The Vagina Dialogues

It’s really time for us to grow up and discover our vaginas. –Loretta Swit

For all the sexual freedoms we claim in our culture, the amount of real conversation about all things sexual is almost non-existent. Formal sex education is limited to body part naming, if it exists at all; in many states kids don’t even get that. Adult entertainment content is the substitute for real sex education for most kids and even most adults. Our collective discomfort about the mystery of our sexuality is proportional to the lack of both language and meaningful conversation about our sexual selves.

While joking about genitalia may be acceptable among select friends, consider the last real conversation you had about your vaginal anatomy or the traumas that you may have sustained within that anatomy. Whether from childbirth, forced and/or painful sexual encounters or just a healthy dose of cultural shame associated with genitalia, a frightening majority of women carry the burden of unspoken conversations about their vaginal life. Emotional issues that live in our bodies often manifest as physical illness when they are silenced and suppressed for years. Even if you can’t personally link chronic pelvic pain to the lack of real conversation about your vaginal experiences, at the very least, opening up a dialogue could add a great deal of mileage to your experience of sexual pleasure.

I was 47 and selling love products for years before I learned about the remarkable clitoral organ system and complex anatomic structures that literally rock my inner world every time I orgasm. This from a woman who believed herself to be sexually open-minded and educated. I am not alone in never having gotten a full tour and understanding of the complex neural network and the multiple organs that work in harmony to make sexual pleasure the amazing symphony of sensation that it is. In fact, until about ten years ago with the advent of books like The Clitoral Truth, much of female anatomy was not understood or taught even by/to physicians.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

KS G.

4:45AM PST on Dec 6, 2011

Thanks for the article.

send a green star

Jennifer A.

8:54AM PDT on Mar 31, 2011

hi
i get constipated only during my period, worse now than ever. any of you girls have this problem ? any ideas why and what i can do
thanks, jen

Barbara T.

9:17AM PDT on Mar 21, 2011

Oh, after this post I want to have sex so much... :)

Janice L.

12:32AM PDT on Mar 19, 2011

I did once what, I think she was Annie Sprinkle recommended, which was to look at it with a mirror. Well, that was interesting. I didn't get what the big deal was, but at least I knew where stuff was which is the first step to getting to know it. Anyone remember the parties where women all got in a circle and looked with mirrors? I couldn't do that.

Fareena N.

7:31AM PDT on Mar 16, 2011

Thanks for the really great article

Jane H.

12:31PM PDT on Mar 15, 2011

great post---thank you....very important info.

Alan B.

3:31PM PDT on Mar 14, 2011

The better "educated" the man is,the greater pleasure his partner will enjoy! Probably fewer divorces too,as a happy really involved couple will rarely be looking elsewhere.

Lika S.

4:08AM PDT on Mar 14, 2011

I've given my 11 year old "the talk" this last summer. We home school, so I went into more detail than what most mom's would do. He asks questions, I answer. We also talked about how we shouldn't use it as a force against others, and it's supposed to be a fun & loving act between two people who want to do it...

Of course part 2 will be coming up, and well, it's a good thing I don't get embarrassed easily.

Back to the blog... many times too often, we don't know what we like, because it's been taught to us through generations how it's wrong to be sexual as a woman. It's high time we break the indoctrination cycle, and start understanding women's sexuality better, and our partners will love us all the more for it. Trust me.

Veronica T.

1:58PM PDT on Mar 13, 2011

Great and inspiring article :)

Brad F.

7:02AM PDT on Mar 13, 2011

Brian M.--I don't think the GOP (or the Dems) really care about vaginas or any other part of the human anatomy. Women's issues/rights is an entirely separate subject.

Beyond that, as the article implies, there is a lot of confusion/myth, inappropriate material and teaching surrounding sexuality and love. Such topics should be tactfully and objectively discussed or taught at the appropriate time, age and forum.