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What is Holding Your Happiness Hostage?

I admit it…my happiness is being held hostage. I’ve been buying into the when/then Big Fat Lie BIG TIME. And it doesn’t feel so good!

I made a video for you that is probably the most vulnerable video to date where I spill the beans about the big desire I have for this year, that has yet to come true. (I’m actually feeling nervous even sending this out…maybe I’m sharing too much about this heartache?) Click below to watch it and let me know what you think.

What is holding your happiness hostage? The weight? The soulmate that has yet to appear? The money?

It’s time to take your power and happiness back! Watch the video and join me.

I’m sending you love and hope this video makes a difference in your life.

With unstoppable love,



P.S.  Attention: Women Visionaries with Great Work To Give…do you want to hang out with me for 4 days in wine country and vision your 2013? I’m so excited about the Great Work Retreat that I’m co-leading in January with my soul sisters, Christine Arylo & Shiloh Sophia.

>>Go here for all the deets and to apply<<

This retreat is a small group mastermind vision quest for 30 visionary women up to big things in the world….and we are nearly half full, so don’t delay.

Check it on out now. I’d LOVE to be with you!


Please let me know below what has been holding your happiness hostage and how you will take your power and happiness back!

Read more: Career, General Health, Health, Inspiration, Life, Mental Wellness, Self-Help, Spirit, Stress, , , , , , , , , ,

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Amy Ahlers

Amy Ahlers, the Wake-Up Call Coach, is the bestselling author of Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves. A certified Life Coach, speaker & author, she is taking a STAND for women to stop being so hard on themselves and start loving themselves instead. Join her community of nearly 40k souls who are committed to waking up to the voice of their Inner Wisdom & cultivating the courage to act on it. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter and make sure to go here to claim your free Inner Superstar Kit so you can shine bright!


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4:06AM PDT on May 19, 2013


10:29PM PDT on May 18, 2013


7:04AM PST on Feb 18, 2013

For me this is the million dollar question............I have struggled with finding this, for me, elusive happiness.

10:45AM PST on Jan 11, 2013

I apologize.

9:22PM PST on Jan 10, 2013

I'm sorry, Sandra D., but you're wrong about what I meant. I was making a comment about how uncomfortable I felt about myself, but you tried to turn it into a 'lesson". I do need someone, who needs me. It's not ridiculous. I don't want to be complete on my own. I think life is meant to be about the important connections to people you need in your life. Your chosen family, connected by love.

I'm not telling you how you should feel or live your life, so please, don't do that to me. Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my comment, but I was not asking for help.

7:56PM PST on Jan 10, 2013

Valerie R.—I'm sorry you've struggled with countering the negative messages in your life. Please understand that the words that replay in your heads are in the voices of those who said those things to you. When you have a thought that you know is from those past people, challenge it. "You're ugly," it says. Look at yourself in a mirror. I'll bet you have something lovely you can find.

She mentioned faith in her pregnancy happening. I'll add faith for understanding if it doesn't happen the way she imagines.

Often that is the trap we fall into. We imagine what he or she will look like. We imagine how they will behave that tells us they love us. We build our ideal and somewhere in the back of our minds we compare every potential person-of-interest to our imagination. Check your thoughts and perhaps you'll find you need to erase some expectations so your checklist for a mate is about absolutes.

Soulmates come in unusual packages, too. A person who loves you may not love you back in the same WAY that you love them; however, they will love you in their own way and likely it measures up. It's not a game of scoring.

You wrote something interesting: "My head tells me that the idea of someone actually NEEDING ME is ridiculous." Thank goodness it is ridiculous. You don't need to be needed and others who NEED to be needed are going to circle you into codependency. You need to whole; no one completes you. The other person needs to be whole as well, a complete person who k

11:37AM PST on Jan 9, 2013

I really desperately need to find my soulmate, and I'm not happy without him. You mention having faith that your pregnancy will happen. It would be one thing if I was sure it was going to happen, but I'm not. I'm not sure that anyone could love me as much as I love them. That anyone could be the right person I need, and I could be the right person they need. My head tells me that the idea of someone actually needing ME is ridiculous.

When it comes to things like my writing, I know I'm meant to write and put stories out into the world, so it's okay if it takes a while to happen. I feel safe knowing that I'm on the right path with that. But it doesn't work that way with my soulmate, because I was told all my life how ugly, messed up, and unwanted I am. It was bullied into me that no one could ever love me like that. And no one ever has; I haven't had a single relationship in my life. So, I just can't truly believe it until it happens. If it ever does.

7:23AM PST on Jan 7, 2013

Thank You for sharing your journey. Thank you for making me realize that when/then is big fat lie, I needed to hear that. Another soul will be added to your family as soon as you relax, I have met couples that tried to have children for years, decided to adopt, and become pregnant during or shortly after the adoption process. Blessed Be

11:33PM PST on Jan 6, 2013

Thanks much Amy. For me, it seems a promise of the right relationship at an older age..past 50 is what I look to for happiness...however... I know happiness is an inside job ..first and I constantly dp the therapy/ psychological work on this.

12:33PM PST on Jan 5, 2013

Happiness is held hostage when we live like we need to pay a ransom. Much organized twisted religious dogma and conservative regressive environments pollutes our psyche and holds happiness beyond reach. Our egoism generates our devotion to the material consumption and away from seeking our spiritual path.The ethos of instant gratification has been largely become major pursuit; this contamination of our souls diminished our preparation to receive the divine light and grace of the Universal creator. Because of our poisoned duality of existence we have zero realization of oneness which is the essence of bliss and joy. We can arise to make the vessels of our hearts ready to receive the light. There are several paths for contemplation, meditation, yoga, ancient teaching of the wisdom of Kabbalah. (Free Bnei Baruch fundamental, intermediate and Advanced courses on line. Check Bestowal is the key.

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