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Walking in Your Sexual Power

Walking in Your Sexual Power

I just spent several days walking, dancing, playing, and dining in a world of generous succulence. In this world, I had several opportunities to talk with women about sexuality and their relationship with men.

It seems that so many of us want the attention of men, yet greet their attention with anger or fear. We want masculine attention, dress for it, flip our hair on the street for it, but when we get a response – we often respond with fear or anger. Our eyes often don’t greet the smile of masculine appreciation with warmth – often we return it with  a “how dare you notice!”

Sometimes we just look away and pretend that we didn’t notice. Some of us may snort and think “pigs” to ourselves. And honestly, it is not necessary to do anything with anyone’s response to our sexuality. But what if….

What if we instead chose to allow the compliments that come to us in an appreciative smile or wink on the street from a masculine energy that admires us as we pass? What if we returned the smile? What if you could feel that the warm attention of men as you walked down the street in your sexual power was simply their acknowledging your feminine power?

Could you possibly allow yourself to feel their joy and pleasure in admiring you? How would it feel to allow that in? Could we all possibly feel secure in this gentle exchange between the feminine and the masculine energy? Is there even some healing in that?

Some deep knowledge that could be felt in owning our sexual power and in being admired? What if we just relaxed into the moment and received the praise? When I walk down the street and a man smiles at me appreciatively, this is what I think they are saying to me:

“I see you. I appreciate you. You are powerful. Thank you”. In my head I say “Thank you for seeing me.” Sometimes, I just walk on. Sometimes, I return the smile and sometimes even offer a wink. For me, there are some delicious moments of dancing between the feminine and the masculine in those moments. It costs nothing. It can be very healing. What do you think?

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Pamela Madsen

Pamela Madsen is an Integrative Life Coach Specializing In Women's Issues: Sexuality, Fertility, Body Image, Wellness and Rejuvenation. Pamela is also author of the best selling memoir Shameless (Rodale, Jan 2011), and founder of The American Fertility Association.Her websites and her daily blog,, are a breakfast essential for reporters, writers and policymakers.


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11:31AM PST on Dec 21, 2013


Are you aware this is something in the American culture.
I am Scandinavian and this does not resonate with me at all.
Not that it is any easier to a man here, but women are not that rude and afraid of most men as it seems they are in America. And maybe men in America have frighted women, so now they are scared ?

10:31AM PDT on Jul 2, 2013

I'm actually surprised that women would react like that, really? If a guy was to smile at me and say something nice it would sure brighten my day, and I'd definitely return his compliment with a smile! I find it hard to believe a woman would thing 'pig' if a guy smiled at her walking down the street

8:37AM PDT on Jun 24, 2013

At 53 it is nice to know I can still turn some heads from to time. But sometimes a man's attention isn't very nice if it is given with a sense of entitlement or loaded up with anything other than just an appreciation of a woman for being a woman.

4:18AM PDT on May 31, 2013

Thank you :)

9:52PM PDT on Apr 23, 2013

For example, over 20 years ago, as I was walking down the street, a man turned to watch me walk past, smiled a big smile, and said " skinny in the waist and pretty in the face" . There was no sneer or threat in his voice or his face, just a big , happy smile. So I turned , while still continuing on my way, and gave him a big , happy smile back. I have never felt insulted or threatened by a wolf whistle, or a compliment that wasn't a statement of intent.I figure the fellow is trying to make my day a little brighter with a compliment, so I return the favour by showing him his compliment means something to me, with a big smile and a thank you, as I continue on my way.

5:14AM PDT on Apr 18, 2013

Love it! Hey when you get to be 52 and your still getting admiration don't knock it. Plus I enjoy telling my husband later just to annoy him.

4:02PM PDT on Apr 16, 2013

I completely agree.

6:07AM PDT on Apr 16, 2013


10:38PM PDT on Apr 15, 2013

Thanks for sharing

6:28AM PDT on Apr 14, 2013


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people are talking

So cute ! It would never work with my terriers ! lol !

Love these Dodo videos...


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