If you read the title of this post and promptly started heating up the skillet for some bacon with your bacon, you’re not alone.
The past couple of months, it seems research is set on showing us that quite a few of us would give up sex for, well, just about anything that isn’t sex, especially if it comes with a side of fries.
When Gazelle.com asked 1,000 people if they’re rather go without sex or their iPhones for a weekend, 15 percent said they’d skip all that tedious sex, thankyouverymuch. And of course, there are those of us who believe we can and should have it all. Which, for 4 percent of the survey’s participants, translates to just using their iPhone while having sex. Keeping it classy!
A whole bunch of us would also choose a good night’s sleep over sex—61 percent, according to the albeit possibly biased Better Sleep Council. And according to Cosmopolitan, 20 percent of women would rather give up sex for a week than give up looking at their friends’ Facebook photos. Obviously, these ladies should chat with the iPhone users for tips on how to multitask more effectively.
But what trumps it all? Food. Bon Appetit found that 75 percent of people would give up sex for their favorite food, but I guess if you’re a Bon Appetit reader and have the ability to just casually throw together some short ribs braised with red wine and unicorn tears, maybe that’s not so crazy. What is just a little crazy: Maple Leaf Foods, Inc., a bacon producer, found that 43 percent of Canadians would choose bacon over sex. Either 43% of Canadians are being bribed with a lifetime supply of bacon, or they reeeeally like their pork over there. I mean, that’s just silly, Canada! Bacon’s great, but it’s not going to keep you warm at night. (But pancakes will!)
‘Fess up in the comments: what would you give up sex for? Or, if you think these surveys are bananas, what would you give up in order to have more (or better, or any) sex? Pizza? Your job? Your first-born?