PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA—According to sources, clinically depressed groundhog and weather prognosticator Punxsutawney Phil awoke from his slumber this early morning, peered directly into his soul, and saw but a mere pathetic shadow of the rodent he once was. “My God, is this who I am now? Is this what I’ve become?” the melancholy animal told reporters, staring hopelessly out onto the pale morning light outside his pen. “There was a time when my world was spring eternal, bright and without gloom. But that was a lifetime ago, I’m afraid.” The downcast rodent then sighed, lifted himself from his urine-soaked confines, and mustered the strength to perform his “little song and dance” for excited locals.
Sunday February 3, 2013, 8:19 pm
Someone told me today that the shadow has never been seen by the official GH so that spring is always 6 more weeks...but the baby burros I spent some time with yesterday may have seen their shadows when the sun broke free of the clouds.
Monday February 4, 2013, 2:04 pm
Wolpartinger from Bavaria/Germany has left the following message:
"Don't worry Punxatawney Phil - come to the Alps and visit your Murmeltier friends - one day you will be like them and everybody will start loving you!" :-)
Monday February 4, 2013, 11:59 pm
Poor Phil! No wonder he's depressed! Look at what he's been reduced to: "A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in his pants..." They've turned a skilled prognosticator, a true rodent of science, into little more than a cheap amusement. Someone please give Phil his dignity or some Prozac or a lady groundhog. Between Groundhog's Day and the fracking that's going on around him, he has little to smile about.