It’s funny because when you ask people what they are looking for in a mate, you most often hear things like: smart, good-looking, good job, chemistry, similar interests … you know, the basics. However, recently I was having this discussion with a girlfriend Julie who has been out on tons of dates, but hadn’t been too impressed.
Just the other day I got a call. There was complete excitement on the line. Julie was telling me that she had met someone she really liked. Yay! Finally! I was so super excited for her, we had to meet for lunch to talk about the guy.
“So, tell me about him!” I said. The first thing that came out of her mouth was this: “He’s normal.” I love it.
Yep, normal. As we dive in a bit, we both agree that this is one thing people seem to be missing these days. Normalcy. Normalness (it’s a word, right?). These days it seems like there is nothing but drama, fakery, the housewives, the Jersey Shore, the one-up sickness — it’s like everyone has to have something surrounding them.
I mean, excitement is fun and all but sometimes, you just want someone to be a normal person. No drama, no extreme issues, no quirky hangups, no excessive baggage — just cool and normal.
It’s a compliment beyond all compliments really. There are tons of hot people out there, they’re a dime a dozen. There are tons of talented people out there. Tons of smart people too. But normal … not tons. In fact— Julie told me that out of the last six guys she has dated — this is the only normal dude.
The first had mommy issues— she wasn’t if sure the umbilical cord was actually cut. The second guy had a “manageable” (his words) drug problem. The third guy was a constant name dropper. Every time they went out, he had to tell her what celeb he was buddies with or what sports figure was his workout partner. The fourth was crazy jealous from date number two. She was not about to deal with that. Potential psycho. The fifth, she told me, was just a douche, no other way to put it. And finally — number six— normal!
Normal!!! Seriously folks — bells and sirens are going off in the background — ladies and gentleman, she has won the prize— a normal guy!
So what exactly is normal in this case? Well Julie is happy to report that Chad had a happy childhood despite the fact that his parents split when he was eight. His parents remain friends and they’ve both remarried. He has two sisters and they get along well. He has a job he actually likes! He works out, but he’s not a crazy work out freak. He likes to go out and he’s cool staying in.
He likes music — the same kind of music Julie likes! Bonus, he likes to go to concerts. He’s not angry or bitter. He’s battled the past and forgiven. He doesn’t feel like he has to prove anything to anyone. They have great conversation and incredible chemistry. He calls when he says he will, but he’s not needy or overbearing. He respects her and gives her space — but not too much space. It seems so natural. So normal.
You can revise your perfect mate wish list now. Be sure to add normal to the top of the list!
What does “normal” mean to you?
More Juicy Content from YourTango:
More Great Content from Care2:
Marina Sbrochi is the IPPY award-winning author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life. Read more of her work at www.stoplookingforahusband.com. She’s a freelance contributor for the fast growing online magazine for women GalTime.com.