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Obama Urged to Resign Over Beyoncé Scandal -- Andy Borowitz


Society & Culture  (tags: americans, celebrity, culture, freedoms, humor )

Kit
- 585 days ago - newyorker.com
"By lip-synching the national anthem, Beyoncé has cast a dark cloud over the President's second term," said Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky). "The only way President Obama can remove that cloud is by resigning from office at once."



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Comments

Kit B. (276)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 5:04 pm
(Photo Credit: Photograph: Win McNamee/Getty)


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – A rising chorus of congressional Republicans are calling on President Obama to acknowledge that the pop singer Beyoncé lip-synched during his inaugural festivities on Monday and resign from office, effective immediately.

“By lip-synching the national anthem, Beyoncé has cast a dark cloud over the President’s second term,” said Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky). “The only way President Obama can remove that cloud is by resigning from office at once.”

While many in the media have blamed Beyoncé for the lip-synching controversy, Mr. Paul said, “We must remember that this happened on President Obama’s watch.”

Mr. Paul said that the White House’s refusal to comment on the Beyoncé crisis “only serves the argument that this President has something to hide.”

“If Beyoncé lip-synched the national anthem, how do we know President Obama didn’t lip-sync his oath of office?” he said. “If that’s the case, he’s not legally President. But just to be on the safe side, he should resign anyway.”

Mr. Paul also blasted Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for her testimony on Benghazi before the Senate today: “Her tactic of answering each and every question we asked her didn’t fool anyone.”
*******


By: Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker Magazine |
 

donald Baumgartner (4)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 5:13 pm
I feel SO SORRY for the people of KY!!!!!
 

Melva H. (93)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 5:17 pm
The surprise will be if there's NOT a few dozen GOP Angry Old White Men all over TV proclaiming this nonsense!!
 

Pat B. (354)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 5:23 pm
(If it's true), I tried lip-synching once, and I sure didn't look as good as Beyoncé did doing it.Thanks, Kit for this. LOVE ANDY!! :-)
 

Lin Penrose (92)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 5:37 pm
Thank you Kit and thank you Andy! Needed a laugh.
 

Laurie H. (710)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 5:55 pm
Unbelievable!!!!!!!! Thanks Kit for the funny!!!! Hugs********
 

Ann B. (140)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 6:07 pm
Born and raised in KY but I never voted for Rand.
 

Vicky P. (463)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 6:19 pm
lol cute
 

Mike S. (86)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 6:26 pm
Great post! Thanks for the belly laugh KIt :D
 

Arielle S. (317)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 6:37 pm
LOL....it wouldn't surprise me if the GOP actually tried this one for real.
 

Nyack Clancy (433)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 7:05 pm
Beyonce did that to hide her Kenyan accent- we all know Beyonce and Barack were born there. That ought to keep Donald Trump busy for awhile.
 

Carrie B. (309)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 7:20 pm
I so enjoy Borowitz!
 

Angelika R. (146)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 7:21 pm
thanks for the good laugh! Some even suggested Obama's speech was also lip synched ^^
 

Joanne Dixon (38)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 8:29 pm
Like Arielle ... I often need to pinch myself to remember that Borowitz is a satirist. It is so darned true to life!
 

Past Member (0)
Wednesday January 23, 2013, 9:11 pm
LOL
 

Bill K. (23)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 6:38 am
the Republicans have been lip-synching compassion for years
 

Harish S. (6)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 7:14 am
Am I on the wrong site or something? Since when did Care2 become Cracked v 1.3??
 

Gloria picchetti (287)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 7:30 am
Andy wants to run for Beyonce!
 

Kit B. (276)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 7:43 am

Who could blame him, Gloria - she is a very beautiful woman.
 

Nancy Crouse (5)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 7:52 am
This is absolutlely rediculous. If Beyonce did lip-synch what is the big deal? If she screwed up the words or her voice cracked would you ask the Preident to resign over this? The Republicans are really desperate and really nuts!
Actually, the whole inauguration was on green screen with Speilburg directing the whole thing. The special effects were great too. This should be up for an Oscar next year! Congratualtions for the Obama family for being nominated for best family in the production category. My vote is for the Obamas.
 

