

Cats are Supreme, humans do not have the title Master, this designation belongs solely to The Cat: We are Not dogs!

Food/water bowls must never be Empty.

Litter pan/s must be kept immaculate.

Adoration of The Cat must be Unconditional and Complete.

Your waking hour is set by The Cat.

Home grow our catnip, when dried there will be no stems.

Entertain and Amuse The Cat.

Study felines and learn from our Wit, Grace and Intelligence but you can never attain the Ultimate Purrfection that is The Cat.

Only a few of the Long List Of Commandments to be followed.

Lynne G. commented: "How about.... Thou shall not torture and kill the wildlife". Fact/lesson: Nature made the cat an obligate carnivore, a natural meat eater. Feral cats kill with one bite as they are wild, domestic cats are not always as well schooled in the hunt.
Man is not an obligate carnivore but an omnivore meaning we can eat foods other than meat and still survive but man's torture/kill ratio dwarfs any obligate carnivores!

Give The Cat love, care and The Cat will give this in return at the discretion of The Cat when The Cat so wishes.


Dale Overall

I Humbly Beseech forgiveness...am human after all, for my statement below in reference to humans (omnivores) and cats (obligate carnivores) contained a grievous error:

"Man is not an obligate carnivore but an omnivore meaning we can eat foods other than meat and still survive but man's torture/kill ratio dwarfs any obligate carnivores!"

Shocking error here, that should have read "man's torture/kill rate is the highest of any species of animal on the planet." The cat (and other species) dwarf man's kill/torture rate on this planet!

My cat sighs at my error but forgives me as it is 4:40 in the morning and I am, after all...human. She will proof read all my comments about cats from here on in to make sure that I do not commit any other heinous errors!




Aditya Narayan
Aditya n.4 years ago

FUNNY

Harshiita Sharma
Harshita Sharma4 years ago

Very Cute!! haha

Kamryn M.
Kay M.4 years ago

good ones.

Valentina R.
Valentina R.4 years ago

Thanks for the lulz.

Sandi C.
Sandi C.4 years ago

so true but I think the cats gonna do all of them anyway, Stripes the cat says if you don't like my attitude call 800 get a dog!

Sarah M.
Sarah M.4 years ago

lol