Start A Petition

Fox: New Evidence Hillary Killed Lincoln - Andy Borowitz

Offbeat  (tags: Andy Borowitz, humor, Hillary Clinton, Abraham Lincoln, Fox News )

- 1832 days ago -
In what may be the most serious allegation ever made against the former Secretary of State, Fox News Channel reported today that Hillary Clinton was involved in the conspiracy to murder President Abraham Lincoln.

Select names from your address book   |   Help

We hate spam. We do not sell or share the email addresses you provide.


Angelika R (143)
Monday May 13, 2013, 12:33 pm
*** With Kit being away currently, I thought I "owe you" this... Hillary-ious ***

In what may be the most serious allegation ever made against the former Secretary of State, Fox News Channel reported today that Hillary Clinton was involved in the conspiracy to murder President Abraham Lincoln.

The latest charge against Mrs. Clinton was reported by Fox host Sean Hannity, who said that the evidence of her role in the Lincoln assassination came mainly in the form of e-mails.

According to Mr. Hannity, "If it's true that Hillary Clinton killed Lincoln, this could have a major impact on her chances in 2016."

The accusation against Mrs. Clinton drew a strong response from Sen. Lindsey Graham (R.-S. Carolina): "There's been a concerted effort by Hillary Clinton to cover up her role in President Lincoln's murder. She has said nothing about it. This is bigger than Watergate, the Cuban missile crisis, and the Second World War put together."

Responding to the allegation, Mrs. Clinton issued a terse statement indicating that she could not have participated in Lincoln's assassination because she was born in 1947.

"That's what she wants us to believe," Sen. Graham said.

David C (131)
Monday May 13, 2013, 1:10 pm
...and Mr. Obama held the gun...........

David C (131)
Monday May 13, 2013, 1:11 pm
thanks for the laugh.....

Pat B (356)
Monday May 13, 2013, 1:25 pm
Thanks, Angelika for my dose of Andy.!! ;-)

Tim C (2420)
Monday May 13, 2013, 1:27 pm

Melva H (93)
Monday May 13, 2013, 1:43 pm
Is there anyone who'd be surprised at such an announcement? Remember when the GOPers said President Clinton & Hillary had a rented apartment in D.C where they personally murdered 42 people?? I don't think anyone will ever top THAT 'claim'.

Angelika R (143)
Monday May 13, 2013, 2:06 pm
say WHAT Melva? LMAO, no, that one passed me by.. but it reminds me of the rumors circulating the net about dubia doing annual satanic rituals in a remote secret place sacrifycing a baby..didn't originate from the rethugs I guess.. but sure equalises that claim you mention

Connie O (44)
Monday May 13, 2013, 4:19 pm

Lynn D (0)
Monday May 13, 2013, 6:04 pm

Donna G (42)
Monday May 13, 2013, 6:29 pm
I've left my comment on the RSN site. Be sure to let us know when the video clip from FN goes viral.

Ruby S (44)
Monday May 13, 2013, 6:58 pm

Effie Ligon (57)
Monday May 13, 2013, 7:02 pm
It is just about as sane as some of the other stuff they come up with! LOL

DaleLovesOttawa O (198)
Monday May 13, 2013, 8:22 pm
Just think, Faux unNews gains control of a time machine and goes on trips throughout history...changing all of history in the historical Time Line to bring life events more in line with the perspective of Faux disinformation. Of course, all progressive events in the history of humankind will be prevented from happening and we will now be at the evolutionary level of an amoeba and still living in caves.

Ben O (171)
Tuesday May 14, 2013, 1:33 am
FOX News; -Telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth...
...So help us all!!! : ~ [

Past Member (0)
Tuesday May 14, 2013, 5:31 am

Elizabeth Fuller (134)
Tuesday May 14, 2013, 6:35 am
lol, :) Angie, thanks, wishing fox viewer would see fox for what their worth tho...

Donna Hamilton (159)
Tuesday May 14, 2013, 7:17 am
Thanks for the laugh!

Melva H (93)
Tuesday May 14, 2013, 8:14 am
Angelika, I suspect the Zombies, led by Cheney and Rove, give birth to the most stupid accucations and statements. It's a good ploy to disrupt, distract, delay anything that would in any way help the "commoners" and the country. Did you see the Rethug Senator announce that 'Middle Class are ones who make $250,000 a year.'
I don't believe he's actually that ignorant, but it throws another log on the fire and gets attention, while they work to keep Congress from doing their job of Working WITH the President to run the country! I believe the GOP is willing to destroy the country if they can't own and control Everyone and Everything.

Suzanne L (99)
Tuesday May 14, 2013, 8:16 am
Thanks Angelika. Obviously Hillary perfected a time travel machine during her spare time.

divergent revolution (309)
Tuesday May 14, 2013, 12:39 pm
even more perplexing.
the abolitionists were republican,after watching Speilberg's movie, have more questions that anwers
seems the dems were fraidy cats,and the grand ole party was the party of higher ground,morally
still many voted against abolition,totally is wrecking my ideas about party politics.
thanks Angie
Or, log in with your
Facebook account:
Please add your comment: (plain text only please. Allowable HTML: <a>)

Track Comments: Notify me with a personal message when other people comment on this story

Loading Noted By...Please Wait


butterfly credits on the news network

  • credits for vetting a newly submitted story
  • credits for vetting any other story
  • credits for leaving a comment
learn more

Most Active Today in Offbeat

Content and comments expressed here are the opinions of Care2 users and not necessarily that of or its affiliates.

New to Care2? Start Here.