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Last Living Whale on Earth to Be Auctioned Off


Environment  (tags: protection, whaling, japan )

Claudia
- 111 days ago - thespoof.com
Tokyo, Japan - Once upon a time in a blue ocean not far from you swam gigantic peaceful creatures called whales.
Comments

Claudia Peters (325)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 2:31 am
Tokyo, Japan - Once upon a time in a blue ocean not far from you swam gigantic peaceful creatures called whales.

There were so many of these peaceful creatures that no one could count them all. Everyone in the whole world knew that these peaceful whales never harmed a single man.
Yet men liked to kill whales to eat them. Men liked the taste of their flesh, and when they were done eating them they liked to make trophies out of their bones.

And there were so many more men in boats than whales that there was no place for the whales to hide, not even at the ends of the Earth.

That's why Onokedo Corporation has announced they are proud to offer for sale the last living whale on Earth. Captured hiding off an Antarctic glacier, this one hundred ton, sixty foot female beauty can be yours if the price is right. This final whale will be sold to the highest bidder and all sales are final. You can not afford to miss this opportunity to own the last breathing whale on Earth.

Don't have the facilities to butcher a whole whale? No problem. Don't want to bother cleaning up all the tons of lifeless blood and guts? Who would! Onokedo Corp says let them professionally slaughter and butcher this rare last whale for you, for a small additional fee of course.

You say you'll never be able to eat all of this great whale in one life time? That's OK too. Let Onokedo Corp resell as much or as little of the meat as you want. Think of the money you'll make as you sell expensive whale steaks. Buy low, sell high and get rich.

This is the last living whale on Earth. Don't miss this great opportunity.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

But what if this is what it is coming too ???
 

Karen S. (96)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 3:06 am
Too ba dthis storyt is "R" rated for violence and obscenity......it would make a great children's book.
 

Sheila G. (244)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 4:03 am
Grimms's fairy tales, always so frightening, but this is one we may not be able to tell our children is only make believe, humans are vile enough for this to happen.
 

Margaret S. (84)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 4:10 am
What if.....hope that day never comes!!
 

Kelly c. (103)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 4:42 am
Thank you Claudia! I hope that never happens too!
 

Katrin F. (202)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 4:45 am
If we don't stop the killing...this day comes. Thanks Claudia.
 

Rain Away no message pls (162)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 5:04 am
My heart is still breaking from the last Whale Wars. 4 whales were slaughtered in 6 hours! With all that is in me I hope that we can stop this story from EVER taking place! All those reading please support Sea Shepherd, risking their lives to save the whales. Blessings, Rain
 

Cheree Million (133)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 5:05 am
Noted. I pray it doesn't come to that. thanks
 

Chaz Gaily Berlusconi (256)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 7:22 am
Thannnx.. but as you say.. this could be the real thing if the japanese are not controlled, they can't seem to get the bigger picture now can they...
 

Sharen B. (44)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 7:50 am
A change in life style would do the Japanese good. All of us could change our lifestyle to let fish and mammal population reproduce back up to the numbers they once were. But, no.... to much greed, what a bunch of piglets we are..
 

bernadettemp P. (74)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 8:24 am
thnk cadia that good news o hoe they dont kill it
 

Tierney G. (310)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 8:59 am
I pray to God this never ever happens! Oh my it would be horrible. I love whales. Don't even want to think about it but have to, to save them.
Thanks Claudia
 

Glenda Jasper (24)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 9:10 am
Everything comes full circle Claudia and all will prevail in the name of all ocean life and other species, unfortunately we do not have the means to correct this as we speak (well there is but it's not legal).
There is another plan for us all, the people on this Planet are changing rapidly and mentally they are removing our Giant Whales for the cause of greed.
 

Michelle M. (83)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 9:15 am
Thankq Claudia. Very "grimm" indeed...
 

AnimalSpirit M. (59)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 10:00 am
OMG!!! Just Breaks My Heart!!!!! Always has Always will !! All we can do is Keep Fighting for Them ,We Love & Respect Our Ocean Life so Deeply and All Our Land Animals!!!!!
 

marilyn s. (103)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 10:23 am
Noted with falling tears, can't see.
 

