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To Be Right or To Be Happy?

To Be Right or To Be Happy?

Conflicts arise as a result of not understanding that there are as many points of view as there are people. Our unique points of view are a gift. We live in a universe reflecting who we are, which we should cherish and celebrate. Instead, we rush to defend our tiny piece of it.

Consider how relationships develop. We get along well with someone else who agrees with our point of view. We feel an intimate connection; we feel validated in their presence. Then the spell is broken: it turns out that the other person has many opinions and beliefs with which we don’t agree at all. At this point, the war between right and wrong starts, and the road to unhappiness unspools before us.

The very fact that you are in an intimate relationship makes it even more painful to find areas of disagreement. At the subtle emotional level you feel abandoned. The beautiful sense of merging with someone you love is shattered. At this point love is compromised, as both people experience the return of the ego, which says, “I am right. My way of doing things is the only way. If you really loved me, you’d give in.”

But in reality love hasn’t failed. It was just blocked by the need to be right, to cling to your own viewpoint instead of surrendering to what love would do. To the ego, however, surrender is defeat and disgrace.

If you are mindful of this fact, then every time the urge to be right surfaces in your awareness, look at your circumstances in context. Is it possible that someone else’s viewpoint is as valid as yours? Since the equality of viewpoints is a given, now it becomes possible to let go of the win-lose scenario.

Ask yourself, “What do I really want out of the situation, to be right or to be happy?” Can you see that the two are not the same? When you give in to your need to be right, you are turning your back on love, communion, and ultimately unity. Unity is the realization that at the deepest level everyone shares the same consciousness, which is the source of all love and joy.

Adapted from The Ultimate Happiness Prescription, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2009).

Read more: Deepak Chopra's Tips, Love, Relationships, Spirit, , ,

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Deepak Chopra

Acknowledged as one of the world's greatest leaders in the field of mind body medicine, Deepak Chopra, M.D. continues to transform our understanding of the meaning of health. Chopra is known as a prolific author of over 49 books with 12 best sellers on mind-body health, quantum mechanics, spirituality, and peace. A global force in the field of human empowerment, Dr. Chopra's books have been published in more than 35 languages with more than 20 million copies in print.

149 comments

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3:30AM PST on Mar 7, 2014

thnx fr the gr8 gr8 post :) keep smile

9:03PM PST on Feb 18, 2014

yea good things you have shared

12:20AM PST on Feb 12, 2014

yeah its right and very true

11:53PM PST on Feb 4, 2014

best idea taken fr discussion (Y) thumbs up

9:39AM PST on Nov 27, 2013

Thank you!

12:47AM PDT on Nov 3, 2013

Thx

7:59AM PDT on Nov 1, 2013

"Nor can you talk to religious biggots..Anybody who just thinks with a book based on Myths cannot have a normal conversation about almost anything..One has to be able to think with the brain one was born with..Nowadays, it has become very difficult because organized religion permeates every facet of our lives!





Gee Rosemary, sounds like you have been hanging out with those that are not true Christians, like myself! As there are tons of thing that you and I could talk about besides God...you are right about one thing and that everything IS of a spiritual nature, but that also refers to how others treat each other...you would never have reason to fear talking to a Christian about any questions you have regarding the things you don't understand about God with someone like me as I would simply give you the answers that God has set forth, not my own opinion. And all that without argument. Then the ultimate decision would lie with you as to what you believe and if you didn't want to discuss it as you think it a "Myth" then that's OK too! But don't count out the fact that real Christians are great people and have far more going for them than just talking about God...even though we love to do so. Nonetheless, I brought this to your attention because the topic was not about God but pertains to anything where the need to be right at all cost can deflect the price of happiness...Not about your going off in a totally different direction.

10:15AM PDT on Oct 23, 2013

I am far from ignorant and I wont pretend to be
..ignorance is bliss huh?....not in my book

1:42PM PDT on Oct 3, 2013

Wise words. Thank you!

1:25PM PDT on Oct 3, 2013

Obviously I'd always think I was right, or else I'd change my mind and become right. Duh!

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