Want To Meet New People? Try Changing Your Attitude
By Kelly Rudolph for YourTango.com.
It’s normal to feel stuck in life at various times. When this happens, we have two choices: stay stuck or take responsibility for moving forward, even through the discomfort that comes with the unknown. Some people stay stuck for years or decades; some just long enough to recognize they’re stuck before moving on. And some never move on, allowing beliefs that no longer serve them to dictate their lives. An example of one of these beliefs is, “I get what I deserve so this must be all I’m worth.” In addition to this attitude defeating us, it’s simply a false statement. We have the ability to change our circumstances and therefore our future.
One of the best ways to move forward when you feel stuck in a career, relationship, health goals, social life, spirituality or family is to learn how to meet new people who can inspire you, and act as positive role models. Therefore, you’re seeking people who are moving forward in the area of life in which you want to progress. Here is where changing your attitude makes all the difference. Let me give you some examples.
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Feeling Stuck In Your Health Goals?
You do the same thing every day, and it usually consists of worrying about everything you eat, focusing on how much weight you’ll gain from that French fry that’s calling your name or starving yourself. Still the pounds stay put. Every morning, you look in the mirror and feel tired and frustrated about your continuous battle with weight. New diets, new pills and new workouts haven’t worked, and now you are dressed for work feeling defeated and depressed even before you leave home.
You need to meet new people, and not the ones who will commiserate with you about weighty issues. You’re looking for those who are positive-minded and know that a healthy mind and healthy emotions equate to a healthy body. They may participate in fun outdoor activities or be inspiring accountability partners to work out with at the gym. They may just be a movie or coffee group. The key is, they are people you look forward to being with because you feel so good about yourself when youíre around them and vice-versa.
Change your attitude from, “I hate the way I look; I’m fat and I’ll never loose this weight,” to “I feel good about myself and meet fun, healthy people.” See how the weight loss issue isn’t even included in the new attitude? When you begin feeling better about yourself as a person, you’ll notice progress in achieving your health goals. The universal law of vibration states that what you think about, you bring about. It works 24/7 whether you choose to believe it or not; it always has. Example: when you focus on weighing too much and how bad you think you look, you get more of both.
The new people you meet need to have a healthy attitude so take your time in finding them. They don’t have to be in a weight-loss group because those people are likely focused on extra weight like you were when things weren’t working. Remember the law of vibration. The key is meeting the right new people, otherwise you’ll just stay stuck with a bunch of other stuck people, and you deserve better.
Where do you meet new people? They could be in a Meetup group in your area. Meetup.com has a variety of activities available in most areas and is free. A yoga or meditation group to get you focused on what you do want may do you much more good than a weight-loss group that has you focusing on weight you don’t want. Remember the law of vibration is always in effect. The internet has local websites for groups and organizations who meet regularly, and sites like Facebook are great catalogues to scour for like-minded people.
Unhappy In Your Career?
Day after miserable day you sit in traffic to get to a job you resent for making you feel bitter, and coworkers you wouldn’t hang out with by choice. So much effort goes into every day of work and you feel your life slipping away with little to show for it. What happened to your dreams? What happened to loving what you do, living your passion and enjoying people you work with? All of that is waiting for you, and if you’re not living your best life yet, start now by changing your attitude and learning how to meet new people.
Change your attitude from, “I hate my job working for people who don’t respect me… and I dread Mondays,” to “My ideal career is waiting for me and I’m going to meet new people who can ultimately lead me to new opportunities that reveal my bright future.”
Commiserating with coworkers and friends is what most people do by default, and this negative energy permeates every area of your life ó including relationships. Is that really the energy you want to blanket your future with?
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Changing your attitude to possibility-thinking will reawaken the previously bright light at the end of your tunnel that represented your future but now looks like a freight train heading straight for you. A new attitude of, “This career is winding down and I’m open to new possibilities, regardless of the current job market,” will help you meet new people quickly. Most of your new friends and acquaintances will be possibility thinkers as well, because your positive energy and new belief will only attract forward-moving, proactive people. Negative people won’t be attracted to someone who finds the best in situations because it makes them uncomfortable. However, if you do happen to catch a negative one in the mix, release him or her back into the wild as soon as possible. That one is a catch and release. You’re headed in a positive direction and they will only dampen your dreams.
Wondering where to meet new people when you feel stuck in your career? Global friends are available via social media, simply by seeking those who have positive things in common with you. I’ve met lots of friends worldwide and also some exceptional local friends via social media like Facebook, LinkedIn and Google+. Local Chambers of Commerce are full of business people who may have a neighbor who has a cousin who’s looking to hire someone just like you. Remember, as with online dating, we want to look at meeting new people as a pipeline. A new acquaintance may introduce you to someone else you are supposed to meet. How many women have ended up marrying the friend or brother of a man they met through an online dating site? Keep your positive attitude and expect the best without putting your own time-frame on results. It is the best and healthiest way to meet new people and upgrade your life. Getting un-stuck will come naturally. Meeting new people provides an endless array of possibilities and adventures to keep life fun and exciting, while building self esteem and delivering peace of mind.
