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Opponents of Stand Your Ground Propose New Law, Don't Shoot Me for Absolutely No Reason--Andy Borowitz


Society & Culture  (tags: americans, culture, humor, satire, society )

Kit
- 267 days ago - newyorker.com
(The Borowitz Report)--Opponents of Florida's Stand Your Ground law are attempting to mobilize support for a new law called Don't Shoot Me for Absolutely No Reason. ***HUMOR**



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Kit B. (276)
Monday July 22, 2013, 10:19 am
Photograph by Education Images/UIG via Getty.



TALLAHASSEE (The Borowitz Report)—Opponents of Florida’s Stand Your Ground law are attempting to mobilize support for a new law called Don’t Shoot Me for Absolutely No Reason.

The proposed law, which faces major opposition in the Florida legislature, would make it illegal for people in the state to shoot each other for no reason whatsoever.


“Under the provisions of Don’t Shoot Me for Absolutely No Reason, you will be required to have an actual reason for shooting someone,” said a spokesman for the measure, Harland Dorrinson. “This will be a first in Florida.”

The controversial bill has already drawn the ire of the National Rifle Association, which issued a statement today saying that requiring someone to have a reason to shoot another person would violate the Second Amendment.

“If you force someone to have a reason to shoot someone, soon you will be taking away his right to shoot that person altogether,” the N.R.A. said.

“We are not in principle against the idea of having a reason to shoot someone,” the N.R.A. continued. “But we believe you should be allowed to shoot the person first and have the reason second.”

Even if Don’t Shoot Me for Absolutely No Reason somehow passes in the legislature, Florida Gov. Rick Scott said today that he would veto it, telling reporters, “Making people in Florida have a reason to shoot each other would fundamentally change our way of life.”
****

By: Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker Magazine |
 

Kit B. (276)
Monday July 22, 2013, 10:19 am


This is HUMOR - SATIRE !!!
 

Suju Bala (26)
Monday July 22, 2013, 10:30 am
ha ha.. funny
 

Nancy M. (218)
Monday July 22, 2013, 11:59 am
OK, I am chuckling. But it is also sad. " I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me"
 

Jae A. (320)
Monday July 22, 2013, 12:35 pm
Well it is humor but parts of it were just too true .....like .." “This will be a first in Florida.” ..but what chuckles the whole article did bring !

Thank ye Kit !..and that goes for Borowitz too ~
 

Brian M. (142)
Monday July 22, 2013, 12:52 pm
The comedian Chris Rock once suggested that we should put a huge tax on bullets. People are much less likely to open fire when every single bullet costs $2000.
 

Robert S. (115)
Monday July 22, 2013, 2:44 pm
“We are not in principle against the idea of having a reason to shoot someone,” the N.R.A. continued. “But we believe you should be allowed to shoot the person first and have the reason second.”

The truth within is what gives this its priceless edge. Thanks as always Kit.
 

Joanne Dixon (34)
Monday July 22, 2013, 3:17 pm
He certainly has the NRA and Wayne LaPierre nailed.
I also liked tthe previous article about Queen Elizabeth. I saw another graphic, also satirical and intended purely as humor, with her responding to Pope Benedict's announcement that he was retiring due to age with one word: "Wuss!"
 

Lois Jordan (54)
Monday July 22, 2013, 4:18 pm
Noted w/thanks, Kit. As my kids would say in response to this: "If..Only"
 

Kit B. (276)
Monday July 22, 2013, 5:01 pm

Personally, I just love the irony and sarcasm. Andy uses a hammer to hit that nail.
 

Laurie H. (673)
Monday July 22, 2013, 7:49 pm
Thanks for sharing Kit, a little humor is always needed & this one did hit solidly for sure!!!`
 

Jude Hand (47)
Monday July 22, 2013, 7:59 pm
Noted. Thanks, Kit, I needed that. JUST finished an unusually-for-me lengthy comment on another care2er's article on 'stand your ground' :"Blacks Who ;Stand Their Ground; Are Often Imprisoned", by Rodney P, which I highly recommend, source: alternet. Borowitz doesn't know how close he is to the reality here.
 

GGmaSheila D. (89)
Monday July 22, 2013, 9:34 pm
NRA changed the Wild West belief: Shoot first, ask questions later, to: Shoot first, then think of a reason.
 

Teresa Cowley (272)
Tuesday July 23, 2013, 12:24 am
Thanks Kit--needed a bit of levity, and that article is hilarious!!
 

Gene Jacobson (233)
Tuesday July 23, 2013, 6:44 am
Andy's funny. But not actually all that far off in terms of what he said. Stand your ground proponents will never say it quite that way but, in essence, that is Florida's law now. Zimmerman's trial proved that.
 

Kit B. (276)
Tuesday July 23, 2013, 7:41 am

Oh...I think Borowitz knows exactly how close to reality he is with his satire. Satirists worth their salt, must be highly informed.
 

JL A. (269)
Tuesday July 23, 2013, 9:46 pm
Thanks for the dose of AB Kit!
 

Sherri G. (109)
Thursday July 25, 2013, 12:53 am
We have to laugh to keep from crying. Thanks Kit noted.
 
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