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N.R.A. Defends Purchase of Former Congressman ~~ Andy Borowitiz

Society & Culture  (tags: abuse, americans, culture, ethics, humor, society )

- 1906 days ago -
Mr. Klugian said that as he watched former Rep. Hutchinson at the podium, "It made my blood boil, especially when I thought about all of the current congressmen out there who are totally for sale."

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Kit B (276)
Wednesday April 3, 2013, 11:41 am
Asa Hutchinson speaks during a press conference on Tuesday. Photograph by Win McNamee/Getty.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The National Rifle Association leader Wayne LaPierre today defended his decision to purchase the former congressman Asa Hutchinson, after an outspoken N.R.A. member complained that the organization should be using its funds to buy current congressmen only.

Shortly after Mr. Hutchinson appeared at a press conference in Washington to present the N.R.A.’s plan to arm teachers and other school personnel, N.R.A. dissident Tracy Klugian blasted the purchase of the former Arkansas representative.

“Members of the N.R.A. fork over millions of dollars to this organization,” he said. “That money should be used to buy people who are actually in Congress now, not some has-been like Hutchinson who doesn’t even have a vote anymore.”

Mr. Klugian said that as he watched former Rep. Hutchinson at the podium, “It made my blood boil, especially when I thought about all of the current congressmen out there who are totally for sale.”

Not long after Mr. Klugian made his comments, Mr. LaPierre pushed back: “The purchase of Asa Hutchinson did not and will not prevent the N.R.A. from buying a single additional congressman in the future. Period.”

While refusing to divulge the purchase price for Mr. Hutchinson, Mr. LaPierre reassured the N.R.A. membership, “We got a very good deal on Asa. There wasn’t exactly a bidding war.”

In a separate statement, Mr. Hutchinson said, “A free and lively exchange of views is what makes the N.R.A. such a great organization—and is why I’m so proud to be owned by it.”

By: Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker Magazine |

Kit B (276)
Wednesday April 3, 2013, 11:48 am

Just when ya think politicians can not possibly go any lower, Asa Hutchinson proves us wrong.

Thank you Andy for finding some humor in this lower than pond scum excuse for a human being, and even humor for the NRA.

Just in case you think prostitution is illegal in the United States, if you have been elected to public office than it is not illegal. You too can be a prostitute. Run for Congress and after that sell yourself to the highest bidder.

JL A (281)
Wednesday April 3, 2013, 12:07 pm
Thanks for my dose of AB Kit--though this time my response is mixed with tears of how low my country has fallen

Bryna Pizzo (139)
Wednesday April 3, 2013, 12:43 pm
Thank you. I once said, "I am a woman without a country." Then Kurt Vonnegut's book was published, and I discovered I wasn't alone. Of course, we all love our country, we can't give up hope; we must take her back from corporations and the rest of the scoundrels. (N, P, T)

Abdessalam Diab (145)
Wednesday April 3, 2013, 1:17 pm
No wonder. AIPAC had purchased a majority of upper and lower houses members who take care of the Zionist entity interests before US interests . Where is the surprise ?

Arielle S (313)
Wednesday April 3, 2013, 1:31 pm
Saw Dear Asa on Larry O'Donnell last night - if the NRA was looking for a doofus as dumb and crazy as LaPierre, they got their money's worth. (Actually, I think "pond scum" is being rather kind, Kit....)

Angelika R (143)
Wednesday April 3, 2013, 1:42 pm
I assume they are ALL BOUGHT and now personal belongings/ slaves .Thx for adding an extra humorous touch
("Borowitiz") ;-)
(Only by disabling (temporaily, for sure!) my Adblock Plus I am now able to submit anything anywhere. First time EVER I now see ads on the C2 site -yuck)

Kit B (276)
Wednesday April 3, 2013, 1:42 pm

Oh, please if you can use something below pond scum than have it.

Joseph Miller (23)
Thursday April 4, 2013, 3:19 am

Scott haakon (4)
Thursday April 4, 2013, 8:04 am
What is different about this lots of our politicians are bought and paid for! How else do they raise the billions of dollars it costs to run for office? We all know that the current system has become corrupt with corporate and other "moneyed' interests having undue influence.

Joanne Dixon (38)
Thursday April 4, 2013, 2:06 pm
Scum sucking bottom feeder? I guess it depends on how deep the bottom is? At least these insults do insult the person they intend to insult, and not his or her parents. That has to count for something. Scott Haakon, go look at You can wring your hands and whine or you can do something. You may also want to look up "satire." Satire bites because it is close to truth - the closer, the harder the bite.

Dotti L (85)
Thursday April 4, 2013, 3:05 pm
Here is another satirist that I just love. Get him in my Inbox. Always good for a laugh.

Birgit W (160)
Thursday April 4, 2013, 4:36 pm

Jim Phillips (3257)
Thursday April 4, 2013, 5:10 pm
This is real and this did happen. Not humour nor satire.

No place for threats, intimidation in American political discourse.

Guns at the National Press Club. View starting at 06:21 in this video link.

What is unusual is that 20 armed men were present at this meeting with
former Rep. Hutchinson at the podium.

Ty, Kit.

Nelson Baker (0)
Thursday April 4, 2013, 6:24 pm
Corrupt politicians will be the down fall of this country.

Susanne R (235)
Thursday April 4, 2013, 11:40 pm
Maybe LaPierre was bargain hunting. Day old bread can be a good bargain, and washed-up ex-celebrities draw at least some attention on reality shows. If it's publicity he's after, I hear Gary Busey will be available after he finishes his stint on the Celebrity Apprentice.

Thanks for the laugh, Kit! LaPierre and Hutchinson deserve one another.

paul m (93)
Friday April 5, 2013, 1:27 am

Corrupt Politicans everywhere are an expencive enbarisment and when caught ( if) the party trys to hide it ,
it's the same as Shoplifting .

Kit B (276)
Friday April 5, 2013, 10:11 am

Thanks Jim, I did see the interview on MsNBC with Larry O'Donnell and Asa Hutchinson, the next day Andy had done his magic on this message. I guess if you leave congress while still breathing, you get a gig with a lobby.

Wayne Boone (0)
Saturday April 6, 2013, 7:21 am
I watched Mr. Hutchinson stumble over himself on an MSNBC interview. Really disgusting.
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