Claudia Peters (325)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 11:09 am
If the whaling countries don't stop whaling
If the pollution of the Oceans doesn't stop
If Global Warming isn't reduced,this day is coming
And we can read and show our kids and our childrens children,whales from out of books
 

Jennifer Ppopoli (1)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 12:32 pm
Like Marilyn, signed with falling tears...
 

Ingrid Sternberg (1)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 12:33 pm
If it is true and we are reincarnated. Those who commit these terrible deeds will come back as a whale and hopefully remember what they did in their former life. What goes around comes around.
 

Janet Solomon (251)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 12:34 pm
Thank you Claudia---if the whales GO, we're doomed.
Why don't the PEOPLE go?
[oh yeah, that's happennig too]

Namaste! xo and asana sana~~ sadly.
 

Elvira S. (43)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 12:35 pm
Whaling must stop. As a group of animal protectors, let's send positive vibrations into the universe and save the whales. Thoughts will become actions and actions will lead to results. Look at Paul Watson, he never let go of his goal and he will succeed with the help of others who share his mindset.
Mass consciousness can be very powerful, lets all focus our thoughts and save the whales. We can do it!
 

Kory M. (0)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 12:57 pm
If You want Japan tp stop Their Illegal Slaughter of whales, hit them in the Pocketbook. DONT BUY ANYTHING MADE IN JAPAN AND LET THEM KNOW ABOUT IT.
 

Aletta Kraan (31)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 1:09 pm
Noted , thanks !!
 

Bee Hive Lady (315)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 1:10 pm
Horrible thought but it may come true,
 

Rosemary Pneumonia NO Fwds (291)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 1:49 pm
This satire is sick but does illustrate the 'end game' for the Japanese.
I am posting a link below which also illustrates and 'end game' that is sick. Focusing on the demand in the US for seafood clearly also shows that we, the 'collective citizenry' , the ones who choose to consume seafood, must be held accountable for the continuation of whaling and overfishing of tuna and other fish.
This is the link > http://www.allbusiness.com/trade-development/international-trade-export/11811063-1.html

The Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries (農林水産大臣, Nōrin Suisan Daijin?), or Nōsui-shō (農水相?), is the Cabinet of Japan member in charge of the Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries. The current minister is Shigeru Ishiba. > http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minister_of_Agriculture,_Forestry_and_Fisheries_(Japan)

MINISTER IN CHARGE > http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shigeru_Ishiba

Elections upcoming may oust Taro Aso out of power and hopefully with prayers rising, replace him with someone whose leadership skills include a consciousness of compassion.
 

Shirley H. (33)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 2:19 pm
Ha, I DON'T BELIEVE A WORD OF THIS - WATCH WHALE WARS.
Shirley. H.
 

Nan B. (50)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 2:59 pm
Claudia, it already feels like this is what it has come to not coming to. This is so heart wrenchining and pathetic I can barley stand it. I look at all of this and it seems to me to be a power struggle between man and animal. How do you tell a killer to grow up and get over it, because that is what needs to happen. There are a few States and Countries that I will not buy any types of products from. It’s not the fact that I think they will be shy on profits, but because of my love, care and concern for our Beautiful Critters. It’s not fair to them so it’s not fair for me!!!!!!!!!! This is the outlook on a really bad possible situation.
Thank you caring Claudia
 

Jonathan B. (8)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 4:02 pm
The actual nightmare story of the last living whale will NOT involve some Japanese corporation selling the last whale on the open market, but will more likely involve the constant release of estrogenic compounds in our water supplies, waterways and oceans.

It may well be that the last living whale will perish while being watched and protected lovingly by the last living male human, who will soon join his whale brother in oblivion.

The sperm count of European males has dropped by 50% in the last fifty years, and the rest of human males at almost the same drop.

The decrease is being impacted by the industrial pollution of chemicals that act like estrogen, including soy products, food waste, and undigested birth control pills released into the water.

