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To Be Right or To Be Happy?

To Be Right or To Be Happy?

Conflicts arise as a result of not understanding that there are as many points of view as there are people. Our unique points of view are a gift. We live in a universe reflecting who we are, which we should cherish and celebrate. Instead, we rush to defend our tiny piece of it.

Consider how relationships develop. We get along well with someone else who agrees with our point of view. We feel an intimate connection; we feel validated in their presence. Then the spell is broken: it turns out that the other person has many opinions and beliefs with which we don’t agree at all. At this point, the war between right and wrong starts, and the road to unhappiness unspools before us.

The very fact that you are in an intimate relationship makes it even more painful to find areas of disagreement. At the subtle emotional level you feel abandoned. The beautiful sense of merging with someone you love is shattered. At this point love is compromised, as both people experience the return of the ego, which says, “I am right. My way of doing things is the only way. If you really loved me, you’d give in.”

But in reality love hasn’t failed. It was just blocked by the need to be right, to cling to your own viewpoint instead of surrendering to what love would do. To the ego, however, surrender is defeat and disgrace.

If you are mindful of this fact, then every time the urge to be right surfaces in your awareness, look at your circumstances in context. Is it possible that someone else’s viewpoint is as valid as yours? Since the equality of viewpoints is a given, now it becomes possible to let go of the win-lose scenario.

Ask yourself, “What do I really want out of the situation, to be right or to be happy?” Can you see that the two are not the same? When you give in to your need to be right, you are turning your back on love, communion, and ultimately unity. Unity is the realization that at the deepest level everyone shares the same consciousness, which is the source of all love and joy.

Adapted from The Ultimate Happiness Prescription, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2009).

Read more: Deepak Chopra's Tips, Love, Relationships, Spirit, , ,

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Deepak Chopra

Acknowledged as one of the world's greatest leaders in the field of mind body medicine, Deepak Chopra, M.D. continues to transform our understanding of the meaning of health. Chopra is known as a prolific author of over 49 books with 12 best sellers on mind-body health, quantum mechanics, spirituality, and peace. A global force in the field of human empowerment, Dr. Chopra's books have been published in more than 35 languages with more than 20 million copies in print.

153 comments

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5:33PM PDT on Apr 16, 2015

Thanks

12:48AM PDT on Mar 10, 2015

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6:55AM PST on Feb 23, 2015

Thank-you for the post

7:21AM PDT on Jul 28, 2014

Thanks

3:30AM PST on Mar 7, 2014

thnx fr the gr8 gr8 post :) keep smile

9:03PM PST on Feb 18, 2014

yea good things you have shared

12:20AM PST on Feb 12, 2014

yeah its right and very true

11:53PM PST on Feb 4, 2014

best idea taken fr discussion (Y) thumbs up

9:39AM PST on Nov 27, 2013

Thank you!

12:47AM PDT on Nov 3, 2013

Thx

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