Focus on positive-minded people, as it’s easy to get caught up in the negativity of toxic people, or those who are miserable in their own career. All energy is contagious and your goal in meeting new people is to have fun and create new opportunities for friendship, career, health, family and relationships. Go out for coffee, a smoothie or walk after work. Catch a movie on the weekend and talk over lunch afterward. Keep it positive and see how good you feel afterward.
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Feeling Stuck In 24/7 Mom-ness?
How do you meet new people if you’re a mom who wants to add some out-of-the-home variety to your life? When you feel stuck as a mother, you deal with the guilt and fear of wanting more for yourself because society programs us that family always comes first. While it’s important to focus on the health of your family relationships, it’s even more important to recognize the ways their health depends on yours. Your mental, emotional and physical health impacts your family, health and relationships greatly. If you are feeling stuck and frustrated with never having time to get properly dressed due to child needs or go to yoga because there are too many scheduling conflicts with family members, you’re going to feel bad. Your self esteem and confidence take a big hit when everyone in your life takes priority over you.
You need to meet new people. A positive female friendship is a breath of fresh air for a mom who adores her family and wants to be at her best for them. You may want to meet other moms or women without children for a new perspective. You’ll both have things you admire about the other person’s life, and discussing challenges with solutions as the goal can be empowering in addition to feeling camaraderie along your journey to have a healthy family and a healthy, happy you.
As we talk about how to meet new people, I’m going to direct you online, moms, since it seems the best way to find a group to meet with in person locally or get together with via phone, Skype or Google Hangout. Pinterest is a great place to get visuals of crafts and activities for children from other moms. Facebook is great for mom groups and discussions. Meetup.com may offer an array of activity-focused groups near you. If there aren’t any in your area, you can start one yourself and get pointers from mom Meetup groups in other cities by contacting them through the website. Most are looking for the same camaraderie; just be sure they are positive-minded, or their negative energy may drag you down. Also consider taking a class at a spa or going to a coffee shop at the same time each day to meet regulars to the establishment.
Are you feeling stuck in your relationship? If so, notice if you have opted out of a social life in lieu of being half of a couple. If you have, intentionally or by default, realize that you are placing too much responsibility on the relationship to serve as a your social circle in addition to your love connection. You need to meet new people. You can go as a couple or single to get-togethers and you’ll see that with positive new friends and acquaintances, you feel more balanced as a person and better in your romantic relationship. If your relationship suffers due to you meeting new people, take a very close look at the quality of the people you’re meeting and at your significant other. One or both may not live up to your new attitude of positive mindedness and being open to healthy possibilities. If this is the case, make some bold decisions to protect your mental and emotional health because you have a great future in store for you when you take good care of yourself.
Change your attitude from, “My relationship used to be so fun, and now itís drudgery,” to “I have a great social life with positive people and my relationship is more fun than ever.”
Remember to focus on meeting positive people who are not threatening to your relationship. This positive focus is the most important shift in your attitude you will ever make ó ever. If you have a challenge, look for a solution and solution-oriented people rather than those with the same issue and whose solution is to commiserate or spread their negative energy. That is how people playing the victim or martyr role seek attention. You’ll notice they don’t really want solutions because then they have to create a new attention-getting problem and that’s effort. Have you known one of these people before? Chances are that you have, and didn’t understand why you were more interested in a solution to their problem than they were. Now you know. Steer clear of problem-oriented people.
You can see how to change your attitude for all aspects of life where you feel stuck. Now you can learn how to meet new people who are fun and who provide new perspectives and opportunities. Remember that you need to be a positive person for them to want to hang out with you so focus on seeing yourself in the life you love and feel what it will feel like to already have it. Feeling is the key to creating what you want. Thinking and planning is not enough. We run on emotions so get your feeling on!
How I’ve Met New People
I’ve met new people in: local classes and chamber of commerce meetings, organizations I belong to, online classes, social media sites, Meetup groups and as a volunteer for a non-profit that champions war veterans. What are you passionate about? Google it and find groups of people with the same passion.
My attitude has always been that I want to meet new, positive people. If they turn out to be negative, complainers or criticize others, I move away from them and toward those who build each other up and cheer each other on.
I’ve met several of my good friends via introduction from someone else and the person who introduced us isn’t in my life any longer. That’s why I remind you to see meeting new people as a pipeline to other people and opportunities you may not see as immediately relevant.
For more information on developing and nurturing YOU to live the life you deserve, sign up for my free weekly Positive Women Rock Tip and get my free ebook and audio book, “Women: 5 Mistakes We Make That Give Our Power Away.” Visit PositiveWomenRock.com and click on the “Gift” page.
This article originally appeared on YourTango.com: How To Meet New People… By Changing Your Attitude.