http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-ten-kitty-commandments.html
The 10 Kitty Commandments
From 50 Simple Ways to Pamper Your Cat, by Arden Moore (Storey Books, 2000).
Anyone who has ever known and loved a cat (and even those who haven’t!) will get a laugh out of this great list!
Share it with your cat-fancier friends:
And the Cat said. . .
1. Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the computer.
2. Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
3. Thou shalt not project hairballs from the top of the refrigerator.
4. Thou shalt not sit in front of the television as if thou art invisible.
5. Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human’s bladder at 3 a.m.
6. Thou shalt not reset thy human’s alarm clock by walking on it.
7. Thou shalt not trip thy humans, even if they are walking too slowly.
8. Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
9. Thou shalt not jump on the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
10. Thou shalt attempt to show remorse when being scolded.
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182 comments
add your comment »When I was living alone in my first apartment with my little Calico "Samantha" I was awakened several times in the middle of the night listening to the toilet flushing! Naturally, that freaked me out seeing as it was just me and the cat and she had her litter box. Then one morning while I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom I saw her jump up on the toilet seat, place both paws on the toilet handle and then push with all her weight so that the toilet would flush. As soon as the water began to whirl and swirl she would jump about three feet in the air - all wigged out - and run out of the bathroom. She really had a good time doing that so I will not say "Thou shalt not flush the toilet in the middle of the night and scare your human." Besides, she's in Heaven now and I miss her and her midnight mischief.
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Those furry little creatures, jam-packed with cuteness!!
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forgot to add the E to Bite......sorry.
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Loved these.....would also add......
.Thy shall not drink from the goldfish bowl and try & scoop them out.......They are guests and must be treated with respect.
The shall not bit your owners toes when she has been kind and pretend not to see you as you wiggled down under the sheets.
Thy shall not use the old labs private parts as toys.....he's a bit touchy about them.
Thy shall not lay on the centre of the dinning table as a living piece of art washing bits and bobs, just before non cat lovers arrive and bit anyone who dares try move you.
Miss my darling cat Chiara so ...crossed that rainbow bridge far too early. Was my shadow for 10 years, reading without her on my lap is not quite the same.
Thank you all for the smiles.
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My cat loves to throw her rubber ball down my wooden stairs, then go running down and bring her ball up, and it starts again... she loves to do that during the middle of the night, I must confess somethimes I need to hide the ball from her... but most of the time, after seeing her searching for it, I need to give it back to her... I love too much...
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1.Thou shalt not stick thy paws in my glass of tea and bat around the ice cubes.
2.Thou shalt not scratch the bedroom window to death at 3AM, because thou sees a raccoon outside.
3.Thou shalt not walk over a candle and set thy tail on fire.
4.Thou shalt not tear a hole in the bottom of a new bag of cat food.
5.Thou shalt not stare at me for two hours before it's time to open a can of tuna.
6.Thou shalt not hide in the closet and then get stuck in there all day.
7.Thou shalt not use thy litter box backwards and then get mad cause it's on the floor.
8.Thou shalt not put all thy toys in the water bowl and then drink from the toilet.
9.Thou shalt not bat a ball around in the middle of the night, with a bell in it.
10.Thou shalt not "Attempt" to go fishing in the aquarium, repeatedly...
I have four indoor cats and there is never a dull moment!
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Mmmm,I guess,we still have to add one more commendment.
Thou shalt not nibble at the tomatoes und chew the milkpackages.
One day,I caught my tomcat, nibbling at the tomatoes wich were standing upon the kitchencabinet. He left his toothmarks all over the tomatoes. I wondered what to do with them. Instead of throwing them away, I removed the toothmarks and made a tomatoesalat out of it.
Once I caught my other cat Nicki chewing all the milkpackages which were standing on the kitchenfloor. Milk was dripping on the floor. Scratching my head,wondering again what to do with the perforated packages, I came to the conclution to prepare chocolatepudding. And it tasted great,thanks to my cat.
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Hmmm ..When my cat, Lady Sadie of Shady Pines, presented me with a similar list I noticed that instead of "Thou shalt not" were the words "It is purr-miss-able to
" ...
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I am so glad its not just my cat that must sit with me when I am in the bathroom on the toilet. I must say she is very good, though she does like to jump on the keyboard when I am trying to work:-) , unlike my previous 2 kitties that would rip the toilet paper, pull all your tissues out of the tissue box and think what jolly good fun. Thanks for the excellent laugh, Blessed Be
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Here's something you may want to try to deter kitties who like to play with the bathroom tissue.
Stack an empty tuna can (or 2 if you can manage it) on top of the tissue roll. It will fall when the tissue is tugged, make a clatter and scare the cat away. Wash, rinse and repeat as needed.
Having the loose end of tissue toward the wall instead of outside may also help.
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