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How to Finally Get That Great Relationship

How to Finally Get That Great Relationship

By Sean Jameson for YourTango.com.

Discovering how to get a guy to like you can be a complex, frustrating and sometimes very counter-intuitive process. While I am known as the “sex guru”, today I want to share 3 very powerful methods, tactics, and techniques to get a guy like you and want to be with you. Because after all: great sex often comes from great relationships!

1. Suitors Are Like Cats
The first thing to say on the subject of learning how to get someone want you is that you need to realize that people are just like cats. Sounds a little weird? Hear me out! Ever see a cat chase after a toy that is just sitting there? I certainly haven’t. However, when it’s dangled in front of them but still remains slightly out of reach, they literally go crazy for it.

They jump around, chase, sprint and pretty much will do whatever it needs to do to catch this “just out of reach” toy.

Bizarrely, people are exactly the same. If you are easy to win over or not a challenge and just wait there for a guy to “catch” you, you may not be creating the right opportunities to connect. But if you are fun, exciting, playful, flirty, just out of reach, then you may be a lot more desirable.

2. Let’s Be Honest For A Second…
The second thing that I have to say on the topic of learning how to get a guy to like you is maybe not something you want to hear… but it’s vital. There are certain attraction triggers that will make guys like you and see you in a totally different light (read: an attractive light).

Here are the 3 most important:

Are You Healthy? Going to the gym in of itself doesn’t make you healthy. Eating right isn’t the only important factor to being healthy. Being thin is a goal of many women, but again this may not necessarily make you healthier. But combining these 3 things, going to the gym, maintaining a healthy weight and eating right is going to massively contribute to being much healthier.

You see, guys aren’t really looking for a skinny woman, gym bunny or a nutritious eater. They are naturally attracted to someone who is healthy. Being lean is the result of being healthy. So ask yourself, “Am I doing everything possible to be healthy?”

Do You Dress To Impress? The next thing I want to talk about is how you dress. I am absolutely not talking about being fashionable. Being fashionable is certainly fun, but it you are keen to make a guy want you and chase you, then you should think more about dressing attractively to accentuate your good points.

I can honestly tell you this as a guy: men just don’t care about fashion nearly as much as women do. As a result, we often don’t even notice the latest trends or what’s hot. So to reiterate, rather than dressing fashionably, dress attractively. The difference is often subtle, but it’s crucial to making a guy want to be with you.

Debbie Downer Or Susie Smiles? I know “Susie Smiles” sounds a little cheesy, but I hope you get my point. Are you a fun person to be around, a depressing person to be around, or a boring person to be around? The majority of guys don’t want to hang around a girl that’s boring or depressing, no matter how attractive she is. They’d prefer to run a mile, to be perfectly honest.

So when I say that you should be a fun person and a positive person to be around, I don’t mean that you should be some sort of psycho-happy-all-the-time person. I’m saying that you should do your best to see the good in the world and be at least a little bit more positive.

3. Are You Available All The Time Or Do You Have Your Own Life?
The final thing I have to say on getting a guy to like you is that you absolutely need to have your own life when it comes to dating, and even just attracting a guy. Again, this comes down to the fact that guys don’t want what they can easily have (remember the cat analogy above?).

So rather than always being available to hang out with a guy, make sure that you have your own life, interests and fun things to do (and invite him to). This will make you seem way, way more valuable in his eyes.

And One More Thing… Great Sex
While figuring out how to get a guy to like you is important, learning how to keep him is crucial if you want things to progress. One of the best ways to keep him attracted to you is through having great sex.

So don’t forget: take care of yourself, remember the cat analogy and cultivate your own life and interests. All that adds up to one very attractive woman that a man just can’t resist.

This article originally appeared on YourTango.com: How To Get A Boyfriend: 3 Powerful Steps.

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YourTango is a digital media company dedicated to love and relationships. No matter what lovestage our users are in—single, taken, engaged, married, starting over, or complicated—we help them live their best love lives.

70 comments

+ add your own
4:17PM PST on Feb 15, 2014

dumb. just be yourself

4:13AM PST on Jan 25, 2014

Hi Jane R. I agree with you.
And we are more intelligent than YOUR TANGO gives us credit for.

The best rule is to not play games at all. This is the year 2014 and the script has changed ....
And actually it is men now that must struggle to keep their women interested in them over time. We are no longer the playful small innocent kittens....

7:19PM PST on Jan 24, 2014

I wonder if all men think the way you do. We should give him great sex? What if you haven't gotten to that point yet? Don't be available all the time? If you're not available he will find someone who is! As far as dressing fashionable goes, he may not care what you wear but if you feel better about dressing fashionable, you are more confident in yourself and it shows.
This is garbage!

11:17AM PST on Dec 17, 2013

Please.
Do women have to offer great sex all the time to have good relationship.
That is on men's wish list,no doubt.
I fear men's expectations for frequent and great sex are so high that most women can never live up to their dreams.

3:59PM PST on Dec 15, 2013

ty

3:25AM PST on Dec 13, 2013

I like the cat analogy.

1:38AM PST on Dec 12, 2013

yes cause we're all the same... ??

1:34AM PST on Dec 12, 2013

Some of it is correct but girls take great care as men are very often not what you think & so often untrustworthy, remember they will change & if jealous or controlling DUMP them they do not love you, just be your real self!

10:59AM PST on Dec 11, 2013

thanks =]

10:55AM PST on Dec 11, 2013

(i also cannot guarantee the Q and A link is accurate about the people it mentions - its just a headsup but i do like the book)

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