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Want A Raise? Wash Your Vagina

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Want A Raise? Wash Your Vagina

OMG. Youíve got to be kidding. I just heard about a magazine ad thatís got me steaming mad. Check out this full page Summerís Eve ad in Womanís Day magazine. The title: ďConfidence at Work: How to Ask For a Raise.Ē The very first suggestion in the eight tips on how to ask for a raise?

#1 Start with your usual routine and all the things you do to feel your best, including showering with Summerís Eve feminine wash or throwing a packet of Summerís Eve Feminine Cleansing Cloths into your bag for a quick freshness pick-me-up during the day.

Are you people serious?

As the author of Whatís Up Down There? Questions Youíd Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, Iíve got something to say about this! Summerís Eve approached me a few months back because they wanted to throw a boatload of money at me so I could be their spokesperson. Thank GODDESS I said I would do that when hell freezes over. What did I tell them? ITíS SUPPOSED TO SMELL LIKE PUSSY.

To quote my heroine Eve Ensler from the Vagina Monologues:

My vagina doesnít need to be cleaned up. It smells good already. Donít try to decorate. Donít believe him when he tells you it smells like rose petals when itís supposed to smell like pussy. Thatís what theyíre doing Ė trying to clean it up, make it smell like bathroom spray or a garden. All those douche sprays Ė floral, berry, rain. I donít want my pussy to smell like rain. All cleaned up like washing a fish after you cook it. I want to taste the fish. Thatís why I ordered it.

Amen, sister! Take that, Summerís Eve. What was all that mumbo jumbo you gave me back when you were trying to convince me to accept your money? Hereís a direct quote from the email you sent me:

The ďtoneĒ of the program is one that emphasizes female confidence and empowerment, taking charge of health and wellness and an overall love of being female!† An integral part of our efforts is a collaboration with a respected health professional to provide educational messaging for consumers. Your breadth of expertise in a variety of womenís health issues, as well as your position on womenís empowerment and the down-to-Earth, woman-to-woman tone of your upcoming book makes us particularly interested in starting a dialog with you.

Shame. Shame. Shame on you. And thank you Universe for guiding me to turn away the money and decline this offer. How in the world does this ad ďemphasize female confidence and empowerment?Ē I mean seriously, people.

My agent, whom I lovingly call ďMonkey Barbara,Ē had this to say when this opportunity arose: “I don’t want the word douchebag coming out of your mouth unless you’re saying it to some guy who wants his girlfriend to douche!”

When I expressed my belief that douching is not only an offense to women everywhere but it also increases the risk of vaginal infections by washing away all the healthy, protective bacteria, Summerís Eve assured me that their new campaign was not about douching at all. Instead, it was about healthy, pH balanced feminine cleansing. My answer to them? The vagina is a self-cleaning organism. And oh yeah Ė itís supposed to smell like pussy.

Next: Why I’m mad and 8 real tips on how to ask for a raise

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Lissa Rankin

Lissa Rankin, MD is a mind-body medicine physician, founder of the†Whole Health Medicine Institute training program for physicians and other health care providers, and the New York Times bestselling author of†Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself.† She is on a grassroots mission to heal health care, while empowering you to heal yourself.† Lissa blogs at†LissaRankin.com and also created two online communities -†HealHealthCareNow.com and†OwningPink.com. She is also the author of two other books, a professional artist, an amateur ski bum, and an avid hiker. Lissa lives in the San Francisco Bay area with her husband and daughter.

578 comments

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5:51AM PDT on Mar 21, 2015

Noted. Thanks

1:14PM PDT on Oct 2, 2014

Change the smell - Absurd...
When someone figgures out a way to put that aroma and consistancy into a chewing gum , The world will have the first Trillionare!!

7:12AM PDT on Aug 23, 2014

You know, those packaged douche product can actually cause yeast infections. They change the PH balance in your vagina, which allow the yeast to grow.

IF you feel the need to douche, use plain water, or white vinegar and water.

And as far as what MEN think -- well, come on, you're lucky if you can get them to even wash up before coming to bed. Where do they get off thinking a clean woman ought to smell like something unnatural?

7:04AM PDT on Aug 21, 2014

How offensive is this! i never buy these things, but i do wash my pubes, i dont like to smell fishy, and i dont think that a bit of soap and water once a day, harms our private regions, or destroys any protective layer, that doesnt return quickly, bacteria mutliplies fast, so theres NO FEAR OF THAT!

7:28AM PDT on Aug 17, 2014

Noted and Thank you Lisa!!!! Way back in 1979 I lived for a year in Puerto Rico among a crowd of Americans. I was both confused, and astonished at the constant offensive and graphic ads for douches, flavoured, scented and medicated! These often ran side by side with ads for creams, pills and potions for vaginal yeast infections, thrush and urinary tract infections!!! No prize for guessing the correlation between the two, or for guessing which gender all these pretty smells and tastes are aimed for. Not surprisingly I never saw a single ad to suggest that men's penises frequently smell awful, and are the main carrier of bacteria and infection, yet we are still expected to stick them in our mouths and 'enjoy'!!! I think not!!!! Wash first please
and see how you feel! :~)

1:48PM PDT on Aug 16, 2014

Noted!

10:22AM PDT on Aug 14, 2014

Are you fricking kidding?

8:37AM PDT on Aug 14, 2014

I am not religious nor spiritual, but... AMEN TO THAT. Fan-f*king-tastic. THANK YOU.

9:14AM PDT on Aug 13, 2014

I think if there are any ladies working at Summers Eve and thought this would be a great ad for their product, they might be overdosing on their own product, drank to much of the Summers Eve Kool-Aid and their brains have rotted. This ad reminds me of the olden days when a woman was portrayed as excited because her husband gave her a vacuum cleaner for her birthday. Anyhow, love the comments you are all providing Too funny.

7:07AM PDT on Aug 12, 2014

Noted, thank you!

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