Those of the population who detest males may give a cheer at our demise, but this loss of males is occuring in all species.

If there are no male animals, fish, or shellfish, then eating may get seriously vegan, or impossible as the passing of male bees leads to hive collapse, and the loss of ALL pollinated plants.

After the loss of the last male human, the rest of the human race may find its limited time being spent feeding on fungi, earthworms, algae, and other food sources that do not involve pollenated plants or any animal food sources.

Soylent green. It is not just for Chuck Heston any more.
 

Pamela Mendoza (126)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 4:10 pm
Sissy, you never cease to amaze me. Thought a lot of what you said in being angry. How right you were and still are. I did challenge them with an option. It is so sad that only human, civilized people only have that much love of the animals and world to ask that question. You are looking at the big picture. You know you got a big A in my book for that question. Barbarians only look at the greedy part of a very small icon. That is because they do not have the brain to ask the question about the future. If there is know profit for them, than their is know gain, that's how narrow minded these people are. By the way, Please go have fun with family tommorrow and a very big Happy Birthday. Love Sissy
 

Kane S. (3)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 6:07 pm
Thanks Claudia, I donated to the Sea Shepherd recently, I wish that I could give more to support Paul Watson
and his crews. Maybe some day I'll get the opportunity to serve on-board one of his ships and fight for the
whales and other sea mammals.
 

Raffi OUT-NO POSTSPLZ (339)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 7:27 pm
Brilliantly written with incredible impact! What a pathetic world this is...of greed, selfishness and waste, cruelty and misplaced values...
 

Red N. (201)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 8:36 pm
Brilliant article! Bit like Racheal Carsons silent spring..except thats allready happening because of pesticides and biocides :(
There's a similar scenario in the dark faery tale 'Beauty' by Sheri S. Tepper, theres also a bit in it where the last exsiting vegetable on earth is a radish and someone pays lots of money to eat it with the world watching and they just go "plah" and spit it out and they film it bouncing onto the dirt and wasted. Theres also a disturbing bit about mega cities and people trying to commit suicide by throwing themselves in rubbish shutes but so many people do it that it becomes blocked...its a really disturbing but inspiring and beautiful story worth a read.
I hope that the future never ends up like that.....
 

Debbie Logue (89)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 8:57 pm
Dear Claudia,so sad to think of a world without these beautiful creatures.But can we really control what Japan and other countries do?I truly hope that there is some way to make people understand what is happening to our oceans!Your friend always,Debbie
 

Songbird Having lots of pain (377)
Tuesday August 18, 2009, 9:04 pm
This is more than a horrible thought its going to happen if it keeps up. From reading makes me cry. Why don't they just Stop It!!! I don't buy from none of them that kill them I will Boycott them all the way and have been for a long time. I have done with out a few things but you know what I don't give a rats butt, I'm sick of the killings. Hit them where it hurts Boycott there hind end real good..
 

Alfred Donovan (24)
Wednesday August 19, 2009, 3:47 am
This was very well writen piece of satire which if somthing is not done soon may very well come to pass.Lets hope that goodsense will prevail in the end.
 

Art F. (0)
Wednesday August 19, 2009, 4:30 am
We destroy anything and every thing of beauty. Look at what is planned for the wolves of Idaho. We only know how to kill be it animals or each other. Al with the pretence of Jobs, financial loss or gain.It really does get to me . Health , love , n Peace
 

Sharen B. (44)
Wednesday August 19, 2009, 8:02 am
Also, fishing. No more nets, ever! Lets go back to the pole and catch fish like we should, if we should. Big nets=small minds.
 

Mandi T. (265)
Wednesday August 19, 2009, 10:24 am
OMG, please don't let this ever happen. Somehow, someday, someway. That's why The Sea Shepards fight so hard. It is waaaaay to close to happening.
They have to be stopped NOW!!
I pray we never see whales in a book, instead of IN our oceans!
Tx dear Claudia
 

Mandi T. (265)
Wednesday August 19, 2009, 10:25 am
And DITTO what Rain Said :((
 

Nancy aka Lightfoot (67)
Wednesday August 19, 2009, 10:25 am
I hope we never see this day! Thanks Claudia for sharing.
 

