Weird Questions You Don’t Want to Ask Your Vet

Got a question for your vet but too embarrassed to ask? Dr. Khuly answers some odd, gross and downright silly questions!

1. Why do some dogs have hair in their ears and some don’t?

Arctic vs. non-Arctic breeds, mostly. Dogs who must survive in cold climes are more likely to have hairy ears. That’s an easy one. Next…?

2. Why does my dog like to stare into my eyes and hold eye contact (not when he wants food or something)?

I will have to ask a behaviorist (or twelve) to get a better handle on this one but here’s what I suspect: Dog domestication has evolved patchily over the last eon or so. Greater domestication is accompanied by behavioral traits that include the very human (and much less dog-like) eye contact thing.

Extended eye contact among dogs is verboten unless you want to spar, but domesticated dogs have come to associate eye contact with humans as a way to get things from us. Wilder dogs (like Morgan) would never deign to beg in this way but happy dogs like Maddie fall all over themselves to get your attenshun* any way they can.

See Also: 10 Fun Dog Facts (Slideshow)

3. Did yoga develop from watching dogs? They totally do a downward dog thing.

Yes. Yogis obviously engage in bio-thievery. They totally stole the pose from dogs.

4. Why do dogs’ pads sometimes smell like evergreen meets rosin? And other times like corn chips?

Knowing your dogs I’d say it depends on the season, the hiking terrain and moisture levels. Got moist feet? Then maybe you’ve got yeast growing there; that can kind of smell like corn chips.

Hiking among the evergreens? Voilà.

5. What is the purpose of a dewclaw?

Vestigial; which means it no longer has a purpose. It is in the process of being evolutionarily rejected, which is why so many purebred and sporting dog owners want them lopped off.

6. Why do some dogs poop every morning like clockwork and other dogs is not as regular?

Why does my receptionist constantly complain of constipation in spite of an Activia habit, and my acupuncturist not-so-subtly tut-tut that my elimination habits are more frequent than most?

Get over it! As long as everything that goes in comes out and no impact on health results … who the frick cares?

7. Why do they say dogs can’t go into restaurants for health reasons — what health reasons?

They lie. Or rather … they are ignorant. They excuse the feverish sneezes of a human child in the table at the front of the restaurant as “cute” while a dog’s under-the-table snores are regarded as “the devil’s music.” (I’m making stuff up now.)

Honestly, I think most restaurants are more worried about dog bites and liability insurance than they are about any health risks. That or they truly are as stupid as all get-out.

8. What makes dog saliva so slippery?

I think I’ve also overheard that it’s the world’s best natural lubricant. Truly, however, I have no answer, other than to note that cat saliva is also incredibly viscous. Maybe someone else out there knows…?

9. If a dog’s tail hangs over its anus why doesn’t it ever get really dirty?

I’m not sure which way to go with this one but I think I’ll err on the side of biology:

Dogs have a lot more natural oils on their fur than we do on our human hairs. These oils repel the mucosal exterior of most dog stool. But that’s not universally true. By virtue of their hairy genetics, some dogs have finer, longer, less oily hair (think Maltese). That’s what a groomer’s “sanitary clip” was invented for: clean tails.

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Oddball Pet Questions Answered…Finally! originally appeared on

By Dr. Patty Khuly, PetMD

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Kathy Perez
Kathy Johnson3 years ago

thanks.. i think

Dale Overall

Delightful and amusing. What fun! Dogs are welcome in restaurants in France and other countries depending on where you live. There are even Cat Cafes where patrons can watch the cats who live in the cafe relax. (The cats have many places to go when they tire of human company).

Dale Overall

Intriguing, purrhaps and maybe. In France a lot of people bring their dogs to restaurants and have no problems and even ask for doggie bags.

Anne R.
Anne R.3 years ago

You are cool vet. A couple of the questions were unusual, but your sense of
humor is great. It was a funny read. :)

Sarah M.
Sarah M.3 years ago


devon leonard
Devon Leonard3 years ago

fun writer.....!!

Carrie Anne Brown

interesting article, thanks for sharing :)

J.L. A.
JL A.3 years ago

enlivened the day

Dotti Lydon
Dotti Lydon3 years ago

I would not hesitate to ask my Vet any of these questions. The one about why dogs eat their own poo was not on the list.

Dotti Lydon
Dotti Lydon3 years ago

I would not hesitate to ask my Vet any of these questions. The one about why dogs eat their own poo was not on the list.