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The 10 Kitty Commandments

The 10 Kitty Commandments

Anyone who has ever known and loved a cat (and even those who havenít!) will get a laugh out of this great list!

Share it with your cat-fancier friends:

And the Cat said. . .

1. Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the computer.

2. Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

3. Thou shalt not project hairballs from the top of the refrigerator.

4. Thou shalt not sit in front of the television as if thou art invisible.

5. Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping humanís bladder at 3 a.m.

6. Thou shalt not reset thy humanís alarm clock by walking on it.

7. Thou shalt not trip thy humans, even if they are walking too slowly.

8. Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

9. Thou shalt not jump on the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

10. Thou shalt attempt to show remorse when being scolded.

Read more: Pets, Everyday Pet Care, Humor & Inspiration

From 50 Simple Ways to Pamper Your Cat, by Arden Moore (Storey Books, 2000). Copyright (c) 2000 by Arden Moore. Reprinted by permisison of Storey Books.
From 50 Simple Ways to Pamper Your Cat, by Arden Moore (Storey Books, 2000).

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Annie B. Bond

Annie is a renowned expert in non-toxic and green living. She was named one of the top 20 environmental leaders by Body and Soul Magazine and "the foremost expert on green living." - Body & Soul Magazine, 2009. Learn Annie's latest eco-friendly news on anniebbond.com, a website dedicated to healthy and green living.

212 comments

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1:04PM PDT on Apr 19, 2013

Very Cute!! Thank you.

11:19AM PST on Dec 31, 2012

Thank you.

8:23AM PDT on Jul 31, 2012

The 16 year-old cat that owns me and rules the roost with her velvet paw bestowed with the Titles "She Who Must Be Obeyed", "Her Grandness" and "Supreme World Ruler" has directed me to write the following Feline Commandments For Humans:

Cats are Supreme, humans do not have the title Master, this designation belongs solely to The Cat: We are Not dogs!

Food/water bowls must never be Empty.

Litter pan/s must be kept immaculate.

Adoration of The Cat must be Unconditional and Complete.

Your waking hour is set by The Cat.

Home grow our catnip, when dried there will be no stems.

Entertain and Amuse The Cat.

Study felines and learn from our Wit, Grace and Intelligence but you can never attain the Ultimate Purrfection that is The Cat.

Only a few of the Long List Of Commandments to be followed.

Lynne G. commented: "How about.... Thou shall not torture and kill the wildlife". Fact/lesson: Nature made the cat an obligate carnivore, a natural meat eater. Feral cats kill with one bite as they are wild, domestic cats are not always as well schooled in the hunt.
Man is not an obligate carnivore but an omnivore meaning we can eat foods other than meat and still survive but man's torture/kill ratio dwarfs any obligate carnivores!

Give The Cat love, care and The Cat will give this in return at the discretion of The Cat when The Cat so wishes.


8:23AM PDT on Jul 31, 2012

I Humbly Beseech forgiveness...am human after all, for my statement below in reference to humans (omnivores) and cats (obligate carnivores) contained a grievous error:

"Man is not an obligate carnivore but an omnivore meaning we can eat foods other than meat and still survive but man's torture/kill ratio dwarfs any obligate carnivores!"

Shocking error here, that should have read "man's torture/kill rate is the highest of any species of animal on the planet." The cat (and other species) dwarf man's kill/torture rate on this planet!

My cat sighs at my error but forgives me as it is 4:40 in the morning and I am, after all...human. She will proof read all my comments about cats from here on in to make sure that I do not commit any other heinous errors!




1:47PM PDT on Jun 13, 2012

FUNNY

9:48PM PDT on Jun 12, 2012

Very Cute!! haha

4:39PM PDT on Jun 12, 2012

good ones.

1:29AM PDT on May 29, 2012

Thanks for the lulz.

8:50AM PDT on May 25, 2012

so true but I think the cats gonna do all of them anyway, Stripes the cat says if you don't like my attitude call 800 get a dog!

5:41PM PDT on Nov 2, 2011

lol

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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