Neal R. (10)
Wednesday August 19, 2009, 3:51 pm
That is so emotive and poignant it should be syndicated in every newspaper!!
 

Daniela R. (0)
Wednesday August 19, 2009, 4:54 pm
We must end this!!!
Come on is $$$ more important than lifes? Gods creations?? I dont think so...
 

Iveta Seidlova (12)
Thursday August 20, 2009, 2:44 am
OMG :(
 

Gorilly Girl (371)
Thursday August 20, 2009, 5:00 am
IF People dont pull thier heads out of thier assess and truley accept the beauty of all species and allow them life this IS what is going to happen!!!! WE HAVE TO KEEP FIGHTING FOR THEM ALL....Just blogging about them isnt going to help in the long run WE HAVE TO REACT!!!!! Get off your butts and do something.....

Big Gorilly Hugs
 

Winefred M. (72)
Thursday August 20, 2009, 5:42 am
Well said Claudia,it's noted. And thank you!
 

Vicky aka Moonflower (394)
Thursday August 20, 2009, 6:17 am
The very thought is horrendous...I hope and pray this NEVER happens.
 

Dee C. (514)
Thursday August 20, 2009, 4:46 pm
Thanks Claudia..
 

Richelle R. (33)
Friday August 21, 2009, 2:45 pm
Sick & selfish Japanese A$$hole! Sorry, but I feel strongly about this. Anyone who thinks $$ is more important than life makes me mad.
 

David t. (294)
Friday August 21, 2009, 3:07 pm
Thanks Claudia,noted with great sadness.
 

Glyn P. (2)
Friday August 21, 2009, 3:53 pm
Unfortunately , the day may come when there is but one remaining whale , or wolf ,etc. ,etc. ,etc............!
 

Val P. (0)
Friday August 21, 2009, 7:14 pm
this is all too scary and could very well happen in our life time. earlier this year i remember reading that the last caribbean monk seal died. and we THINK this won't happen. it's only a matter of time the way our species is so out of control breeding and consuming everything in sight.
 

Neal R. (10)
Friday August 21, 2009, 11:49 pm
Noted and posted!
 

mary f. (74)
Saturday August 22, 2009, 6:01 am
thanks claudia i hope this day never comes but the whaling goes on
 

Christoph Wuth (73)
Saturday August 22, 2009, 9:08 am
A boycott on Japanese goods won't refrain people from whaling. Mankind should set aside areas of the oceans where all fishing activities are strictly prohibited. These zones would serve as sanctuaries where sea life can freely reproduce. Only specimens found outside these areas would be available to human consumption. If this is not carried out soon, the satire about the last whale being auctioned will inevitably come true sooner than we imagine.
 

shirley Shaw (44)
Saturday August 22, 2009, 9:50 am
The Sea Shepard Conservation Society is doing everything it can to make the survial of the Whales continues ! They are out there daily trying to stop the ilegal killing of the whales and other sea animals. They should be commended for everything they do, there isnt enough ships to charter the Seas, but still they go in ice cold Antarctia every year when the Japenese do there slaughtering. They fight until they get them to stop or they run! we here yes"" BAN JAPANISE PRODUCTS""WE have ha enough of there Killing! Its gonna take all of us to get involved! not just a few but everyone Ban together! lets take them on until this stops! SEA SHEPARD RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Captain Paul Watson should be in charge of a fleet of ships at the leaste! He does what everyone else wont! He gives his life and his crew gives there's for the whales! shouldnt we do something to???
 

Mike K. (43)
Saturday August 22, 2009, 11:22 am
yes it would be a sad day indeed.Thanx Claudia!
 

Anumpeshi Aduddell (196)
Saturday August 22, 2009, 3:47 pm
What you eat, will eventually eat you!When you take life, you take your own life,wake up mankind,stop living blind
 
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