Welcome to the 10th article in the series Breaking the Dysfunctional Dating Cycle and Find Love. Reading all the previous articles is recommended as it will bring you up to speed as to where we are in this process. Click here to find the previous articles.
It came to my attention during my own process of dating discoveries that something needed to change in my perception of men. I am going to use my experiences as a heterosexual to explain things, however it really does not make a difference what your sexual orientation is to understand this philosophy. If you are in a same-sex relationship, there might be one of you that has a stronger feminine or masculine side than the other. If so, then you might find the following information valuable as well.
We have all been through a lot of confusion about the male-female relationship and dynamics between the sexes, but I never completely understood this until I attended a weekend workshop designed by Allison Armstrong from PAX Seminars about understanding men. There were so many incredible insights that I learned throughout this weekend workshop that helped me not only understand men better, but to have more confidence in myself as well. I highly recommend taking a workshop or getting one of her CDs.
One of the important things I learned was how we as women emasculate men and as a result we lose their trust. It is not something that we are consciously doing, but unfortunately society has reinforced this behavior. Whether we realize this or not, this chips away at a man’s self-esteem and we continue to push them farther away. For me, I wanted to gain a man’s trust. I wanted to find my best friend and be a supportive, kind and loving partner. This does not mean subservient as that is not my style, but I had to look at the various ways that I added to emasculating my partner. I realized that every time I criticized, rolled my eyes, continually interrupted him, invalidated his opinion, laughed at men-bashing jokes, that I was only putting more and more of a wall between us.