Why Is It So Hard To Trust Myself?
I want you to know that you are worth listening to. Your intuition, your gut, your higher self knows who you really are. It offers you guidance all day, every single day. Your only tasks are to ask, to listen, and to act accordingly.
You need only to believe that this is the truth when you hear it. This is your truth.
In the beginning, you were one. Your brain and your heart were intact, one magically cohesive partnership, working to support you in making decisions, preparing to guide you along the path that is most true for you.
This is the truth. One whole, complete, powerful creature, is the way you were in the beginning.
But, this isn’t the way that you are experiencing life right now. When you are blessed with an invitation to make decisions about your direction on this path, you feel uncertain. You feel disoriented. You feel as if you can’t actually tell which of the choices is the best one for you.
While you ache to live in alignment with what is true for you, you may feel overwhelmed by uncertainty.
You worry that you can’t tell which thing is true for you.
Know this: Your truth is known by you — not by your partner or your friend, an expert or a guru. Your truth is an endless, natural spring that bubbles up from deep within you and nourishes you always.
Your truth lives and thrives within you, even if you’ve forgotten to listen or turned away from the whispers for months or years. It lives within you, even if you don’t believe you’ve ever met it. You cannot outrun your truth, even if you try. She, who is you, will never give up on you.
It takes only setting your intention to return to her, to your true self, for your world to begin to shift in that direction.
What interferes is the past. Because you didn’t have the resources to heal them properly, the old wounds have built up between your heart and your mind. The baggage occupying space between your thinking self and your feeling self, interferes with the communication, creating doubt and confusion.
You may have leaned too heavily on your heart, searching for your truth in relationships that did not serve you. Or you may have turned away from your heart, looking for answers in the mind, searching so logically and reasonably for that which could make you make sense. Alone, neither the heart or the mind are enough to sustain you.
Fear not, this is not broken, or lost, forever. You will release that which no longer serves you, and in time the gap between the two will be less and less. Answers will come with ease, for clarity is your nature. You are journeying back to the truth of who you are.
How do I find my way back to her, to the one who knows?
Ask questions, even simple ones that you already know the answer to, and notice how it feels to ask and receive messages. Notice your breath, your heart, the feeling in your stomach. What does your mind do with the information once it bubbles up? How does the truth feel in your body?
Then, ask questions that are less obvious but for which the outcome holds modest consequences. Do I want pizza or pasta for dinner? Should I call this friend or that one? Is it better to schedule this appointment for this week or next? Again, notice your body. Notice how it feels to make decisions for yourself, and to follow through. Watch what consequences arise from your decisions.
When you live in alignment with your truth, asking and acting on those intuitive answers, you are guided to choose more powerful experiences. An intuitively guided life is, quite simply, a more magical life.
When you’re ready, begin asking the big ones. Is it time to release this job? Do I want to have another child? Is this relationship true for me?
Don’t be afraid to ask, or to open yourself to the answers. This information does not command that you take immediate action, although sometimes that will feel true. Just ask, and be still until you hear what’s true for you. Sit with that knowing. Action is a separate step, one that will be taken in good time, and you mustn’t allow it to keep you from asking.
Your heart will speak the truth, and your brain will rise up to keep you safe, but always out of love. Never let your brain disregard your heart from a place of fear. For that matter, never let your heart disregard your brain out of a place of fear. No true action is ever taken from a place of fear. Act from love, always.
Until the heart and mind are as one again, be aware of their separateness, and wait for a response from both. And as you release and heal those old wounds, you’ll find that it’s easier to remember to ask for guidance. The answers will come more swiftly, loudly, and clearly. The self-doubt that used to settle over you, that discouraged you, has already begun to fade away.
Most importantly, Wild One, remember this. The most effective way to increase your intuition is to honor the messages you receive. When your gut says leave, leave. When you hear that it isn’t true, don’t do it. When it bubbles up that you miss someone, call them. When you feel called to take that class, go to that event, or connect with that particular individual — for the love of all things glittery — do it.
Take that action, for it is the sound of your intuition guiding you home.