Kit B. (276)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 8:06 am

Oh my, this Nancy, is humor, satire, a joke - meant for a laugh.
 

Lynn Squance (231)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 1:11 pm
Go Andy!

Me neither Arielle! A bunch of lame-assed, brain dead idiots!
 

Yvonne White (231)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 1:19 pm
You forgot to put the SATIRE label in title &/or opening preface..I bet a few CONservatives nearly orgasmed!;)
 

Margery Coffey (8)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 1:20 pm
Great Job! It fooled my partner!
 

DORIS L. (61)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 1:20 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....if only it wasn't so believable!
 

Barbara F. (70)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 1:26 pm
Our Government officials have some of the best resources to Mental Health Facilities and I'm URGING THEM TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT!! How much more ridiculous can they get? Rand Paul has ALWAYS been crazy, but this is REALLY GOING OVER THE LINE!
 

Sheri Schongold (6)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 1:42 pm
Ding Dong!! That's what these guys are. What is the big deal if she lip-synced? She isn't first and won't be the last.
 

. (0)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 2:07 pm
It is funny how many news stations keep saying this isn't a story, yet keep repeating it ad nauseum. We have so much more to worry about, can the media outlets just squash this one.

I am sure a bird will fly by and poop on a car or some other bit of news will fly by that they can report on.
 

JL A. (275)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 2:11 pm
Thanks for this marvelous dose of AB Kit!
 

Robert Tomlinson (65)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 3:50 pm
Now that is funny!
 

marie Taylor clarke (166)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 4:16 pm
Noted thanks Kit
 

Rebecca Y. (26)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 4:46 pm
GOP Rand Paul just showing what sanctimoneous idiots they really are!
 

greenplanet e. (157)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 5:05 pm
"Beyonce crisis" - haha.
 

Jennifer C. (172)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 6:12 pm
Noted.
 

Ruadha S. (6)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 6:23 pm
I'm sure this is satire to Borowits, but I have no doubt Rand Paul said it seriously. I don't think the man ever listens to what he says, he just spews in the hope that someone might believe him.
 

Claudia O. (73)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 6:35 pm
Is Rand Paul actually hoping to be taken seriously?
 

Terry King (108)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 8:34 pm
Borowits!!!!!!
 

Phil Hanson (17)
Thursday January 24, 2013, 10:07 pm
Great job, Borowitz! I know satirizing Republicans is a really hard job (they often do and say crazier things than this for real), but you come through every time. Thanks for the laugh.
 

Past Member (0)
Friday January 25, 2013, 1:22 pm
HA HA HA HA HA HA thank you for posting!
 

Charlie Rush (53)
Friday January 25, 2013, 4:03 pm
If this is the 'best they got',
it's a very sad day for the Republicans.

Isn't there a seriously, intelligent person involved with this group, influential enough to 'shape these conservatives up'?
 

Diane K. (136)
Friday January 25, 2013, 9:56 pm
Hello? I can only hear laughter! thx for the funnies, Kit.
 

Roxy H. (340)
Saturday January 26, 2013, 2:29 am
o gawd lol
 

Catherine G. (13)
Saturday January 26, 2013, 2:49 am
Hardly Watergate, is it?
 

Deanna Zimmerman (74)
Sunday January 27, 2013, 4:56 pm
LOL! Noted.
 

Latonya W. (83)
Tuesday January 29, 2013, 2:22 pm
LOL people are soooooooooo sad lol I read this to laugh and boy did I laugh.....
 

Klaus Peters (11)
Friday February 8, 2013, 8:18 am
Now who was lip synching or lip smacking as I call it? Beyonce or Obama! I would rather stick with the president. Beyonce was a bad choice. Beyonce is totally off my radar, bi... and she got paid for that stupid act, "by the tax payer". Sick!
 

Klaus Peters (11)
Friday February 8, 2013, 8:24 am
Sorry Ki t, this time you let yourself down, normally I would agree with you.
 
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