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To Live With A Man’s Mentality In My Woman’s Body

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To Live With A Man’s Mentality In My Woman’s Body

What would it be like to walk the world for one day in a size twelve men’s mentality…

  • To Wake - and be showered, shaved and ready in 10 minutes flat. Wrinkles slicing, grays invading, ear hairs growing; no one would expect anything less. By God, I’m “distinguished”. I scratch my a$$, arrange my breasts and hack up a goober for good measure.
  • To Enjoy - the magic that happens beyond my sight: clothes dry cleaned, full meals placed before me, T.V. dusted, dog walked, kid’s homework done, groceries bought, blinds pulled, fresh cut flowers.
  • To Consume - without scales, labels, inches, cups, or a caloric breakdown.
  • To Expel - gas, expletives, bulls#!t.
  • To Roam - Dark alleys, parking garages, the back country, and bars without fear of being physically attacked.
  • To Tell it Like I Think It - I text: WTH is this s#!t? I specifically asked for this documentation to be completed on Friday. If this doesn’t get done I’ll have no qualms to go up, over, under and through your department.
  • To Flirt - The barista is seriously hot. Nice strong chin. I watch him make my drink. Nice a$$!! I lean a bit to the right for a better view. He’s fully aware that I’m watching; even a bit uncomfortable about it. He avoids making eye contact which makes it easier for me to take in his hams.“Soy Chai Latte for Monica” he hollers. “Thanks. You have a nice day.” I reply, with a wink. On the way out I hold the door for a group of men coming in, “Nice Dockers!!”
  • To Share A Bit More of My Mind - I Text: If I needed to know these issues I’d be the one sitting at your desk? Do your job so I can do mine.
  • To Hang – With my other female coworkers in the boss’ office reviewing the latest trends on the catwalk. “Did you see what Dior’s done to the mini?”, “Check out the beading on that Vera Wang blouse? I’ve never seen anything like it!”  Rhonda asks, “Who’s the new guy at the end of the hall?” in which I respond, “I don’t care how nice his eyes are, is he going to get his s#!t done on time?” Bob walks in on us, obviously breaking up our conversation, “Hey, Bob. Like the belt.”
  • To Communicate – I email, “What the hell is going on with your people and these bloody documents? We’ve discussed this for two months now. How complicated do you need this to be?  Since Jim obviously can’t handle this issue maybe someone else in your department can. Don’t worry, we’re only losing $10,000 every freakin’ day as we wait for Jim to get his s#!t together. No prob. Start-ups are a dime a dozen.”
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By Monica Wilcox

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31 comments

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3:44PM PST on Feb 27, 2013

meh

5:18PM PST on Dec 9, 2012

Great insight. When there are as many girls in school as boys and as many women in positions of power as men then women can rest on their laurels but until then we really need to continue hammering home that men have a sense of serious entitlement that is not deserved and it is only our hormones that allow them to believe they are.

8:01PM PST on Dec 1, 2012

Wow, a broad spectrum of comments on this post. My goal was not to stereotype the male or female population or to attack men. I wanted to honestly consider how it would feel to be able to act the way many of the men in my life act simply because it is so foreign to my own nature.

The idea of this post was sparked by the interactions I get from men while I sit working in a cafe. For example, just two weeks ago a man approached me while I was typing and said, "I bet you're sending that email to me, beautiful. You're amazing!" then walked away. Regardless of what I think of his statement, I'm fascinated with this kind of confidence, which I see/receive on a regular basis from strange men. The truth is I don't know or witness many woman who feel comfortable with this kind of blatant interaction. Why is that? I'm not saying it's good or bad and of course this doesn't include all men or exclude all women. It's simply an observation. I was curious how it would feel if I were to go up to a strange married man in a Starbucks and say the same thing to him. Maybe it would make me feel foolish? Maybe it would give me more overall confidence in my life? Maybe it wouldn't change a thing but I thought contemplating doing so was worth my time.

I appreciate all the comments and views left below.

I do appreciate and respect all the comments and views that have been shared.

The same is true of my husband, who spends very little time worrying about his gray hairs and laugh lines

2:43PM PST on Nov 29, 2012

"Male privileg" is a universal prime directive and operates in nearly every venue all day, every day.

It is so much a norm that most men deny it and many women are so accustomed to accepting it without question that any challenge to "Male privilege" is seen as silly, or "man-hating". Which only means that "woman-hating" is acceptable in this upsidedown world and to try to set the world right is deemed to be too disruptive.

Oh well.

6:25AM PST on Nov 29, 2012

I thought it was very funny. Some people complain that it's exaggerated and stereotypical, er I think that's the point.

5:00AM PST on Nov 29, 2012

tellin it like it is. If you have never encountered this behavior at one time or the other, you have lived under a rock. Guys like this really do inhabit the world. Not all the traits rolled into one person...well, hopefully not.
Definately macho strutting behavior...usually seen in teenage boys or mature men grasping onto their dwindling testosterone overload. Where some guys see this as chick magnet material is anyone's guess. Too much watching "Two and a half men"?

4:25AM PST on Nov 29, 2012

"The slave learns to kiss her chains" explains a lot of these comments.

3:25AM PST on Nov 29, 2012

fun to read but not exactly purposeful?

1:47AM PST on Nov 29, 2012

Only vaguely amusing at first - nah

1:21AM PST on Nov 29, 2012

do not make any seance to me

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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I need a copy of this for my bathroom!

Thank you for sharing.

Have stopped sending captions as I never agree with the winner and believe me it's not sour grapes.…

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