If you can love your vagina, you can love any part of you – not just your belly, your butt, your boobs, and your thighs, but also that thing you did that led to your divorce, that way you treated your child, that betrayal of your own integrity, that episode of cheating on your taxes, that mistake you haven’t recovered from, that tendency you have to drink too much, that failure to stay true to your dreams, that way you promise yourself you’ll stop overeating even though you never do.
I know. I know. That belly can be hard to love. And those thighs. Those stretch marks. The saggy, deflated, balloon, post-breastfeeding boobs.† That wrinkle right between your eyebrows. That chicken neck. That ass.
And the other stuff – sheesh. That might seem impossible to love. Who would want to love mistakes, betrayal, cheating, and lack of willpower?
But the vagina. The vagina is the final frontier.
I Can’t Do It, Captain. †I. Don’t. Have. The. Power.
Ah, but you do, though most women never go there. You canít see it without a speculum. Itís like the black hole of womanhood. Many women are flat-out scared of the vagina, like if they go spelunking in there, they might get eaten – or slimed – or they might just disappear into oblivion without a trace.
The Vulva As Gateway
For many, the vulva is tough enough to love.† Loose lips curled in on each other, hiding, peeking out, hairy, the gateway to. . . God knows what. Some brave souls have explored – a feat that requires mirrors and acrobatic acts of vulvar contortion. The ones who go there too often get judged as weirdos, perverts, sex freaks, sluts. You can’t win with the vulva. The poor vulva gets a bad enough rap.
But the vagina. Most women go to their graves without ever going there. Itís like Siberia. The last place on earth youíd intentionally go. Itís like outer space, seemingly inaccessible. And what would you do if you went there? You might get lost. You might get in trouble. You might run out of oxygen. You might get pregnant. You might get a disease. You might get raped. God forbid, you might actually die.
Why We All Need Rockets
If the vagina is the final frontier, not unlike outer space, Iím gonna go out on a limb and venture to say that we all need rockets. And no – Iím not talking about some phallic symbol to fill us up. Iím talking about a vehicle to boldly take us where no man has ever gone before. Inside. Deep space. HOME. To that place that lies within us, that place we must learn to love in order to love our wholeness.
Most of us never think about loving our liver or our small intestines or our pancreas or our kidneys. We take these organs for granted. We mostly ignore them and hope they keep doing their job.
But somehow the vagina is different. The vagina doesnít get merely ignored. It often becomes the victim of full-on hatred.
Why Loving Your Vagina Is Your Ticket To A Strange New World
If you can love your vagina – the most unlovable part of many womenís anatomy – you can make peace with your tummy, your rump, your breasts, and your nose. If you can love your vagina, you can love yourself in spite of that mistake you made – you know the one. You can love yourself in spite of your failure to achieve what you promised yourself you would accomplish. You can love yourself even though he left you. You can love yourself even though he beat you up. You can love yourself even though he molested you. You can love yourself even though she told you that you were unlovable. You can prove her wrong.
You can love yourself even though you let yourself down. You can love yourself even though you don’t feel good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, virtuous enough, loving enough, successful enough, healthy enough-†whatever enough. (You are enough, by the way (link to Sheena’s video).
You can start by loving your vagina.
Your vagina never did anything to you. It is not your vaginaís fault. Your vagina was an innocent bystander when she was traumatized by that insensitively handled speculum, by that uninvited penis, by that baby who blew through and ripped her to shreds, by that suction catheter that aborted your baby.
She didnít ask for it, any more than you did. So cut her some slack. Show her some love. Let her heal. Heal yourself.
How To Love Your Vagina
Iím not gonna spout off some list of 10 ways to help you love your vagina, because it just doesnít work that way. Iím afraid youíre gonna have to figure this one out on your own. But I can give you some ideas – write her letters. Invite her to write back. Dedicate a playlist to her on your iPod. Draw a portrait of her.† Go exploring with your finger, a mirror, even a speculum if youíre daring.† Nurture her with positive touch. Pleasure her. Do a vaginal meditation. Name her.
But donít do it my way. Tap into your Inner Pilot Light and do it YOUR way.
Donít wait another day. Start vagina-loving today. You just might be surprised to discover all the self-love that follows.
Do You Love Your Vagina?
Is this a stretch for you? Or are you and your vagina already BFFs? Tell us what you think.
Lissa Rankin, MD: Founder of†OwningPink.com,†Pink Medicine Revolutionary,†motivational speaker, and author of†Whatís Up Down There? Questions Youíd Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend and Encaustic Art: The Complete Guide To Creating Fine Art With Wax.
Learn more about†Lissa Rankin here.