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Unpeeling the Layers of Love

Unpeeling the Layers of Love

One of the most valuable things you can learn about yourself is what you mean by the words I love you. The meaning you impart is complex because it contains you. Your past associations with love, your childhood imprints, your unspoken expectations and beliefs are all packaged in language.

Thus I love you expands into I love you the way my father loved my mother before they got divorced. I love you as long as you dont get too close. I love you more than Romeo loved Juliet, but please dont ask me to die. I love you the way the high school football captain didnt love me.

Words become more personal the more emotional they are. Since I love you is the most emotional phrase in our language, it includes many feelings that you might never openly refer to, particularly painful ones. The meanings that get overlooked in everyday speech can be brought to the surface through the technique of association, which is the basis of this practice.

Sit down with a pencil and paper and record your answers to this question: Whats the first name that comes to mind when you think of each of the following words? Saintly; Passionate; Kind; Adventurous; Beautiful; Courageous; Tender; Loyal; Handsome; Selfless; Strong; Funny; Genius; Innocent; Admirable; Talented; Generous; Adorable.

Naturally no two people produce anything like the same list of answers, but there are definite profiles of how lists are formed. The way your mind ties things together by association is often just as misleading. The fact is that we rarely see people for who they are; we see them by association with people from our past.

False love operates by projection, displacing your own feelings upon another. Getting rid of projection is critical if you want to be able to tell true love from false, as either the giver or the receiver.

Adapted from The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).

Read more: Deepak Chopra's Tips, Spirit, , ,

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Deepak Chopra

Acknowledged as one of the world's greatest leaders in the field of mind body medicine, Deepak Chopra, M.D. continues to transform our understanding of the meaning of health. Chopra is known as a prolific author of over 49 books with 12 best sellers on mind-body health, quantum mechanics, spirituality, and peace. A global force in the field of human empowerment, Dr. Chopra's books have been published in more than 35 languages with more than 20 million copies in print.

63 comments

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4:52PM PDT on Aug 11, 2011

Thank you.

12:14AM PDT on Aug 8, 2010

Thanks for the info.

1:02AM PDT on Jun 6, 2010

True Love comes from the heart, inspired in the absence of dictates.

7:55PM PST on Mar 12, 2010

What does this have to do with Love ?
The answer is simple, Love and its conditions percieved by all have been handed down through generations.
When True Love is something only the person, or other individual can decide for themselves. Instead of what they were told, or taught to believe.
Love is felt, and unconditional, by all true standards of Universal Creation of Life.
This is something that will bring about colassal change if allowed to manifest.

7:49PM PST on Mar 12, 2010

I certainly believe this to be a character trait that originated in our ancestoral traits of evolution.
Seems to me this particular trait, can and will be overcome if one allows for new interpretation of occuring moments of present experience.
Then, to not make comparison to similar experience of past episodes of action.
This is done by seeing this particular moment entirely involved in the course of eventual alliance of manifested outcome to all involved.

10:28AM PST on Mar 4, 2010

for them to do that would mean that not even they love them selves. V_V Knowing that ask yourself, do I really them? o_0 Now when it comes to being in love with someone I believe that you both must love each other, hence the word "WITH". When you truly love someone and you feel that they love you then the feeling is just amazing and the bond you two have will be able to make it threw hell and back with no worries.

10:19AM PST on Mar 4, 2010

Love, for such a short word there is so much to say about it. I'm only 20 so I'm still working on what it means to love someone or to actually be in love with someone, so maybe some of you can see if I'm close or really off. To truly love someone I believe that you must love everything about them meaning not only their looks but also who they are. You may find someone who you think is beautiful beyond compare and you have little to nothing in common with them, yet you still say you love them.Then again their differences may be what attract you to them but their still must be something with them that makes you click with them, some kind of chemistry which would kinda count as a common interest. ^_^. In my eyes I'd call that lust because you only love their looks them with no true substance which in logic means that if their looks went south then you would stop loving them. =/ Now what if you find someone who you can call your female or male counterpart, as if you were twins separated at birth. Nearly everything in common down to the way you both tie you shoes, yet your attracted to what they look like. Whether it be that their waist is to big or that their chest is too small or something else about them that is not appealing in your eyes. You love who they are but not them which also in logic would mean if they altered their appearance to your liking then you would then love them. That would be horrible of course to have someone alter their just to receive your love, and,,,

2:20AM PST on Mar 1, 2010

True love is so simple and sweet that it leaves no bitterness what so ever! Lucky are the ones who nurture this kind of love and spread it too! Mother Teresa ! Thanks for this good article!

7:51AM PST on Feb 27, 2010

thanks for the post

7:45AM PST on Feb 26, 2010

True love is simple, without too many complications.
loved you when love gives without expecting something in return




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